January 29, 2022

Love Is…

LOVE IS:

Sometimes the simplest question can be the most difficult to answer. My dad used to always say love is a verb, it’s an action, it is not just a feeling.  Love is something you freely give to make someone feel special without expecting anything else in return.

How many times do we often put conditions on our love without realizing it?  We want our kids to respect us and do what we say.  We want our partners to meet our needs.  We want our parents to accept our choices.   When someone doesn’t respond in the way we would like, it can be easy to get triggered or feel bad.  We have ALL done it.

The truth of the matter is that STRENGTH in love comes from being unconditional in our giving and not expecting anything from anyone in return.  It is truly being responsible for our own happiness.   Love can be described in so many ways.  I polled a bunch of people to ask them their definition of love and here are some answers

LOVE IS
 – Vulnerable – Allowing someone to see your flaws and imperfections with no judgment
– Effort – Putting in the time, energy and focused effort to show how much you care
 – Respect – Honoring and respecting each other’s beliefs, dreams, fears, faults and failures
– Accepting –  Not trying to change the other person, allow them the freedom to choose for themselves
– Compatible – Enjoying fun things to do together
– Great Conversation – Sharing deep intimate thoughts and moments together
– Growing – Learning from mistakes, taking personal responsibility and growing independently together
– Inspiring – Leading by example and Inspiring me to grow into a better version of myself
  – Patience – Trusting that time will heal
  – Kindness – Giving grace and forgiveness at all time
– Listening – Meeting someone where they are at and paying attention to their needs
– Living – Knowing each other’s language of love and living it

If you asked a child love might look like:
– coloring a picture with me
– making my favorite meal or taking me to my favorite restaurant
– tucking me into bed at night
– Making my lunch for school
– Asking me how my day was or helping me with my homework
– Playing ball with me
– Baking cookies together

It seems easy to outline these items above, however, I also want to share some tough times when it can be hard to show up in unconditional love

– accepting your loved one when they make a poor choice and not judging them for it
– knowing your kid appreciates you even though you don’t expect him to say it
– knowing your partner had a busy day and not seeking attention from him to brighten your day
– not worrying about feeling the need for validation when you send a text to your partner
– trusting your loved one when they make a decision that is different than what you would have chosen
– believing your partner will step up to the plate without you nagging him about how to do it
– letting go of control of how you believe something should be done
– patience in letting your kid make his own mistakes as opposed to saving him or telling him what to do

These are just a handful of situations where it can feel harder to show up in love and kindness.  Yes, we want to be there for our loved ones, BUT when their actions or choices trigger us, this is an opportunity for us to dig deeper and see how we can show up in more and more love.

LOVE changes people. LOVE inspires people. LOVE IS what makes the world a better place.

January 29, 2022

What is Unconditional Love?

What is Unconditional Love Anyway?

How often to you offer love with “strings attached”, without knowing it? Or have an expectation of that if someone loves you they will do something for you?

The day before Christmas, my boys were all together under the same roof for the first time in months.  All I wanted for Christmas, was my boys to take a nice family photo.  I believed I was not expecting too much.  But all hell broke lose when one of my son’s REFUSED to take a family photo.  Can anyone else relate?

I know with little kids, it’s sometimes hard to take a photo, but you would think with adult children it would be different. My one son doesn’t like taking photos, but I figured that since it was the only thing I asked for, that he would do it.  He reluctantly put on our new matching PJ’s  and stood behind us as we took the photo.  He turned the Christmas tree off during the photo and hid so we couldn’t see his face.  When we realized he wasn’t in the photo, we asked him to take it again.  We all said things like… Please put your jammies back on. Why can’t you just take a photo? I don’t understand what the big deal is with taking a picture etc…) At this point, he was done.

I tried to talk with him, but by this point, his emotional well being had hit the charts.  There would be no talking. I have learned over time that when he gets triggered, he needs his space.  Talking to him, asking him questions and trying to get him to engage are inconceivable to him.  Anyone’s consistent probing doesn’t do any good.

I initially felt horrible. All I wanted was a picture and some family time and it turned into a dramatic affair. I did some self-reflecting on the whole event and it made me think about expectations and unconditional love.

