November 27, 2020

Awareness of The Fullest Expression of You

 

If you want to live as the fullest expression of WHO YOU ARE, then you need to learn how to experience being in your body. Whether you want a more intimate relationship with your partner, you want to fulfill your passion and purpose in life, or you want to make more money in your business and be of greater service in the world, the key to your growth and development is to first look at who you currently are, and second who you are becoming. You can only become the best, fully expressed version of yourself when you KNOW YOURSELF. You must know yourself in mind, body and spirit. When you SEE YOURSELF and FEEL YOURSELF, you can come to KNOW YOURSELF.

How do you come to live in the fullest expression of WHO YOU ARE?

I want to share with you a couple of different key tools you can use to assist you on your journey to becoming the most fully expressed version of YOU. The two I want to discuss are a photoshoot and dancing. Now I don’t mean just get your picture taken, although that can be fun too, but I want you to pay attention to the entire experience from start to finish. I get a lot of push back from so many women when it comes to getting their photo taken. They are the first ones to ensure a family photo is taken, but they themselves don’t want to be in the photo.

I want to share a story, where one day I was helping a photographer friend at a free local event. There were a variety of different vendors and he was giving away free headshots. Many women and their children walked through the doors of the building. They stopped to speak with us, however, what I noticed is that whenever a woman was asked if they wanted their picture taken, majority said NO! They were MORE THAN HAPPY to get photos of their kids taken and smiled with glee to see the happy looks on their children’s faces, however, when it came to them, it was like someone just died.  NO WAY JOSE!!!! This is not for me!!!

I heard things like…
… I don’t like my picture taken
… I didn’t do my hair today
… I don’t take good photos
… I never like how I look in pictures
… I am not dressed appropriately
… I need to lose 10 – 15 pounds first

Let’s take a deeper look at dancing. How many of you enjoy moving to the beat of the music when you hear one of your favorite songs, but feel awkward because you don’t think you are doing it right, or think you might look weird? You know music fuels your soul, but at the same time something stops you from embracing BEING ONE with the music. When I started taking dance lessons, many women loved hearing about my journey and said I would love to dance, BUT…

I heard things like…
… I can’t move like that
… I have 2 left feet
… I would need to lose 10 – 15 pounds
… I don’t like how I look
… I don’t want someone to watch me
… I would never look good in a dress like that

The truth is, many women tend to HATE one or more things about their body, which makes it difficult to want to get their photo taken or be seen dancing. These are 2 of the easiest ways you can begin to get to know yourself more intimately. They allow you to BE IN YOUR BODY where you can begin stepping into the fullest expression of you.

Don’t you wonder…

What if experiencing a photoshoot or dancing like no one is watching could be the catalyst to help you feel more comfortable being in your body? 
What if embodiment provided you insights into knowing yourself better as the amazing woman you are?
What if embodiment could propel you forward in your relationship and your business?

 

Ballroom Dancing
October 27, 2020

Stop Judging Yourself. What Do YOU Desire?

What do you REALLY desire? How many times do you have an idea or spark within you and ignore it? We all do this sometimes, but what happens when you say YES to your desires? I want to share an experience from my personal journey on saying YES to my desires. Or in this case, yes to the dress. (pun intended)

In 2019, I started taking ballroom dancing lessons and was excited to attend one of their dance competitions. I had watched Dancing with the Stars many times, and loved the show, so was curious as to what the experience would be like watching something similar in person.

When I walked in, I was mesmerized by the entire experience. Not only was I able to watch the dance competition, I was quickly drawn to a section in the back where there were hundreds of beautiful dresses. I curiously asked if I could try any on. Not only did I get to watch the competition, I got to play too. It was so much fun!!!

I tried on a handful of dresses but, when I put on this blue amazing sparkly dress, I just KNEW it was for me. It fit perfectly. It was like the dress was made just for me. I wanted to buy it. BUT… A part of me looked at the price tag and said OUCH!!!! Then my logical mind said things like, Yes, this is a pretty dress that looks great on me, but I had no intention of buying a dress today, do I really want to spend the money on it?

How many of you can relate to that question? You have a desire, you know you want it, but something inside of you holds you back from saying yes! There are questions running in your mind like….

• Is it worth the investment?
• Do I really need the thing that I want?
• Would this be an impulsive purchase that is not worth the money?
• How would I pay for it? It’s not like I have the money to pay for it out right.
• I could use the money for so many other things, do I really want to spend it on this?

