March 16, 2021

Managing Radiance Energy Leaks

Radiance energy leaks happen when a person is not in full alignment with the fullest expression of who they are.   There are MANY ways that energy leaks occur and if they are not managed, an individual will continue to give their power away without realizing it.  It’s like running an old pattern over and over again.  Individuals must learn how to identify what is getting in the way of the fulfillment of their desires.

The challenge is, that most people have multiple energy leaks and it can be overwhelming to identify where to begin.  I would like to encourage you to follow this four-step process in learning how to manage radiance energy leaks.

STEP 1 Become Aware of Your Radiance Leaks
STEP 2 Identify the ones that resonate the most with you
STEP 3 Review what it is costing you and what the payoff is
STEP 4 Decide which of the 5 items is the MOST IMPORTANT for you to address

A key step in the process is not just identifying what it is costing you, but to also define the payoff being received for allowing the leak to keep happening.  I remember watching Dr. Phil years ago and every time he would counsel a guest, he would tell them that the reason they were not changing their behavior was because there was a PAYOFF they were getting.   You must acknowledge that piece otherwise, the pattern will never be changed.

The truth of the matter is that all humans have energy leaks.  If they go unmanaged, life can feel overwhelming, stressful and chaotic.  When you have tools available to manage your energy, you can learn how to stop energy leaks and more fully step into your own power.

Here is a small sampling of different types of Radiance Energy Leaks

BEHAVIORS of OTHERS

  • Tolerating behaviors that drain you
  • Tolerating behaviors that trigger you
  • Blaming others
  • Criticizing others
  • Listening to others complaining
  • Letting others walk all over you
  • Say yes to others when you don’t have time
  • Ignoring stuff that triggers you
  • Allowing unacceptable behavior
  • Teaching people how to treat you
  • Conflicts with loved ones

SELF-DEVELOPMENT

  • Criticizing yourself
  • Striving for perfection
  • Blaming yourself
  • Not getting your needs met
  • Not asking for what you want or need
  • Over-giving
  • Not knowing how to receive complements
  • Being too masculine
  • Being too controlling
  • Gossiping or complaining
  • Whining or colluding
  • Not having any boundaries
  • Feeling competition
  • Not doing what you are passionate about
  • Being TOO independent
  • People Pleasing
  • Trying to be a Good Girl

EMOTIONAL HEALTH

  • Closing off your heart
  • Stuffing your emotions
  • Being too needy
  • Not healing your past
  • Emasculating men
  • Not connecting with women in your life
  • Not knowing & using the love languages
  • Hiding your true thoughts and feelings
  • Not speaking your truth
  • Beliefs that you are not enough
  • Beliefs that you are not deserving or worthy of love and abundance
  • Feeling unsafe and unprotected

TIME

  • Not having a plan
  • Plan too much & no time for spontaneity
  • Overcommitting or overscheduling
  • Working too late
  • Not delegating
  • Doing everything yourself
  • Watching too much TV
  • Scrolling too much on Social Media
  • Procrastinating
  • Wasting time
  • Reacting instead of planning
  • Not giving yourself enough “Me- Time”
  • Saying yes when you mean no
  • Not making quick decisions

PHYSICAL HEALTH

  • Not getting enough sleep
  • Not getting enough to eat
  • Not taking vitamins or supplements
  • Using chemicals in your household
  • Gaining weight
  • Overindulging in food
  • Getting sick
  • Not cooking enough at home
  • Not taking time for meal prep
  • Drinking too much (sugar or alcohol)
  • Not getting enough exercise

PLEASURE

  • Not having enough sex
  • Not having enough physical touch
  • Not loving your body enough
  • Lack of self-pleasure practices
  • Not enough snuggling or gentle touch
  • Not having a morning routine
  • Not hugging
  • Being afraid to touch your body
  • Not enough orgasmic play
  • Not enjoying sexual intimacy
  • Only pleasing the man
  • Not moving your body enough

MONEY

  • Spending too much
  • Not investing in yourself
  • Not having a budget
  • Not seeing where your money leaks are
  • Running up credit card debt
  • Overindulgence
  • Lack mentality
August 17, 2020

Understanding the “Turn On”

Did you know that being turned-on has more to do with an energetic connection than it does with physical touch alone? We have this false belief that turn-on needs to be “sexual” when there are SO many other things that can turn you on and light your fire that are just as powerful.