Did I really think that him refusing to take the photo meant that he didn’t love me? Did I really think that he intentionally wanted to hurt me?  Was I setting the expectation that if he loves me, he will take the photo, and if he doesn’t love me then he won’t?  So many wild ideas can cross our minds, and it made me really wonder what the lesson was for me.

Each person is unique, and this son handles things very differently that I would, but it doesn’t mean I love him any less. The greatest gift I could have given him is unconditional love.  Even if you don’t take a photo, I still love you.  He doesn’t understand why he feels the way he does, he just knows he’s different.  Sometimes he doesn’t like being different, but he is.

The next morning, I went downstairs and he wouldn’t speak to me.  He was hiding under the covers.  He didn’t want a lecture.  I said good morning, I love you and left.  Later that morning, he tapped me on the shoulder when walking by and I knew today would be a better day.

I am sure he felt bad for how things ended.  He has told me before, sometimes he can’t control how his body responds and he just needs space. He didn’t want us to yell at him and blame him for what happened.  The truth is, he typically asks for 24-hour notice for watching movies, pictures, family time, etc…   His body needs to prepare for the connection with people.   He was not ready for this type of connection and was pushed to the limit.  It seems odd for the rest of us, but it is a great reminder to learn how to love and accept people for who they are.  This son has made an extreme influence in my life on managing expectations and meeting people where they are and not expecting them to be just like me.

You can’t force someone to be how you want them to be.  You need to understand them and invite them on the journey with you.   If they follow you great, if they don’t that is ok too. It is THEIR journey.

The deeper lesson for me is that while I have expectations of what I desire in life, I am not going to let my love of myself be determined on another person’s actions or lack of action. Or think things like….

If my son doesn’t take a picture, I am not loved.
If my son doesn’t buy me a gift, I am not loved.
If my son doesn’t believe in my spiritual or life theories, I am not loved.

My LOVE, VALUE and WORTH, are not defined by anyone else.  I am loved, cherished, honored, deserving and worthy, because I choose to love myself.  I CHOOSE LOVE.  I choose to BE LOVE.  I choose to act in a loving way, even when I know the person is triggered.  Fighting back is ego’s controlling response of needing to be in power and only creates drama.

In the moment after the photos, I wasn’t choosing LOVE.  I was triggered.  It was a power struggle. I wanted something and wasn’t getting it.  I came across demanding love, which never works.

Did we both make mistakes in the process?  YES
Could we have said or done things differently? YES
Did I have unrealistic expectations of what I wanted? NO
Did he have unrealistic expectations of how he would have liked the situation handled? NO

Communication on expectations and limits or boundaries are key.  Only through communicating your needs and wants can we teach people how to treat us.  Demanding what you want, when you want it, because you want it, never works.

Loving yourself unconditionally and knowing you are not broken, you do not need to be fixed, you are loved, deserving and worthy, allows you to shine your love and light into the world.  You do not need someone else’s validation (especially your children) to know that you are loved.

YOU ARE LOVE.

November 26, 2021

The wrong things you were taught about desire!


What where you taught about DESIRE?  Were you taught it was wrong, bad and shameful?  It is gluttonous to WANT more than what you have.  You should be grateful for what you have and not be selfish.  There are so many poor people in the world who need support and YOU don’t need that.  The list goes on and on.

I spent some time evaluating what I really thought about desire.  What was I taught?  Could it be that I had limiting beliefs around desire?  Could it be that I was taught certain things to protect me from desire?  Could it be that this fire and itch inside of me was real?  There really is more to desire than I originally thought!  If I was thinking this way, could it be that others were thinking and feeling the same thing too?  Are we all secretly wondering but not sure where to go?  Are we all wanting a sacred sisterhood where we can know that we are NOT alone in how we feel?

I had my own thoughts and decided to interview other women, and what I found is that they had many of the same beliefs, but at the same time, there was this nagging and yearning inside of them, that was SEARCHING FOR SOMETHING MORE

We REALLY do want and desire MORE in our lives
We REALLY do want to experience passion, romance and pleasure.
We REALLY do want to feel adventure, excitement and fulfillment
We REALLY do want to want to feel beautiful, alive and vibrant
We REALLY do want to feel like a woman..

Women are hungry for desire and don’t know it!!!

