July 23, 2020

Defining Pleasure

When I started focusing on pleasure, my first thought was what are people going to think? I was raised as a good catholic girl, how could I be exploring, let alone encouraging other women to open to the possibilities of what focusing on pleasure could do for their lives, relationships and careers? Don’t get me wrong I do enjoy life, but I’m a busy working mom always on the go living a life filled with passion and purpose and can easily get caught up in all the work to get done, whether it’s participating in church activities, raising my family or building and running my business.

You might say, Jen, I do take time to enjoy my life. I take time for me regularly. I enjoy spending time with my kids, connecting with friends and make date nights. We also take regular vacations. If this is true for you, I applaud your efforts; however, I encourage you to consider your experience with TRULY FEELING pleasure. Pleasure is a delightful sensation we allow ourselves to feel when our attention and energy is FULLY IN OUR BODY.
Pleasure is different from fun (being playful) or joy (a state of inner peace), as it ALLOWS OUR BODIES TO FEEL. When we deny ourselves pleasure, we end up creating physical and emotional pain. Pleasure can be felt through all of our senses. Rediscovering our ability to feel enables us to express our true self which includes experiencing pure enjoyment as well releasing negative or stagnant energies that are no longer serving us.

When we embody ourselves, we awaken the feminine energy and radiance inside of us. We become, healed, whole and healthy. We discover how to reclaim our power and begin to honor and appreciate our body as a temple.

I want you to be curious! What if PLEASURE was the answer?

• WHAT IF you could experience more pleasure in your life with no judgment?
• WHAT IF experiencing pleasure allowed you to discover your purpose?
• WHAT IF owning your pleasure is the key to you discovering your authentic self?
• WHAT would happen IF you gave yourself permission to nurture yourself as a woman?
• WHAT would happen IF you got in touch with your true feminine nature?
• WHAT IF feeling pleasure opened doors of opportunity that you never knew existed?
• WHAT IF experiencing pleasure was the key to creating more intimate relationships?

PLEASURE IS NOT A LUXURY. IT IS A NECESSITY AND A GATEWAY TO POSSIBILITIES. When we give ourselves permission to be vulnerable and feel pleasure, we learn radical self-love and self-respect. We embody a presence that is energetic, empowering and magnetic.

Let us discover all the richness of our feminine nature, all the mystery and magic. As we reclaim our truth, freedom and true happiness, we can expand our radiance, share more of gifts of service to the world and create the intimacy and connection our souls desire.

July 2, 2020

Founder Jen Bugajsky Reviews “The Queen’s Code” by Allison Armstrong

I want to share something with you that was a valuable resource along my journey. There is a book by
Allison Armstrong entitled, “The Queen’s Code,” that I believe every woman should read. When I began
reading the book, I couldn’t put it down. It was like she was speaking directly to me. There is a point
early in the book where she asks you to STOP what you are doing and take a vow. She wants you to
acknowledge the impact that emasculating men has on your relationships. I have to be honest and
share that I needed to look up the word emasculate. While I resonated with what she said, I was looking
for more proof on what this word really meant. Webster states “depriving a man of his male identity,”
and goes on to read “making someone feel weaker or less than.”

OUCH! That doesn’t feel good!

If you are not willing to take the vow, then she recommends that you stop reading the book. It was very
powerful. I vowed at that point I would never consciously emasculate a man again and would learn how
to be a better person. However, it is one thing to make the intention and another thing to follow
through on it. When you have subconsciously been emasculating men all your life, how do you just shut
it off? I want to still be a strong, confident and powerful woman and not let a man control me. Nobody
wants to be a push over, right?

I discovered this book about 3 years ago after my marriage had blown up. I journaled about the many
times I likely emasculated my husband. Realizing I had done this was a hard pill to swallow. No wonder
he didn’t feel like a man. No wonder he didn’t desire me anymore. I made him feel like shit! I didn’t
respect him or make him feel like a man. I remember a point in my marriage when my ex said something
to me like, “Can you let me have one last thing that allows me to keep my dignity? I don’t feel like a man
in any sense of the word.”

I am not here to male bash, but I am sure that many of you could be in relationship where you want the
man in your relationship to “man-up.” You want him to do things differently. You want him to meet your
needs. You want him to do more around the house. You want him to do more for the family. Well the
way I spoke to him certainly was not making things any better; in fact, my comments and the way I
showed up made things even worse.

The damage to our relationship had been done. Our marriage was over, but it doesn’t have to be that
way for every couple. If you are aware that you might be emasculating your man and are willing to learn
how you can shift your energy, you can help change things in your relationship. At The Freedom Keys,
we can help teach you how you can do that. It doesn’t happen overnight, but it is well worth the time
and energy you put into healing. Whether it is for your current relationship or for the benefit of your
future relationship, exploring healthy relationships and healthy sexuality will help you have more
abundance in all aspects of your life.

July 2, 2020

The 4 Ways You May Be Emasculating Men

As we explore letting go of control, let us take a deeper dive into why we might emasculate men in the
first place. Last month we discussed how women need to feel loved in order to respect a man and on
the flip side, a man needs to feel respected in order to love and desire a woman. It feels like a vicious
cycle. If you are not feeling the type of connection and intimacy you desire from your man, you are likely
emasculating your man without knowing it.

