I felt called to share a recent happening in my home in hope that it might inspire or help someone else. One of my boys was recently caught stealing.  I was so mad and angry at him for stealing and lying that I reached out for help. My initial thought was that he needed some kind of counseling, why would he behave like this? Seriously what would people think if they knew?  However, as a talked with a few people close to me I realized this was more common than I had thought & that I had a stigma in my mind about it. One friend suggested that I take a look at Byron Katie’s The Work.

shutterstock_95054827She has an activity call “Judge Your Neighbor”, where you take a situation and basically turn it back around on your self. I decided to give it a shot and allowed myself space to get into the heart of the lesson for me in this whole situation. It had such a profound effect, I wanted to share the results of the activity AND what happened afterward.

HOW I FELT ABOUT MY SON: I am mad at my son for being irresponsible. I am mad at him for stealing and taking from other people. I am mad at him for lying about it. I am mad that he doesn’t respect and understand the value of money.

THE TURNAROUND TO ME: I forgive myself for believing I am not responsible with money. I forgive myself for not teaching my children the value of money. I forgive myself for not teaching my children how to earn money and giving them whatever they want. I forgive myself for being selfish and not taking a leap to share my message more broadly in service of others. I forgive myself for not teaching my children the value of service & the exchange of giving & receiving (love, money etc…).

I forgive myself for believing in scarcity and that there is not enough money in the world. I forgive myself for not investing money in my boys and judging the things that I spend money on. I forgive myself for only spending money on things that I feel are worth investing in. I forgive myself for not valuing and investing in all of my boys equally.

WHAT I DESIRE FOR HIM: I would love for my son to become responsible. I would love for him to be responsible with money. I would love for him to learn how to give and receive. I would love for him to build his self-confidence and know that he is loved, whole and complete for who he is.  I would love for him to stop hiding behind excuses and find something he loves to do and do it.

Wow! What an amazing gift this challenge has brought to me and my family. Everything I desired for him, I could turn right back around and desire for myself.  What I initially thought was a tragic event that I had to deal with, has now become a blessing and the medicine that I needed to move into the next phase of my own journey.  What a gift, that I never would have expected.

I believe that when we ask God for something he provides, but many times we don’t listen.  Or we don’t like how he answers our prayers and we keep looking right past the answer. Sometimes when we pass by the answer too many times, he uses things to really get our attention. This one definitely caught my attention as there was a lesson for me here as well as my son.

I was able to see the lesson for me and shift some things on my end as opposed to just focusing on my son.  He ended up earning the money to pay the money back in additional to understanding the consequence of his actions.  What happened next though is an amazing shift in my sons attitude and energy towards me.  I felt the energy and connection between us shift in a way that I didn’t see possible before.

You see, when I let go of my judgement of him and his actions as well as the judgement on myself for my own feelings, he and I were able to connect at a different level in a place of love instead of fear.  We raised the vibration in our entire home.  So, the next time, someone (whether it be a colleague or a loved one) does something that triggers you or pisses you off and you want to blame them for what has happened, take a step back to reflect on the lesson that is meant for you in the situation.  You might have just received a beautiful unexpected gift or the answer to a prayer.

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