I went through all the same thoughts and feelings. Along my journey, I have realized how important it is to say YES to my desires when I really want something. When I first started taking dance lessons, I remembered envisioning myself participating in a competition one day. And here I was trying on a dress that felt like the Universe sent it to me. Who was I to deny myself this beautiful dress that showed up for me?

I listened to my heart’s desire and didn’t care how much it was. I would figure it out. I put the dress on. I felt amazing in it. I even remember looking down and noticing a sexy slit down my right thigh and in that moment, I just knew I was meant to say YES! It felt like me saying yes to my TRUTH. I was saying yes to my own value and worth as a woman.

What is something you have always wanted to do or buy for YOU? I encourage you to feel into your desire before saying NO or making up excuses as to why you don’t need it. You deserve to have all that you desire!

Meditation
October 27, 2020

Truly Experience Life … A Body Loving Bucket List!

When we stop looking for proof outside of ourselves, we can do the only thing that is left, get to know ourselves and our bodies. To experience life and have some fun!!! Who are you? What do you enjoy? What do you do for fun? Do you allow yourself time to play? Do you experience life” Or do you sit on the sidelines and watch things happen for other people, wondering when things are going to shift for you?

Let’s talk about some specific ways you can begin to tune into your body so that you can not only experience more of life’s adventures, but that you can connect with your body, your spirit and your desires. When you are in your body you can make decisions that FEEL GOOD TO YOU. You are no longer making decisions from the voices outside of yourself, you are making the choice from WITHIN your soul.

A dear friend of mine once said to me, “Jen if it feels good, do it. If it doesn’t feel good, then don’t.” It was so simple, wasn’t it? So many of us are numb to our bodies and our desires, that we have a hard time deciphering what really feels good to us. We can’t tell which voice to listen to, but when you get present and learn to connect with your body and experience life, you are able to begin raising your vibration and manifesting what you desire in your life.

Let’s take a quick peak on some things that you can do to be IN YOUR BODY. This is just a small list, but it’s a place to get started. This activity is not about using your mind, it is about doing something where you can be in your body. This list is about being playful, enjoying life and having FUN, not because someone else wants to do it, but because it brings YOU joy and pleasure.

– Take a singing lesson, sing karaoke or sing in the kitchen
– Go dancing (you can take private lessons or just dance for fun at a local spot)
– Have your picture take or take your own pictures
– Go to a yoga, pilates or meditation class
– Working out
– Go on a roller coaster
– Traveling, go on a trip
– Walking in nature, especially by the trees, mountains or the ocean
– Outdoor adventures (hiking, ziplining, the list is endless…)
– Gardening, planting flowers or growing your own fruits or veggies
– Enjoying cooking in the kitchen (rather than see it as a chore, enjoy it)
– Participating in sports. Too many to name, but play a good ole friendly game of basketball, baseball, volleyball football, hockey etc.
– Go camping and enjoy the outdoors
– Rent a canoe or kayak and enjoy being on the river
– Create your own fun… Have a picnic, create a trivia night

Take some time to identify if there something on the list you have wanted to try? Or start your own pleasure bucket list.

Meditation
October 27, 2020

Stop Looking for Proof Outside Yourself

Last month we talked about how transformation begins in the body, and this month I want to dive deeper into how we can experience more of what life has to offer as well as understand what can get in the way of us experiencing our desires. Sometimes we sit on the sidelines and wait for the perfect timing or the perfect answer and end up letting life pass us by rather than experience it. Let me share with you a couple of stories that bring a new perspective to what stops us from really being in our body and experiencing life.

In the book Red Hot and Holy, author Sera Beak talks about her personal spiritual journey. She had a PHD in philosophy, studied a variety of religions, and was looking for the proof somewhere on who had “the right answer” when it came to spirituality. She researched, studied, took courses, interviewed people and what she ended up realizing was, there is NO PROOF! Yep. You can’t find the truth, the perfect solution or the answer written anywhere. You must experience spirituality for yourself she found. It proved to be a very personal journey for each individual.

So what does experience “it” even mean? Experiencing it isn’t about getting another degree or waiting for things to show up in your life. It is about being in your body and living authentically through all the moments and emotions of life. Experiencing “it” means to allow yourself to be free to feel and embrace all that the world and your relationships can offer.

How many of us spend our lives trying to prove a point or prove someone else wrong? Or we do not want to take a risk because we can’t prove it is going to work? We need to surrender the ego and the need to know, and allow ourselves to feel what our heart is guiding us to do. This is true of all aspects of our lives. We all have societal, cultural, religious and familial belief structures that have been passed down that define our value and belief systems. We are taught that if it’s not in alignment with our belief system, then it is WRONG. It is hard to think that some things your faith or family taught you, are not really the truth. In fact, it is downright terrifying for many to think that.