When women are craving more intimacy, passion and connection with their partner, I hear concerns like: the romance has died, we live like roommates, I have lost my libido or I don’t feel turned-on anymore. Let’s look at the definition of what it means to be “turned-on” for our answer.
Webster defines “Turn On” as: An activation or cause to flow, operate, or function by or as if by turning a control, or to move pleasurably.

When you turn on the lights, the room goes from dark to light. When you turn on the water faucet, the water goes from nothing to a continuous flow of water. Our energy is the same way. Being turned-on is feeling ALIVE and feeling the positive flow of energy throughout your entire body. A spark ignites and fuels you up on the inside and radiates outward to others. When you are turned-on, people feel the difference in your energy and want to be around you.

When you tune into yourself, into the frequency that fuels your fire, you feel energized and alive. Abraham Hicks, an inspirational speaker and author, regularly talks about being “in the vortex.” She shares inspiring stories and wisdom on how to get tuned in, tapped in and turned on with life. According to Hicks, when you are “turned-on” you are in the flow of life and attract to you the things you desire.

Turn-on can be a physical sensation however it doesn’t have to be. Sometimes we believe that we need a man to be turned-on, because we know how good it feels when we feel turned-on in his presence. The truth is you don’t need a man to find your turn on. If you can find your turn-on without a man, imagine how exciting it can be when you bring your aliveness to meet him. The fireworks that will fly. When you experience the depths of aliveness, you can combine the physical, emotional, energetic and spiritual components of turn on. If you want to experience deeper intimacy and connection in your life, it begins with not just knowing your turn-on, but living a turned-on life.

August 11, 2020

Make a Commitment to Your Pleasure

As we dive deeper into understanding what pleasure is as well as the importance of it, we owe it to ourselves to make a commitment to our pleasure and our radiance.

With any new venture or goal in life, the hardest part is making the decision and getting started. Let’s think about the decision to eat healthier or workout out. How many times have you said to yourself, I am going to start eating better or go to the gym regularly to find yourself NOT following through on what it was you said you were going to do for yourself.
Just like eating healthy, going to the gym, meditating, or going to church are all regular habits or practices, PLEASURE IS ALSO A PRACTICE. You can’t just eat healthy once a week and expect to be slim. You also can’t just workout once a week and expect to tone your body. You need to make a commitment to yourself and create a regular practice.
I am gifting you with the opportunity to make a vow to yourself to own your pleasure. Join our movement, by choosing to reclaim your sexuality as a woman and anchor the journey of coming home to yourself. In choosing to accept The Pleasure Promise, you are taking a stand to connect more deeply with yourself, your body, your partner and the Divine.

The Pleasure Promise is a 3-part journey:
• Learning to love and accept your body
• Discovering your own pleasure (with or without a partner)
• Surrendering to a deeper spiritual connection (intimacy and sharing of whole self)

You will find that pleasure is the gateway to a deeper spiritual connection with your partner and the Divine. If you truly want to experience the depth of intimacy and connection you crave, making a commitment to your pleasure is vitally important. It could be be THE THING that saves your marriage or that makes your man want to commit to you.

If you are ready to begin the next phase of your journey and are curious on learning more about HOW to create a practice of committing to your own pleasure, click on our website link and sign up to receive a download of The Pleasure Promise. You can use this guide as a daily promise to yourself and your pleasure.

If you are ready to take your commitment to another level, sign up for a complementary consultation and learn how we can support you on your personal journey.

July 23, 2020

Defining Pleasure

When I started focusing on pleasure, my first thought was what are people going to think? I was raised as a good catholic girl, how could I be exploring, let alone encouraging other women to open to the possibilities of what focusing on pleasure could do for their lives, relationships and careers? Don’t get me wrong I do enjoy life, but I’m a busy working mom always on the go living a life filled with passion and purpose and can easily get caught up in all the work to get done, whether it’s participating in church activities, raising my family or building and running my business.

