As we dive deeper into POWER, I want to share an example from dance that rocked me to my core.  The backstory, I just learned a new dance move and was excited to “impress” the owner by practicing it with him, however, that all changed when he asked me to dance the foxtrot, a dance I didn’t know.

My heart sunk, and when he first approached me, I gave my power away by sulking and saying “I don’t know this dance.”  I was frustrated and getting all in my head.  My animal instincts kicked in to protect myself.

After reflecting, I realized, I was taught that a strong masculine man would take away my power, so I instinctively put up walls to protect myself from being hurt.  I created judgment against myself for being inexperienced in the dance as well as put expectations or judgment on him, thinking the owner of the studios should not waste his time teaching me basic steps when he should be teaching more advanced moves. His time and energy are more valuable than teaching me basic concepts.

An unconscious, controlling man would likely not be able to see through the walls.  He would take the power I was giving to him and use it for his benefit or respond back with resistance because his own wounds could be triggered.  However, a strong, conscious, powerful man could see right through my walls.  He was not interested in taking my power away or fueling his energy from mine.  He held space to meet me where I was and allow me to surrender my own negative thoughts and take my power back.  At that moment, I wasn’t thinking about the past or the future. I allowed myself to be in the present moment with no judgement, where we were both fully aligned with source energy and in our own power.

Not only did I take away the lesson that a strong powerful man, would not take away my power.  I also became aware of patterns I have when I give my power away. I used to be afraid a man would TAKE my power away, however, what I have come to notice is that I was giving it away rather than him taking it.  No one can take your power away unless you let them.    

When I say “I don’t know” – I give my power away.
When I seek approval from someone else, I give my power away.
When I show up frustrated or overwhelmed, I give my power away.
When I do what someone else suggests because it’s easy, I give my power away.
When I do something that isn’t a hell YES, I give my power away.
When I don’t ask for what I need or want, I give my power away.

Being worried about someone TAKING from you, is a lack mentality.  Like there is not enough power for everyone.  Everyone can’t win.  There must be winners and losers, so someone walks away with the power.   You need to fight to be the one who wins and walks away with the most power.  You are not consciously thinking like this, but your energy and subconscious mind is when you fear someone taking our power away. Your survival mode shows up.

What if it’s possible that there is enough power for everyone?

The average person is not actively seeking to take away your power (unless they are a manipulative monster).  If you  show up in personal responsibility and own your power, there is MORE than enough for everyone.  This is what it means to meet someone where they are at.  You stand in your power and do not try to take power away from someone else.  You simply radiate love and light.

When you believe there is an abundance of power, love and money,  there is no need to worry about there not being enough.  There is MORE than enough, and your scarcity beliefs begin to disappear.   You, being in your power, inspires others to be in their power.  You, showing up in love, allow others to feel loved and show up in love.   You believing there is MORE than enough, allows you to believe that YOU ARE ENOUGH.  When you believe in ABUNDANCE, instead of lack or scarcity, you naturally begin to attract more love, money and power in your life.

Over the years, I personally struggled with the word POWER.  I never liked it because of the meaning that I had placed on it throughout my life.  When people said, “step into your power”, I cringed and said, can’t we use a different word?

As women, I believe we all have varying beliefs around what POWER really means which blocks us from truly claiming it. I invite you to ponder on a few questions.

• What does power really mean?
• Do you know when you give your power away?
• Do you let people take power from you?
• Do you know how to protect your energy and power?
• Do you try to control things so that others won’t control you?
• Do you have control issues?
• Do you have a hard time letting go of control?
• Do you know how to stand in your feminine power?

If you truly want to step into the fullest expression of your true self, you need to dive deeper into understanding your “control issues”, which are all about power, control and surrender.  When a woman learns how to step into her feminine power, she not only  claims her sovereignty and power, but she also learns the gift of surrender and receiving.

As I reflect deeply on the word POWER, I looked at it through a negative perspective or connotation.   I saw it as heads of organizations making decisions to control people.  The government, the church, the military, or big businesses, all have people in leadership positions with power.  You may or may not relate to the following, but in my experience, when people in leadership positions had power, they abused it.  They used it to exert influence over others, to manipulate people into thinking or believing a certain way or forcing others to do something THEY want you to do.

Power was always someone who was in control. Someone who is superior in knowledge, status, and/or responsibility. An individual or a collective of individuals with a duty or responsibility to rule over their environment.  They have supreme power over people and decisions.

How do you look at the word power?  Were you taught that POWER was evil?  Did you ever think about it in that way?  Growing up in the church, I was taught to follow the rules, the bible and the guidebook that has been created for us.  There is a dogma and structure of how to behave.  Men were in charge and the women were to follow and be submissive to the man’s influence and leadership.  Growing up I never thought twice about it, I followed orders and did what I was told.  I was taught the structure, doctrine and authority of the church.

Let’s reflect on the military, there are many different levels of status and rank one can have.  When an individual follows the rules like a good soldier and does the hard work, he/she could increase rank and obtain a new position of more power.  The higher the rank, the more power and influence the individual could have over someone. Power is earned by following the rules of the military organization to which the individual belonged.

Now I was never in the military and have great respect for them, however, at the same time, my dad was in the ARMY my entire life.  He was a man of power.  He tried to use his power and authority to get people to follow the rules and do things the way he wanted.  As a child, this felt controlling and manipulative.  It didn’t’ feel like leadership or influence.  There is a difference. THIS is what I want to discuss.

My dad used to say EVERYTHING can be used for good or evil, and in this instance, I FELT a controlling, manipulative, dominating, commanding, demanding, supreme kind of energy.  It was more of telling me what I needed to do or be, rather than allowing me the freedom to make my own choices.  There was no freedom, there was a structure and if you followed the rules within the dominion you would be rewarded.

As I look back at the government, church, military, organizations, companies. families, etc… there is always someone who is the leader or person of power in charge of their dominion.  They have the power to create the structure the way they want to create it.

Have you ever been part of an organization where you didn’t like how things were run? On the flipside, have you ever been part of an organization where you DID LIKE how things were run? There is beauty in having structure and processes that allows you to influence the people in your area/organization.  When there is a sense of knowing, it is easier to influence others to do things the way you want them to be done.

In today’s world, I feel the patriarchy has  provided a perspective that men should be in power and rule the nation.  An example of this is where men hold the control and make the rules and women stay home and care for the kids.  A social system in which the father is head of the household, having authority over women and children.

Unfortunately, many of us have grown up in this type of societal structure and a woman seeking to claim her power is met with many challenges.  Women for years have been fighting for equal rights to men.  Women have been fighting for an equal place in this world on a variety of topics.  Men have always been president, men can only be priests, majority of successful businesses are led by men etc…  This doesn’t mean women are not capable, however, what it reveals is the struggles women have had to go through to feel like they were able to be just as powerful as men.

What I have discovered in my many years of research and work with clients is that most women have subconscious beliefs around men and power that they need to heal before they can fully step into and claim their own power and worth.   Most of us don’t think about these things, because they are underneath the surface, but when you can identify and heal your “power and control wounds”, you will see a huge shift in how you show up and the type of energy you attract into your life.   A woman who claims her feminine power doesn’t fight, she knows how to stand in her queenly presence and power. She is a living role model and influence for the world.