I was reading a book, Wild at Heart by John Eldredge and came across the top 3 core desires of men and women that God placed in our hearts.  Women want, romance, purpose and to look and feel beautiful.   I stopped in my tracks and thought WOW.  This is in alignment with what I feel and what many of the women I interviewed shared. This book also proceeded to talk about our Christian beliefs and how unfortunately our beliefs can get in the way of what we truly desire.

Some of you may agree or disagree with me here, but I feel called to share the insights that were downloaded to me.  What I realized after reading this book is that the reason it was hard for me and so many other women to claim what they really wanted is because at the core, we were told DESIRE is EVIL.

I was taught things like…
Desire is evil
Desire is wanting more than what we have
I should be happy what I have and not want more.
Desire is selfish and gluttonous
I need to earn what I want, not just expect it
If I didn’t earn it, I don’t deserve it
… the list goes on….
Where did these believes come from? I believe it stems from our cultural, familial and religious beliefs passed down from generation to generation.  After much research and contemplation, I found some insights with the story of Adam and Eve.  In short, Eve had a desire to eat from the fruit of the tree.  She went after her desire, when she was told not to and felt embarrassed and ashamed.  She felt naked.  She was banished from the garden and experienced a completely different life than before going after her desire. In short, this can translate into “Going after your Desires is Evil or Wrong”. If you go after your desires, you are going against God’s will and will be punished.  I know there are many folks who might question me on this interpretation, however, this is my observation and belief.  The truth is we ALL have subconscious beliefs that are blocking us from moving forward in our lives.  I encourage you to think…. WHAT IF… this is something that could be blocking me?

If you have a subconscious belief that “Desire is Evil”, it will be VERY HARD for you, go after your desires.  It will be very hard to identify what you want, let alone claim it and take time for you to manifest what you desire. What I have learned in my years of healing, is that Desire is causative and calls us forward.  Desire is a tool that God has provided to allow us to create more for our lives.  If you struggle with claiming what you want and desire in life, maybe, just maybe there is a limiting belief that is STOPPING you from claiming what you really want in your life.

November 26, 2021

Remembering Your Worth

Remembering Your Worth

Have you ever had periods of time when you have lost sight of your worth?  In those times you might have felt depressed, insecure, or lacked confidence in yourself. You know something doesn’t feel good, so you will likely pursue substitute worth based on judgment and outside forces rather than the beauty that resides within you. You will look for proof and validation outside of yourself. You may find yourself in a position of settling for less than what you truly desire, but struggle with stepping forward and remembering your worth. It can be easy to let yourself go, settle for breadcrumbs, tolerate bad behavior, focus on pleasing others or question if you deserve what you desire.

When you truly feel worthy, you love, honor and accept yourself without hesitation. You no longer question who you are. You no longer linger in guilt or shame. You no longer beat yourself up for making mistakes.  You no longer look for excuses. You stop comparing yourself to others.  You take 100% full responsibility for your life.  You accept the truth of who you are including all your imperfections. You come to the realization that the conception of your worth is not based on the fulfillment of ANY expectations. You begin to see your mistakes and failures as just another part of life’s journey. You know you are interconnected with all other living beings and when you claim your worth, it allows you to show up happy, motivated and confident in the essence of who you are and shine your light into the world.

Humans are like drops of water in an endless ocean. Our worth comes from our role as distinct individuals as well as our role as a part of something larger than ourselves. Awakening to this concept can help you rediscover the worth and value within every one of us, which helps to create a ripple effect in the world.

Every time you treat yourself with compassion and kindness, appreciate yourself, define your personal boundaries, be proactive in seeing that your needs are met, and claim your desires, you express your recognition of your innate value.

When you STOP feeling guilty for honoring your needs and desires, you claim your worth.  These are actions of loving and honoring yourself.  There is no need to look for validation or proof from outside of yourself. You are claiming you are a high value, divinely powerful and fully expressed woman.

What would happen if you remembered your worth?
What if you could stop all searching to uncover that which you already are?
How would your life be different? How would you hold yourself?  How would your heart feel? How would your being feel?

The greatest gift you can give to yourself and to others is to stand in your own value and worth.  Not to feel good by enabling, fixing or saving others, but rather to be a living example.  When you raise your standards and honor your worth, you step into your divine feminine power and fully express your needs and desires in all aspects of life.  You stand in your truth and shine your radiance and light to others as a role model and example to the world.

 

November 26, 2021

What do you THINK you know about being worthy?