You might say, Jen, I do take time to enjoy my life. I take time for me regularly. I enjoy spending time with my kids, connecting with friends and make date nights. We also take regular vacations. If this is true for you, I applaud your efforts; however, I encourage you to consider your experience with TRULY FEELING pleasure. Pleasure is a delightful sensation we allow ourselves to feel when our attention and energy is FULLY IN OUR BODY.
Pleasure is different from fun (being playful) or joy (a state of inner peace), as it ALLOWS OUR BODIES TO FEEL. When we deny ourselves pleasure, we end up creating physical and emotional pain. Pleasure can be felt through all of our senses. Rediscovering our ability to feel enables us to express our true self which includes experiencing pure enjoyment as well releasing negative or stagnant energies that are no longer serving us.

When we embody ourselves, we awaken the feminine energy and radiance inside of us. We become, healed, whole and healthy. We discover how to reclaim our power and begin to honor and appreciate our body as a temple.

I want you to be curious! What if PLEASURE was the answer?

• WHAT IF you could experience more pleasure in your life with no judgment?
• WHAT IF experiencing pleasure allowed you to discover your purpose?
• WHAT IF owning your pleasure is the key to you discovering your authentic self?
• WHAT would happen IF you gave yourself permission to nurture yourself as a woman?
• WHAT would happen IF you got in touch with your true feminine nature?
• WHAT IF feeling pleasure opened doors of opportunity that you never knew existed?
• WHAT IF experiencing pleasure was the key to creating more intimate relationships?

PLEASURE IS NOT A LUXURY. IT IS A NECESSITY AND A GATEWAY TO POSSIBILITIES. When we give ourselves permission to be vulnerable and feel pleasure, we learn radical self-love and self-respect. We embody a presence that is energetic, empowering and magnetic.

Let us discover all the richness of our feminine nature, all the mystery and magic. As we reclaim our truth, freedom and true happiness, we can expand our radiance, share more of gifts of service to the world and create the intimacy and connection our souls desire.

July 2, 2020

Founder Jen Bugajsky Reviews “The Queen’s Code” by Allison Armstrong

I want to share something with you that was a valuable resource along my journey. There is a book by
Allison Armstrong entitled, “The Queen’s Code,” that I believe every woman should read. When I began
reading the book, I couldn’t put it down. It was like she was speaking directly to me. There is a point
early in the book where she asks you to STOP what you are doing and take a vow. She wants you to
acknowledge the impact that emasculating men has on your relationships. I have to be honest and
share that I needed to look up the word emasculate. While I resonated with what she said, I was looking
for more proof on what this word really meant. Webster states “depriving a man of his male identity,”
and goes on to read “making someone feel weaker or less than.”

OUCH! That doesn’t feel good!

If you are not willing to take the vow, then she recommends that you stop reading the book. It was very
powerful. I vowed at that point I would never consciously emasculate a man again and would learn how
to be a better person. However, it is one thing to make the intention and another thing to follow
through on it. When you have subconsciously been emasculating men all your life, how do you just shut
it off? I want to still be a strong, confident and powerful woman and not let a man control me. Nobody
wants to be a push over, right?

I discovered this book about 3 years ago after my marriage had blown up. I journaled about the many
times I likely emasculated my husband. Realizing I had done this was a hard pill to swallow. No wonder
he didn’t feel like a man. No wonder he didn’t desire me anymore. I made him feel like shit! I didn’t
respect him or make him feel like a man. I remember a point in my marriage when my ex said something
to me like, “Can you let me have one last thing that allows me to keep my dignity? I don’t feel like a man
in any sense of the word.”

I am not here to male bash, but I am sure that many of you could be in relationship where you want the
man in your relationship to “man-up.” You want him to do things differently. You want him to meet your
needs. You want him to do more around the house. You want him to do more for the family. Well the
way I spoke to him certainly was not making things any better; in fact, my comments and the way I
showed up made things even worse.

The damage to our relationship had been done. Our marriage was over, but it doesn’t have to be that
way for every couple. If you are aware that you might be emasculating your man and are willing to learn
how you can shift your energy, you can help change things in your relationship. At The Freedom Keys,
we can help teach you how you can do that. It doesn’t happen overnight, but it is well worth the time
and energy you put into healing. Whether it is for your current relationship or for the benefit of your
future relationship, exploring healthy relationships and healthy sexuality will help you have more
abundance in all aspects of your life.