Let me use my personal story as an example. I was taught that I had to always go to the bible to find PROOF of God’s message. There was a point in my journey where I questioned whether things showing up were from God or the Devil. Trust me when I say, I can understand if you feel the same way. I was raised in a devout Catholic family and my faith was the foundation of everything. If I listened to outside voices, I would get confused. Others would chastise me and tell me how wrong I was to think or believe new ideas showing up for me. There is one day I remember meeting two very lovely women and could feel their positive energy. Another woman approached me and told me to stay away from “those people”. Some faiths believe God warns us to stay away from psychic mediums because they are from the devil or a negative source. I remember going to the chapel to pray and asked for guidance. My thinking mind went home to research this PROOF in the bible for myself. I didn’t want to make the WRONG choice. A couple hours later a different friend of mine recommended that I meet with someone. It happened to be one of those ladies. I thank God for answering my prayers and it was in that moment, I KNEW to trust my heart and to STOP LOOKING for proof outside of myself. I didn’t need to find written proof anywhere and that God could answer my prayers in many different ways. I like to say that my “faith” or (belief system) held me back and yet my “faith” and (belief in a higher power) pulled me through.

As you see from my story, there is conflict here for many women. But what is important for women to understand is the need to know, the need to control our relationships and outcomes, may be what holds many of us back from true connection. This mindset issues will impact your romantic relationships. Do you ever find yourself looking for proof if your partner is “the one”? Or have you ever started a fight because your partner did not meet your expectations? Ever you ever felt like your intuition told you one thing, but logic, friends or family told you to doubt? This back and forth, looking for proof and approval outside of ourselves, may be the exact reason why we find certain types of relationships challenging.

September 27, 2020

Transformation Begins in the BODY Not the Mind

Have any of you tried manifestation practices, but got discouraged when things did not happen as you expected? You heard about the magic of the law of attraction and how you can create your own life and the relationship of your dreams. So, you dream big, set off rockets of desire hoping you will achieve your goals, attract the right partner, re-ignite the spark in your relationship, come into an abundance of money, but then it doesn’t happen. You get frustrated. You claimed what you want but are not physically seeing and experiencing things manifest like you desire. When this happens, there is a gap between WHAT you desire and how you FEEL about your desire.

Unfortunately, this experience happens to so many of us. We unintentionally create resistance that blocks us from manifesting what we truly desire. Like an emotional upper level limit problem. The hard truth is that you can’t just say affirmations and expect things to manifest.

The reason for this is simple…Most of us don’t really BELIEVE the statements we say. As a result, we are not able to raise our vibration to meet our desires.

Studies show our subconscious mind runs the show and drives 95% of what we create in our lives. Over the years, we have been programmed with a variety of beliefs. If those beliefs are running the show, no amount of positive affirmations alone will change those beliefs.

We must be open and ready to FEEL the vibration of our affirmations and beliefs not just THINK them. Thinking is in the MIND, but feeling is in the BODY. When we allow ourselves to be in tune with our body, we can shift our energy and begin to raise our vibration and FEEL into the belief of our desires. When you are connected to your body, you open the pathway to connect directly with source energy. If we are disconnected to our body, it becomes a struggle for us to FEEL that belief and conviction. This is where doubt sets in and gets in the way of what you truly desire. The challenge we have is that any sliver of doubt creates uncertainty and a lack mentality. This questioning disturbs our faith and belief that something will happen and keeps us in a resistance pattern.

So how can you raise your vibration so that you are in alignment with your desires?

You can’t THINK your way into it, you must FEEL your way into alignment. You can have faith and hope that something will happen, however the magic begins when you have the conviction of knowing something. You don’t need to prove it to anyone. It is a KNOWING deep in your core. You can feel it. Real transformation begins with the BODY, not the MIND. When you are tapped in, tuned in, turned on and connected with your body you
– FEEL the conviction and deep knowing
– Release resistance to shift your energy
– Raise your vibration to close the gap and meet your desire
– Experience the physical manifestation of your desire

June 2, 2017

The Opposite of Faith is Doubt

How often do you question yourself and wonder if you are making right decision?  You sometimes have great ideas but get stuck in analysis paralysis.  You don’t want to just jump into something.  You want to be sure that you are smart about this and make a strategic decision.

So you pause, and then think.
You create a pros and con list.
You analyze.