What do you BELIEVE about WORTH ?
There is a big difference between self-esteem and self-worth, even though many times they are used interchangeably. Self- Esteem is a measure of how you feel about yourself at any given moment and is usually based on your skills, talents and abilities.  Your worth however, is not a product of your talent, your looks, your intelligence or how much you have accomplished.

Your worth is not defined by WHAT YOU DO, but rather WHO YOU ARE.  It is an immeasurable component of your eternal and infinite oneness with the Universe.  Your worth can not be taken away from you.  It can not be damaged by life’s traumas or challenges.  We are all born worthy and deserving. Your worth is intertwined into your very being as a human, however, as imperfect beings, you can easily forget or ignore your value and worth.

What were YOU taught about being worthy and deserving?

Honestly, as I reflect back, while I may have been taught that I was an amazing beautiful child of God, I still was taught to believe that I had to earn things in my life based on my skills, talents and abilities.  I was rewarded and praised for what I accomplished or did in my life.  I had to work hard and prove myself in order to be worthy and deserving of receiving praise, gratitude and recognition.  While I knew God would provide me grace and forgiveness daily, I still had to prove my worth and value in everything I did.

Your value and worth is about knowing your beliefs, owning your desires, loving yourself and your body, standing in your power and claiming your value so you can shine your light and radiance into the world.  There is a beautiful quote from Brene Brown that I absolutely love, that fully encompasses the depth of what this means to me.

“I’ve come to this belief that, if you show me a woman who can sit with a man in his real vulnerability, in deep fear, and be with him in it, I will show you a woman who, A, has done her work and, B, does not derive her power from that man.

Show me a man who can sit with a woman in deep struggle and vulnerability and not try to fix it, but just hear her and be with her and hold space for it, I’ll show you a guy who’s done his work and a man who doesn’t derive his power from controlling and fixing everything.”
 
When we are focused on OURSELVES and not on fixing or saving others, we can fully stand in our value and our power.  When we let go of the need to control, fix or save others and LIVE OUR LIVES, this is when we step into our truth.  So many of us have the deep desire to help others.  We want to make a difference in the world and make the world a better place, which is noble and honorable.  However, we can tend to base our value and worth on the success or failure of others.

If a loved one succeeds, we feel accomplished, worthy and deserving and when a loved one fails or doesn’t take our advice, we tend to question our value and worth.  We can tend to feel bad and feel guilt or shame.  Thinking or questioning, is there something we did wrong?  What could we have done differently? . Did we say or do the “right things”?  If only we could have made a different decision……

When we let go of the need to find our worth and value in others, we find our true selves.  When we no longer need to fill our days searching to uncover what has been here all along, we no longer need to prove our value.  We claim our value as a child of God, who is worthy and deserving of all our heart’s desires.

November 26, 2021

What they don’t teach you in school.

What They Don’t Teach You in School

This month I want to talk about what it REALLY means to believe.  As a young girl I was raised in a Catholic home and my faith was the foundation and bedrock of my family.  I was taught various beliefs, values, and guiding principles about life.  Since faith was the foundation of my family, I never questioned them.  I followed the rules and took on all those values and beliefs as my own.

Over the years, I slowly started to discover that not all the beliefs I was taught felt good to me, but how could I dare begin to question what was solidly true?  I remember many times my faith was challenged.  I could feel this overwhelming feeling of “Is this from God or the Devil?”  I knew what I was taught and yet what I felt in my heart was so different.  Who should I listen to?  Which feeling is from God and which is from the Devil? How do I reconcile what is showing up for me?

Early in my journey after I attended a retreat 8 years ago, I remember I met two beautiful women at a networking event, one was a Psychic Medium and another was a Tantric Healer. I loved their enthusiasm and energy and felt called to connect with them.  They were such beaming bright lights and it felt good to be around them.  After the meeting, a highly successful Christian woman came up to me and warned me NOT to connect with them.  It was very strange.  She demanded that I not entertain conversing with these women for my own protection, because they were not of God and that she prayed for their souls daily.

