January 23, 2017

What are Three Little Words that Hurt Our Self Care Practices?

You hear phrases like, nurture yourself, self-care, take time for you, etc… You know self-care is important, but if you are overwhelmed like I was, you almost don’t know where to begin.  You know that something feels off.  You know that you have this burning desire for something more.  You know that in your gut that something is missing, BUT where do you even begin?  Will anyone even care if I start taking time out for me?  Will anyone even notice?  Will one small act REALLY make a difference?  You will be surprised at how little things can make a big difference.  The first step though is really looking at what you care about.

Do you REALLY care about how you look?
Do you REALLY care about how you are perceived?
Do you REALLY care about being put together?
Do you REALLY care that your house is messy or clean?

What we think to ourselves about ourselves REALLY does matter.  If we even think to ourselves that things really don’t matter, then we will continue to bring it on.  For what we think about, we bring about. I can remember as a little girl thinking that certain things didn’t really matter to me.  I didn’t care.

lovecarebodyThe 3 little words that hurt our self-care practice is “I DON’T CARE” or Nobody Cares!

How often you find yourself saying the words “I don’t care”.   If we look at this more closely, that means “SELF DOESN’T CARE”.  WOW.  We know our words are powerful, but when you continue to repeat the phrase I don’t care, you might not realize how often you are bringing “not caring” into your life.

Three years ago my word of the year was NURTURE.  I focused on self-care from a variety of different angles.   I began to take time for me.  I began to meditate, rest, eat better, focus on spiritual, mental and emotional aspects of self, however I forgot one piece “the physical”.  I let it go.I started off the year focusing on nurturing me, and then life and business got in the way.  I didn’t spend as much time on self- care.  I also didn’t realize that I was sabotaging myself by consistently using the words nobody cares.

I would find myself constantly saying, nobody cares around here.   Nobody gives a shit.  Does that sound familiar?  WOW!   Since my word of the year was NURTURE, the Universe was pushing things into my life to remind myself that my intention was to NURTURE myself.  So when I wasn’t in alignment with my intention, the energy of the Universe sent messages my way to remind me of how I wanted to be and also sent me “not caring” messages, because I was actually inadvertently asking for them.

Self-care is MORE than taking time for you.  Some people begin with eating healthier and exercising.  These are both great places to start, however, SELF-CARE is BIGGER than that.  It is paying attention to the words we choose and where we give our power away.   Whenever you say, I don’t know or I don’t care, you are giving your power away and in fact, asking for nobody to care.  The next time you find yourself saying those words, take a pause and really think about what you REALLY want in that situation.  I bet your will find new opportunities for you.

January 16, 2017

The Last Time

You never know the last time that your child might do something cute.  Especially if you have multiple kids.  The first time a child walks, talks, or has a milestone, we tend to take a lot of time and energy ogling over the experience.  The more kids you have, sometimes the less we remember to capture those moments, but you never know the last time you will witness their childlike glee in things that they enjoy.

I have 4 boys ranging from the ages of 17 to 7.  This year my son started to question me about the real Santa Claus.  I saw a post on facebook on how a family shared the news with their children about Santa Claus and it sounded like an awesome tradition and way to share the news with them in a fun way. I tried to explain to him one day that Santa wasn’t real and after our experience it didn’t work. He said, are we going to see the real santa now.

The evening of x-mas was absolutely amazing.  I saw the excitement on his face as we gathered the carrots for the reindeer and put out the milk and cookies for Santa.  It all had to be perfectly placed. I could see his eyes beaming from ear to ear. Then the following morning I got to see him run down the stairs and look at the tree.  He was so excited. His expression was priceless as I basked in the glow of witnessing and remembering this experience forever

Then the worst of all things happened.  Andy’s present decided to not arrive in the mail.  So I had to scramble and find a new gift for him  When he opened his gift he did not seem excited.  He also made a comment about seeing some of the wrapping paper in my office for one of the gifts. He was very quiet that day.

A couple weeks later he whispered to me.  My shoes weren’t from Santa you know., they were from you and Danny.  I don’t think there really is a Santa. My heart broke.   I tried to have the conversation with him so that he wouldn’t find out and be disappointed like he was. However, there is a part of me that is glad that I was able to witness his childlike joy and curiosity one last time.  If he knew Santa wasn’t real then I would not have this last experience of his childlike wonder.

You never know the last time you might experience a special moment with someone, so treasure every moment to its fullest.

last time

January 5, 2017

Has any one told you to stop playing the victim?

This past week I had two opportunities show up in my life that really tested me.  My family has been looking for a dog and it seemed like everything was falling into place with grace and ease.  I was excited and nervous at the same time.  I kept praying and asking for guidance on what we should do.  While I was a bit nervous, I decided to take the leap and follow the signs I kept getting from spirit.  On Friday this week, I received a message that the family decided to keep the dog.