More doubts and questions start to creep in.
New worrisome thoughts enter your head
You analyze some more.

You seek advice and get thoughts from friends
Depending on who you talk with, you might have MORE questions
And then you end up in this vicious spinning cycle of over thinking and over analyzing.

Why do we do this to ourselves?  Our heart knows the answer, however, we don’t always listen to it.  We allow our mind to get involved.  We want to ensure we make the “right” decision.  We don’t want to look bad.  We don’t want to make a mistake, so we take more time than necessary to make decisions, or worse, we don’t make a decision at all.

What if rather than doubting, you trusted and had faith.  Mel Robbins talks about the 5 second rule.  We can do anything in 5 seconds, after 5 seconds we start to doubt.  What is your first thought?  Is it yes or no?

shutterstock_170589149

If it is not a hell yes, then it is a hell no

It is when we start to focus on the HOW’s that doubts start to creep in. When we try to control the outcome, we tend to create unneeded pressure on ourselves.   It is not our job to focus on the HOW, that is God’s job.  Our job is to create the vision and believe.  To ask for daily guidance on the next best actions to take. ,

The next time you have an important decision to make, don’t allow yourself a lot of time to make the decision.  Listen to your gut, decide and have faith in what you have chosen.

April 26, 2017

Should I Spend Money on That?

How many of you find yourself struggling with “SHOULD I SPEND MONEY ON THAT?

What have you been taught about money?  Have you been taught the following?:

Money is the root of all evil
Money is not that important, its just money
Money doesn’t grow on trees, it is a limited resource
You need to save for a rainy day
It is selfish to want a lot of money

These are just a few of the top money and abundance blocks out there. I have personally struggled with my thoughts and beliefs about money.  It is never something that I really focused on.  However, as I created intentional focus on my thoughts and beliefs about money, I have seen some shifts in my life.

Money is a representation of the value that you provide to others.  It is an exchange for goods or services rendered.  It’s all about defining the VALUE that is created by the exchange.

How often do you make decisions based on a lack or scarcity mentality as opposed to an abundance and and prosperity mentality?  Many times we don’t invest in ourselves, because we are afraid to spend the money.  Which is the exact opposite of what we really want.  We allow ourselves to punish or sabotage ourselves unknowingly by not being true to ourselves and our desires.

KayakI remember last summer I was reintroduced to my love of kayaking.  One day I decided to take two of my boys for a surprise and went to the Naperville Riverwalk so that we could rent a kayak and go on the water,   When I got there, I looked at the price of the paddleboat vs. the price of the kayak.  While I REALLY wanted to rent the kayak, it was like $25 MORE than the paddleboat.  So I stood there, and questioned myself.  WHAT SHOULD I DO?  WHAT SHOULD I SPEND MY MONEY ON?

I almost rented the paddleboat and then something in me said NO.  You came here to kayak, so spend the extra money and get the kayak.  That is the REAL EXPERIENCE you want to have.   There is value behind the experience of having your boys experience a kayak vs. the paddleboat.  Don’t sell yourself short.   I did choose to rent the kayaks and we had an AMAZING experience.  I felt so good about my decision and the experience we had.  If I wouldn’t have spent the money, I would have felt bad that I didn’t listen to myself and would have wondered what we might have missed out on, however in the past I have deprived myself or chosen NOT to do something and ended staying in my comfort zone.  This felt SO MUCH BETTER and because I was true to myself and in alignment with what I wanted, I started to see shifts with my kids.  That was reason enough to say yes to my own desires.

How many of us, stop in our tracks and don’t spend money on what we REALLY want, thinking another option might save us money.  Each situation and person is unique on what they define as valuable, however, what I learned about myself was that when I saw VALUE in something, I would invest the money on it, however, if I saw it as wasteful or not worth it, then I wouldn’t spend the money.

I encourage you to think about WHERE YOU SPEND OR INVEST YOUR MONEY.  Do you invest in things for yourself?  If NOT, I would encourage you to reflect on why you are not valuing yourself enough to invest money in yourself.   Things shift for us when we are willing and open to shift our thinking. What could happen IF YOU INVESTED IN YOURSELF TODAY?

April 12, 2017

LiveYour Truth and Stop the Worry of What Others Think

Today I am doing something a little bit different, as I bring a video blog to you.

I have been writing a weekly blog for the past 4 1/2 years and I know how busy we can all get in the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, that I have decided to introduce some video message and inspiration for you.  You can still get the same inspiration and wisdom and in addition you will get the opportunity to listen while driving in the car or getting ready in the morning.  You will also get the chance to see me and get to know me by experiencing me and my message as opposed to just reading about it.