I was in shock and confused.   I respected this woman, and yet, I also really connected with the two new women I had just met.  At this time in my life, my faith taught me, that reiki, energy workers, psychics etc… were not from God, but from the Devil.  So, I went to the chapel to pray for guidance.  I was confused.  My heart was pulling me in one direction and what I was taught was pulling me in another.  Which voice do I listen to?  Later that evening a friend of mine (another Christian woman) said Jen, I met this amazing woman who I think you need to meet.  It was one of the 2 women I had met earlier that day.  In that moment, I KNEW I needed to follow my heart.  This was God telling me it was safe and welcome to meet with these women.

In that moment, I shifted an old belief about “energy work” and these women.  Not because I found proof written in the bible, or an article online.   I FELT IT in the core of my being.   It was like the fear I had was wiped away.  I prayed and asked for guidance and was given the answer.  God always says, “ask and you shall receive.”

This is just one example early on in my journey of having to face some tough roadblocks of deciding which path to take.  Learning how to listen to the wisdom of my body and discern what is truth and what is a lie.  Over the past 10 years I have discovered many beliefs that have stopped me from stepping into the fullest version or myself.  I was living a lie, walking around numb and unfulfilled and didn’t know it.  I thought I was doing what I was supposed to do.   I thought I was being a good mom, good wife, good friend and living up to others’ expectations,  but what I have learned now is how to open my heart, body and mind to the truth that is inside of me.

I invite you to join me on a journey to discovering the truth about YOU.  The truth about DESIRE.  The truth about LOVE.  The truth about your BODY.  The truth about SEX.  The truth about POWER.  The truth about WEALTH and VALUE. 

The truth is we didn’t learn these things in school.  Our education was focused on reading, writing and arithmetic.  Our parents did the best job they could with the knowledge they had, but if they didn’t know they couldn’t teach us either. I want to help guide you on a journey to becoming the fullest expression of who you are as a woman.  When you learn how to become aware of your beliefs, let go of what is no longer serving you and claim your desires, you step into your feminine power and shine your light into the world.  Stay tuned for more nuggets of wisdom of what I have learned on this journey to unlocking my feminine power and stepping into fullest expression of me.  I hope you are curious, inspired and motivated to learn how you too can shift the beliefs that are no longer serving you and live a life filled with passion, pleasure and purpose.

 

November 1, 2021

What are you Waiting for? Life is Found in Desire

Two months after my dad died, I started taking ballroom dancing lessons and found a new PASSION that brought so much joy and pleasure to my life.  Not only did I enjoy dancing itself, but there were so many things about dance that translated to everyday life. I used to share with people that dance was like life coaching on steroids.  While I only took one lesson a week and came to Friday night dance parties, it was the one thing that brought me joy  and pleasure that I looked forward to every week.   I felt ALIVE when I was on the dance floor.  For the first time in my life, I was starting to become ME.

Do you remember the last time you found PASSION in something you enjoyed so much that it totally fueled your soul? Something where you felt FULLY ALIVE in the essence of who you are?

That is what DESIRE does for us. Desire is NOT selfish, gluttonous or self-serving.

DESIRE is a gift that God planted in our hearts.
DESIRE is causative.
DESIRE calls us forward.
DESIRE is the fuel that allows growth and transformation to occur.

Life is found in the dance between your DEEPEST DESIRE and your GREATEST FEAR!!

When we begin to understand the POWER of DESIRE, we can use it to call us forward in life.  However, most of the time, we feel GUILTY for THINKING about what we DESIRE, let alone CLAIM what we DESIRE.

Last year around this time, I found myself in a place of feeling frustrated and unhappy.  The previous year I had found this new love of dance and wished I could be in the dance studio more often, but I made some decisions for my family that would give my son an amazing opportunity to go to an elite private school for hockey and as a result, I put MY DESIRES aside.

I had some money put away and did a showcase, but I was not continuing to build my regular dance  program.  I came to a point where I was starting to feel resentful.  Yes, I LOVE my kids, AND at the same time I DESIRED more.

I had friends say things like

… Sacrifice this time for your son, you will have other chances in a few years to take more dance lessons.
… This is only a small period of time in your life you can wait.
… Dancing is expensive, are you sure you can’t find a less expensive hobby
… You can find something else that bring your joy and pleasure

I got to a point I was so angry and resentful.  I was taking all my hard-earned money and spending it on him as opposed to spreading the love across all of us, including me.  I did some journaling and wrote down EVERYTHING I was ANGRY ABOUT and then decided to turn it around.