When I first started exploring this idea it made sense conceptually; however, I wanted to learn more. I
wanted to know what things I was saying and doing that were emasculating to men. Where was I
criticizing and putting a man down as opposed to encouraging him and lifting him up. We know it’s
important to honor and respect our husbands, but what we don’t realize are the little things. The little
jabs and hooks we throw that no one talks about that are the culprits.

I want you to think about the following questions…

– Are you a strong, confident, independent woman who feels disconnected with your partner?
– Do You feel frustrated your partner isn’t meeting your needs?
– Do You struggle with communicating with your partner and feel he doesn’t hear you?
– Does he shut down and refuse to open-up to you?
– Do you end up feeling like you need to do everything yourself and question if he even finds you
attractive or desirable?

If you answered YES to any of these questions you are likely thinking, “Are you a fly on my wall?!” It is
likely that you are emasculating your man and don’t realize it. One of the keys to creating deeper
intimacy and connection with a man is to understand men and the polarity between men and women. If
you show up in a controlling, demanding or pressured way, you will not get the results you desire, and
you will push your man away. The key to igniting intimacy with your man is to own your sexuality,
surrender control and show up in your essence as a woman.

We must learn to be a strong, confident, whole women, but not at the expense of crushing our men.
The key is to stop emasculating men and provide more respect and appreciation. We must show up
differently to our relationships. When we correct these habits as women, the vicious cycle of love vs.
respect stops and the desire and connection between you and your partner can re-ignite.
There are four ways that we emasculate men without realizing it. Trust me some of these things are so
simple that we don’t even realize we are doing it, because we have been behaving this way all of our
lives. Our female role models have done these things too without realizing how it impacts our
relationships with men. I have created a resource that educates women on the four ways that we
emasculate men. If you are interested in learning more, I encourage you to sign up for my monthly
online membership and this month you will receive the resource “How to Stop Crushing the Man.”

Learn more by visiting our services page or contacting jen@thfreedomkeys.com.

July 2, 2020

Control and the Emasculation of Men

Last month we talked about Celebrating Masculinity and the impact that male relationships have had in
our lives and how we understand sexuality. This month we are going to dig a bit deeper. So many of us
want the type of romantic relationships we saw growing up as kids in fairy tales. The relationship where
we are swept off our feet, fall madly in love, and live happily ever after. Or as an adult, we crave the
deep intimacy we see on the Hallmark channel or in romantic movies where we feel the hot passion and
intense desire with the “man of our dreams.”

The truth is we desire connection and intimacy at our core. We have this hunger to be cherished,
treasured, loved and desired by a man. However, we don’t realize how embracing our sexuality, or not
embracing our sexuality, has a direct impact on whether we can achieve this deep intimate experience
we so desperately crave.

Do you want to know the #1 biggest thing that gets in the way of the intimacy we so crave? Control.
Our society has traditionally labeled character traits for boys and girls, and encouraged us as parents to
teach our kids what it means to be a “good girl” or “good boy.” However, the feminist movement has
inspired many women to change that mentality; stepping up to be strong, independent successful
women. We have been told we can do anything a boy can do, and at the same time, we have become
“too controlling” in our ways. With the desire to be strong, independent and confident, many women
have subconsciously put up blocks creating a false, inauthentic version of themselves without realizing
it.

I am not suggesting that women should not be strong and independent, they absolutely should.
However, I believe we have swayed too much to one side. It is not always about WHAT WE DO OR SAY,
it’s about HOW WE SHOW UP. In our efforts to DO MORE or overcome oppression in some ways, we
have lost a piece of ourselves.

When we are young and first in love, we show up different. We feel alive, passionate and on fire. There
is attraction, polarity and connection, which is a natural part of being a woman. As time goes on, this
attraction and connection can fade. With day to day life responsibilities, couples can tend to take each
other for granted and the spark that was once there seems to have diminished. Women are so busy
doing life that we just go through the motions at times. We become numb. There is no time for sex or
pleasure. It is more important to take care of our family, house, church, business or community. Women
are working themselves too hard striving to be successful, trying to keep it together and focusing on
serving and pleasing others rather than surrendering into the truest expression of themselves.
Women show up with an energy of having to DO IT ALL. We take it upon ourselves to be in control and
have forgotten how to surrender and let go. The truth is, in trying to maintain that control we end up
emasculating men more often than we realize. This need for control kills the connection with that
partner and “desire” in our relationships (as well as our orgasm). As a result, so many women live with
this feeling that SOMETHING IS MISSING, yet can’t put their finger on it. We don’t realize what is
underneath this hunger we so desperately crave. We are so busy focusing on our responsibilities that we
forget this deep hunger inside. We ignore it and show up in a way that emasculates rather than creates
connection with our partner.

When a woman learns to give up control and surrenders to the divine nature within her soul, she is filled
with more love and passion than she could have ever imagined. It is no longer about control,
responsibility or getting things done. She tunes into the essence of herself and feels with her body,
instead of thinks with her mind. When she learns how to respond versus react, and shows up with honor
and respect for her partner, she creates the connection and intimacy she so desperately desires.