July 2, 2020

The 4 Ways You May Be Emasculating Men

As we explore letting go of control, let us take a deeper dive into why we might emasculate men in the
first place. Last month we discussed how women need to feel loved in order to respect a man and on
the flip side, a man needs to feel respected in order to love and desire a woman. It feels like a vicious
cycle. If you are not feeling the type of connection and intimacy you desire from your man, you are likely
emasculating your man without knowing it.

When I first started exploring this idea it made sense conceptually; however, I wanted to learn more. I
wanted to know what things I was saying and doing that were emasculating to men. Where was I
criticizing and putting a man down as opposed to encouraging him and lifting him up. We know it’s
important to honor and respect our husbands, but what we don’t realize are the little things. The little
jabs and hooks we throw that no one talks about that are the culprits.

I want you to think about the following questions…

– Are you a strong, confident, independent woman who feels disconnected with your partner?
– Do You feel frustrated your partner isn’t meeting your needs?
– Do You struggle with communicating with your partner and feel he doesn’t hear you?
– Does he shut down and refuse to open-up to you?
– Do you end up feeling like you need to do everything yourself and question if he even finds you
attractive or desirable?

If you answered YES to any of these questions you are likely thinking, “Are you a fly on my wall?!” It is
likely that you are emasculating your man and don’t realize it. One of the keys to creating deeper
intimacy and connection with a man is to understand men and the polarity between men and women. If
you show up in a controlling, demanding or pressured way, you will not get the results you desire, and
you will push your man away. The key to igniting intimacy with your man is to own your sexuality,
surrender control and show up in your essence as a woman.

We must learn to be a strong, confident, whole women, but not at the expense of crushing our men.
The key is to stop emasculating men and provide more respect and appreciation. We must show up
differently to our relationships. When we correct these habits as women, the vicious cycle of love vs.
respect stops and the desire and connection between you and your partner can re-ignite.
There are four ways that we emasculate men without realizing it. Trust me some of these things are so
simple that we don’t even realize we are doing it, because we have been behaving this way all of our
lives. Our female role models have done these things too without realizing how it impacts our
relationships with men. I have created a resource that educates women on the four ways that we
emasculate men. If you are interested in learning more, I encourage you to sign up for my monthly
online membership and this month you will receive the resource “How to Stop Crushing the Man.”

Learn more by visiting our services page or contacting jen@thfreedomkeys.com.

July 2, 2020

Control and the Emasculation of Men

Last month we talked about Celebrating Masculinity and the impact that male relationships have had in
our lives and how we understand sexuality. This month we are going to dig a bit deeper. So many of us
want the type of romantic relationships we saw growing up as kids in fairy tales. The relationship where
we are swept off our feet, fall madly in love, and live happily ever after. Or as an adult, we crave the
deep intimacy we see on the Hallmark channel or in romantic movies where we feel the hot passion and
intense desire with the “man of our dreams.”

The truth is we desire connection and intimacy at our core. We have this hunger to be cherished,
treasured, loved and desired by a man. However, we don’t realize how embracing our sexuality, or not
embracing our sexuality, has a direct impact on whether we can achieve this deep intimate experience
we so desperately crave.

Do you want to know the #1 biggest thing that gets in the way of the intimacy we so crave? Control.
Our society has traditionally labeled character traits for boys and girls, and encouraged us as parents to
teach our kids what it means to be a “good girl” or “good boy.” However, the feminist movement has
inspired many women to change that mentality; stepping up to be strong, independent successful
women. We have been told we can do anything a boy can do, and at the same time, we have become
“too controlling” in our ways. With the desire to be strong, independent and confident, many women
have subconsciously put up blocks creating a false, inauthentic version of themselves without realizing
it.

I am not suggesting that women should not be strong and independent, they absolutely should.
However, I believe we have swayed too much to one side. It is not always about WHAT WE DO OR SAY,
it’s about HOW WE SHOW UP. In our efforts to DO MORE or overcome oppression in some ways, we
have lost a piece of ourselves.