I no longer wanted to be ANGRY or RESENTFUL.  I wanted to feel FREE. I wanted to feel ALIVE.  There is NOTHING wrong with me claiming what I DESIRE.   If I wanted, I could pay for dance AND  for my son’s school.  Why does it have to be one  of the other?

I learned it doesn’t have to be an EITHER/OR model.
I learned claiming my desire calls me AND my kids forward.
I learned how to manage my mindset so that I didn’t have to sacrifice my dreams.
I learned to stop waiting for the perfect time
I learned to stop waiting for the money to arrive.

I said YES to TRUE DESIRE, and God unfolded all the rest.

November 30, 2020

Inspired Beauty and The Experience of Witnessing

 

A photographer friend of mine used to do photoshoots of women and put on a gallery show every year named, Inspired Beauty. They were not “sexy” or boudoir photoshoots, but rather they focused on bringing out the beauty of a woman. He would see into a woman’s soul and allow her essence to be reflected through the photos taken. He could see the beauty in all women and felt his calling was to help women see the beauty inside of themselves. As we mentioned earlier, men can many times see more beauty in us than we see in ourselves, because we are so focused on comparing ourselves to societal standards. This photoshoot was a completely different experience than my first boudoir photoshoot. This was more than just feeling sexy and confident, this was about getting to know myself at a deeper level. It was almost like asking the question, “Who is Jen?” I want you to have a similar experience and dive into the depths of your truth and answer the question “Who are You?”

Many of the Inspired Beauty photos that were taken were captured of a woman not smiling. The goal wasn’t to put on a happy face. The goal was to allow a woman to see the beauty of herself and be in the moment. It felt more like an intimate experience of seeing into someone’s soul. It was not at all like taking photos for a branding shoot or a headshot. He captured amazing images of women that highlighted a woman’s essence of who she was. His work was POWERFUL. And those experiences were more than photoshoots for those women.

Photoshoots in general, are all amazing because the experience itself is an embodiment practice. It is an experience that puts you in a position of being in your body. The reality is, women have so much anxiety around picture taking like we discussed in a previous lesson. First is the anxiety around making the decision to say yes. Am I at the right body shape to do this? Once you make the decision to say yes, you question, what should I wear? After you plan your outfits, you may get nervous about having your hair, nails and make-up done. After all those decisions are made and tasks completed, you are left with being in the experience.  That’s right. When you are ready for the photoshoot, you get to then be the star of the show.  You not only get the opportunity to put on sexy clothes, but you also get the opportunity to be witnessed by someone. Not only are you nervous about how your pictures are going to look, you may also have anxiety about the fact that someone else can see how you are feeling in the moment. When you begin to let go of your anxiety and step into your expression as a woman and someone sees you doing that, it is extremely powerful. Yes, it can be scary and uncomfortable but after you had the experience, you can see how powerful it can be. To not only be in your power, but also have someone WITNESS you as well. If you allow it to be, it is what I would truly consider an intimate experience and connection with oneself. When you can feel at complete ease with yourself, you are experiencing a union and deep connection with Source energy.

 

Photo Credit Bob Briskey Photography

November 30, 2020

My First Photoshoot Experience

 

There was a point in my life where I didn’t think I was beautiful and sexy. I hid behind so many lies all my life. As I started being open to the possibility of SOMETHING MORE in my life and relationships, I participated in a program that allowed me to dive into my body shame. I realized that my body had physically been numb for years. I didn’t want to hide anymore. Through that program and other embodiment experiences, I had learned how to feel my body again.

 

So I set 3 intentions…

  • To share my experience with the world. To help other women heal their sexuality and body shame so they could have an epic love affair with themselves and show up as the sexy confident woman they desired to be.
  • To help other women take this newfound aliveness and create more intimate connections, and live the life of their dreams.
  • To challenge myself to do a boudoir photoshoot.

 

Now that I could feel my body again, I wanted to know how it felt to feel sexy and attractive again. The day after I got home from my retreat there was a Groupon in my inbox for a boudoir photoshoot. I thought to myself, really God? Could this really be happening? How on earth did this happen so quickly?

Then of course doubt set in and I made up every excuse in the book. I didn’t know if I should do it. I didn’t know if I could find the right photographer. I didn’t know if I really wanted to spend the money. I wanted to lose a good 20 to 40 pounds first. I almost said no because I was unhappy with my physical appearance. I just had this amazing spiritual awakening, but I was still not happy with my physical appearance and so almost said NO!