Of course my heart broke hearing the news that was not expected.  My first reaction was, “Really God?  Why?  I thought all signs were leading in this direction and now things shifted.  What did I miss?”  I started blaming, getting angry at God and questioning all that had transpired.

My coach saw a post of mine and said “STOP PLAYING THE VICTIM”.  There is something better out there and God knows what the best answer is for your family.  He rearranged this for a reason.  Look for the evidence and expect that something is coming. Many other people provided thoughtful encouraging words, which was great.  But what really caught me in my tracks was “STOP PLAYING THE VICTIM JEN”.  Many people might not like hearing those words.  I didn’t like hearing it, but I GOT THE LESSON.  I loved all of the other supporting encouraging words from people, which was SUPER NICE.  Those messages didn’t get to the CORE of the issue at hand.  I was sulking.  I was playing small.  I was blaming God.  Really? What good is that going to do?

I had another instance happen with a very dear friend where I wanted something, but wasn’t clear on what I was asking for and when I didn’t get the response I was looking for, I shut down. I was already in a “bad place” emotionally and I PLAYED VICTIM AGAIN.  She didn’t tell me I was playing the victim, but was DIRECT and HONEST with her feelings and put me in my place.  I felt terrible and never meant any harm by what I said.  Subconsciously I was trying to get a reaction by not being honest with my own feelings.

This is what stepping into and claiming your power is all about.  LEAVING VICTIM MENTALITY BEHIND, no matter what the issue.  It could be as small as not getting the answer you were expecting to experiencing a death in the family.  There is a series of feelings that need to be felt, however, if you are not honest with yourself and others you pave the way for conflict and victim mentality in your relationships.

victimHow many times are people not really honest with you about how they feel for fear of hurting your feelings? Being nice doesn’t support your higher good.

Did I like hearing the feedback I got? NOPE.
Did I learn from it? YES
Will I be more cautious next time? YOU BET!

I intend to be OPEN, HONEST and DIRECT in my communications with people.  I also will keep up my enthusiasm and see the beauty and gift in every circumstance.  I will not let myself wallow in my own pain, but rather lift myself up and out.  I KNOW and BELIEVE that God is directly my life.  It won’t always look like a straight line, but if I continue to have faith, look for the evidence and expect bigger and better things, then something better will come around.

“Playing the victim only blinds you to your own flaws so you can never improve yourself.   Self pity is the easiest way to create unilateral misery”

January 3, 2017

Shift Your Energy Around Abundance

How do you feel about money and abundance? We all have a story around money, and it’s important to dive into it deeper. I attended a networking event once and the presentation was around understanding your perspectives around money and abundance and the story that many people have created for themselves.

It started with a quote from Albert Einstein: “Everything is energy and that is all there is to it, match the frequency of the reality you want and you can’t help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.”

The speaker then described the functioning of the brain and how we train and wire the brain into patterns that are repeated over and over. If we want to make a change, we need to consciously retrain and wire the brain, just like a new habit. This is true for money and abundance, too.

Here are 3 steps to help you get clear about your relationship with money and abundance…

Step #1 – Discover your money story – Do you recall any of these comments in your life? Money doesn’t grow on trees, we can’t afford that, I don’t need to spend the money on X… These types of thoughts have become part of the story we defined for ourselves around money and abundance. God wants abundance for us. He wants to do great things for us in this world. Many of us hold on to these “stories” which in essence create negative energies around abundance. We need to believe that we are WORTHY of abundance. However, if we don’t believe and have faith, then we close our minds to the possibilities of what could be.

Step #2 – Operation Affirmation – We need to put good thoughts and energy into our lives. They say what comes around goes around. If you put out negative energy, then that is what you get back. If we are constantly saying I can’t afford that, or complaining about something, then those are the things we attract to ourselves. If you generate good prosperous thoughts, then positive energy is what you get back. When trying to think about abundance in any area of life, it is important to focus on an intention and positive affirmation. Here was an example: “I easily and effortlessly accept money and abundance into my life in expected and unexpected ways.” This doesn’t mean you are going to win the lottery and become a millionaire, but it opens up the pathway for abundance to flow through to you in however God or the Universe chooses to provide.

Step #3 – Promise to Self – Consistent intention to be deliberate and diligent is important. It’s one thing to say we want something and another thing to REALLY want it. How many people say, “I want to lose weight,” and don’t. It is one’s belief and then the actions that follow the belief that lead to the outcome. If you truly BELIEVE it will happen, then live as if you are where you want to be and the written or spoken words will begin to manifest.

I challenge you to think about your own personal beliefs and story around money and abundance. I truly believe that the universe and all living things are made of energy. Energy surrounds us and helps to create our futures. I have personally seen a variety of examples on how BELIEVING and having FAITH enables amazing things to happen.

Use these steps to help you get clear about your money and abundance stories, then shift your energy so that you can create the life that you want.