When we are young and first in love, we show up different. We feel alive, passionate and on fire. There
is attraction, polarity and connection, which is a natural part of being a woman. As time goes on, this
attraction and connection can fade. With day to day life responsibilities, couples can tend to take each
other for granted and the spark that was once there seems to have diminished. Women are so busy
doing life that we just go through the motions at times. We become numb. There is no time for sex or
pleasure. It is more important to take care of our family, house, church, business or community. Women
are working themselves too hard striving to be successful, trying to keep it together and focusing on
serving and pleasing others rather than surrendering into the truest expression of themselves.
Women show up with an energy of having to DO IT ALL. We take it upon ourselves to be in control and
have forgotten how to surrender and let go. The truth is, in trying to maintain that control we end up
emasculating men more often than we realize. This need for control kills the connection with that
partner and “desire” in our relationships (as well as our orgasm). As a result, so many women live with
this feeling that SOMETHING IS MISSING, yet can’t put their finger on it. We don’t realize what is
underneath this hunger we so desperately crave. We are so busy focusing on our responsibilities that we
forget this deep hunger inside. We ignore it and show up in a way that emasculates rather than creates
connection with our partner.

When a woman learns to give up control and surrenders to the divine nature within her soul, she is filled
with more love and passion than she could have ever imagined. It is no longer about control,
responsibility or getting things done. She tunes into the essence of herself and feels with her body,
instead of thinks with her mind. When she learns how to respond versus react, and shows up with honor
and respect for her partner, she creates the connection and intimacy she so desperately desires.

May 26, 2020

Celebrating Masculinity: Honoring our Relationships with Fathers, Brothers, Husbands and Sons

Last month we talked about Motherhood and Sexuality and how important it is to value your role as a woman, and not just a mom. This month in honor of Father’s Day we want to celebrate masculinity and the roles men play in our lives. Growing up we have both female and male influences in our lives who teach us directly and indirectly how to relate to others. Many people have grandfathers, brothers, uncles, cousins, teachers or coaches who have had a significant impact in shaping our lives. There are some people that may have had a greater influence on us than others, but the first male influence for most women is usually our dad.

Men can be complicated, just like women can. Sometimes they love and support us unconditionally and other times not so much. Ask anyone about their relationship with their dad or their husband and you may open a can of worms. Why is that? Because dads and husbands are human beings. They are not perfect. They didn’t get a rulebook on how to be a “Good Dad” or a “Good Husband” just like we didn’t get the rulebook on how to be a “Good Mom” or a “Good Wife.” One thing my dad used to always say to me is, “Jen…I do the best with what I know and as I grow and learn, I become a better man.” He would always continue to teach me new things as he became older and wiser.

Each one of us has different memories about the men in our lives. Some are happy positive memories that you treasure for a lifetime, while there are other memories that might not be so happy yet stick with us. Both types of examples create imprints in our life experience to help shape who we become. In addition, our dad’s directly and indirectly show us how to relate to others, especially when it comes to other men in our life. The way men treat their wives is the example they provide of how they believe a woman should be treated. Some men are great examples of how to treat women, whereas others are great examples of how not to treat a woman. Either way, each example is a lesson for us in how to relate to the men in our lives and develop happy, healthy relationships.

In the day to day grind, it’s so easy to talk about the things that drive us crazy about our dad’s, husband’s or any other man in life. Why is that? Let’s face it ladies, the real reason many do this is because as women we want things to be perfect. We want the perfect wedding, the perfect husband, the perfectly behaved child, the perfect house, the perfect birthday party etc… The list goes on. We so badly want things to be “right” and many times when things don’t go our definition of “right” we criticize, we put down, or we emasculate the men in our lives out of frustration. If no one taught us how to appreciate, love and respect the men in our lives, then how would we know how to do this? Men thrive when they feel honored, appreciated and respected. Just like you would!

What I have realized is that while I have many fond memories and lessons from the men in my life, sometimes my greatest lessons are the ones that came from the “not so good” experiences. The ones that were blessings in disguise wrapped in unexpected wrapping paper. Let’s take time this month to celebrate the men in our lives. The good, the bad and the ugly.