I spent some serious time in thought questioning what I was afraid of and why I would turn down the opportunity that I asked for. When it came down to it, I had been ashamed of my body and who I was for years. I didn’t want to spend money on photos of myself that I wouldn’t like, where I thought I was fat and didn’t look good. While I just had this awakening that I could feel my body again, I still needed to go through the process of additional healing to truly love my body again too. Then, I remembered the intention I set about sharing my story with the world and I made the decision to do my first boudoir photoshoot even though I felt curious, overweight and scared.

I had never really gotten my picture taken before, so this was one great way to tackle the challenge. The experience was so much more than a photoshoot. It symbolized being OPEN to saying yes to the possibilities that were in store for my life. I realized that before change could happen, I needed to be accepting and loving of myself for who I was NOW, not who I thought I should be. If I wanted to teach other women this message, then I needed to practice what I preach.

Doing a photoshoot was a great way to dive into the deep end of the self-love transformation process. This was just the beginning of my journey. I was so grateful I did the photoshoot.  While I didn’t release all the shame around my body, I took inspired action to begin appreciating my body as opposed to shaming it all of the time.

What I didn’t realize was how profound a photoshoot experience was on my overall confidence and self-image. I ended up having additional photoshoots over the course of the next seven years and each one was a completely different experience and part of the personal self-love journey. The photoshoot had two amazing components. The first is the experience of being in your body. A photoshoot isn’t just about the result of the photo, it is about the experience of really being present in the moment and learning to enjoy and be in your body, in serious, in playful, and in fun moments. The second part of the experience is something I wasn’t expecting and that was being witnessed by someone else. There is a profound feeling when you are in a space of loving yourself and your body and there is someone else witnessing you in that experience. It is like a breath of fresh air. They reflect to you the radiance you are shining during the photoshoot and it is miraculous to have someone truly see you in the depths of who you are.

 

 

 

November 27, 2020

Permission to Experience

 

I would like to challenge you, to really come into the fullest expression of yourself. To come to know and love you, which includes the enjoyment of being YOURSELF! If you want to be grateful and see the beauty in everyone and everything, you also need to do the same thing for yourself and learn to love and admire the BEAUTY IN YOU.

You might be thinking, ok Jen, that is great, but how is having a photoshoot or dancing going to help me create a better relationship with my partner, love myself more and help me step into a fuller expression of myself?

I’d like to share with you 3 different benefits…

  • Seeing yourself from a different perspective
    Being in your body allows you to take off the roles of mom, wife, professional, daughter, sister, volunteer person, church leader etc. and to SEE YOURSELF as the beautiful woman you are. It is no longer about doing something for someone else, it is about BEING and ENJOYING who you are. You can learn how to surrender and be in your body fully and completely. When you are in this fullest expression, you begin to attract more of what you desire in your life.
  • Feel into the experience and what it reveals to you about yourself
    The value of a photoshoot is much bigger than the result of the photos. The photos capture a snapshot in time of the essence of who you are, but the photoshoot itself allows you to fully step into YOU and experience the joy, beauty and pleasure of being you. Each time you do a photoshoot, you will see the growth in your journey and how you feel during the shoot. When you dance, you can feel into your energy and that of your partner. The experience allows you to step more fully into the essence of being a woman. When you move to the beat of the music you can feel the energy move through you. In each of these examples, you are not talking about something, you are experiencing and creating a new loving imprint within your body.
  • Witness the growth of who you are in your journey
    Since it’s hard to see ourselves, it is beautiful when you can experience multiple photoshoots and see your progress along the journey. It reminds me of watching kids grow up, you can see their growth. When you have a photo taken, you can see the change in who you are and have become show up in your photos as well. The same is true for dancing. You can see and feel the shift in the way you move, how you carry yourself and how you step into your energy, essence and your power as a woman. You are no longer giving your power away. You can feel and own your divine feminine power.

 

When you give yourself permission to experience BEING in your body, your whole world changes.  So, what does experience “it” even mean? Experiencing “it” is about being in your body and living authentically through all the moments and emotions of life. Experiencing “it” means to allow yourself to be free to feel and embrace all that the world and your relationships can offer. It means giving yourself permission to step into the fullest expression of you.