I hope you enjoy and are still feeling inspired to unlock your presence power and potential.

March 22, 2017

Do you hold onto things that Paralyze you?

How many of us hold on to things that paralyze us?

Something happens and we spin in a cycle of anger, shame or humiliation and can’t seem to get ourselves out of it. The only way out is through. Accept what happened, feel the wave of emotions and then let them go. All emotions are portals to our next phase of learning and healing  It does us no good to complain about a situation or to wallow in our suffering or anxiety.  It’s also important to know that there are no good or bad feelings.   All feelings show up to teach us a lesson.  We must not label them and look for the gift that is available to us.

When we thank the situation for the gifts that it brings, we are able to feel in the moment, lean into the lesson, let go and move on…

If you are angry, maybe the lesson is trust yourself more.
If you are shameful, maybe the lesson is to have more courage and be enthusiastic about taking bold steps in your future..
If you feel humiliation, maybe the lesson is to claim more respect
If you are 

Releae let go

I had an experience last week that was absolutely humiliating.  It created so much anxiety in my body that I almost couldn’t function.  I kept reliving the experience and beating myself up.  When I realized what I was doing, I decided to give myself a timeout to take a nice hot bath.  I needed quiet time with myself to feel into what my body was trying to tell me.  I wasn’t going to get answers from anyone else.  People could tell me to let it go, you are worrying over nothing, but no words that anyone said were going to heal the pain.  I needed quiet time alone with me to go within and feel into the lessons that were right there in front of me.  There was SO MUCH healing that took place from this crazy incident that I am now super grateful for it.

How often do we create more anxiety for ourselves than we have to?  We spend countless hours, worrying, contemplating, hiding, being afraid, contracting and playing small.  At what cost? The time spent is NOT serving us.  We need to learn how to acknowledge and own what is going on, feel into the lesson and move on.  That is the only way through.

When we feel an emotion, it makes the experience of the opposite that much deeper. Maybe the situation you are going through is allowing you to experience deeper levels of Trust, Courage and Respect for yourself. How great is that!

Be grateful, feel the emotions and then let go.

March 8, 2017

Embrace Your Weirdness! What is Normal Anyway?

As millions of women gather in various places in honor of International Women’s day this week, I thought it was fitting to not only honor women who have stood up for many important causes as well as controversial topics over the years, but to also reflect upon what difference each one of us makes as a WOMAN.

Have you really ever thought about how BEING who you are not WHAT YOU DO, makes a difference in someone’s life? I encourage you to ACCEPT yourself for who you are.  No strings attached. Too many of us are focused on
1) seeking perfection (we want to be right and we don’t want to fail),
2) asking for permission (getting someone else’s approval) and
3) people pleasing, (or following the rules so we don’t hurt someone else’s feelings).

What would happen if you just showed up as who you are and did and said what felt good and in the moment.
… So what if you make a mistake and its not perfect
… So what if someone doesn’t like your idea, do you love it?  Go for it.
… So what if someone else misinterprets what you say or takes it personally

I myself have worried too much about what others will think of me.  If I say or do something that comes to mind, what will someone else think?  Is what I am doing or thinking NORMAL?
Weirdness2Many times we question, Is this “NORMAL”? We look for permission from others to see if what we are thinking or feeling is okay.  I many times catch myself saying things like “I’m just weird”, “Is that normal” or “I’m just crazy.”

What the heck is NORMAL anyway?!?!? Who defines what normal is? And if everyone were normal, what fun would that be? Where would the creativity and spontaneity be?

Why do we doubt ourselves and feel bad about what we think or feel? It could feel shameful, wrong, against the rules, or not approved by someone else. Why do we do this to ourselves?

I am done looking for normal
I am done trying to be normal
I am done trying to fit into someone else’s expectations of me
I am done looking for others to validate that what I think or feel is normal
I am done worrying about feeling weird or crazy, questioning if what I think or say is normal.

I know my truth and accept myself for who I am (weirdness and all). It takes courage to step up, claim your power, speak your truth and use your voice. Step into confidence, ask for what you really want and command the respect and credibility that you deserve. It all begins with accepting and claiming ALL OF YOU! Weird parts and all.

If every woman embraced her weirdness, we would see so many more creative, strategic, innovative ideas being born. There is no need for validation from others. Be who you are weird, crazy, quirks and all. It’s all good. In fact, those are likely the things that make you special and unique.

SO EMBRACE YOUR WEIRDNESS TODAY!