November 30, 2020

Inspired Beauty and The Experience of Witnessing

 

A photographer friend of mine used to do photoshoots of women and put on a gallery show every year named, Inspired Beauty. They were not “sexy” or boudoir photoshoots, but rather they focused on bringing out the beauty of a woman. He would see into a woman’s soul and allow her essence to be reflected through the photos taken. He could see the beauty in all women and felt his calling was to help women see the beauty inside of themselves. As we mentioned earlier, men can many times see more beauty in us than we see in ourselves, because we are so focused on comparing ourselves to societal standards. This photoshoot was a completely different experience than my first boudoir photoshoot. This was more than just feeling sexy and confident, this was about getting to know myself at a deeper level. It was almost like asking the question, “Who is Jen?” I want you to have a similar experience and dive into the depths of your truth and answer the question “Who are You?”

Many of the Inspired Beauty photos that were taken were captured of a woman not smiling. The goal wasn’t to put on a happy face. The goal was to allow a woman to see the beauty of herself and be in the moment. It felt more like an intimate experience of seeing into someone’s soul. It was not at all like taking photos for a branding shoot or a headshot. He captured amazing images of women that highlighted a woman’s essence of who she was. His work was POWERFUL. And those experiences were more than photoshoots for those women.

Photoshoots in general, are all amazing because the experience itself is an embodiment practice. It is an experience that puts you in a position of being in your body. The reality is, women have so much anxiety around picture taking like we discussed in a previous lesson. First is the anxiety around making the decision to say yes. Am I at the right body shape to do this? Once you make the decision to say yes, you question, what should I wear? After you plan your outfits, you may get nervous about having your hair, nails and make-up done. After all those decisions are made and tasks completed, you are left with being in the experience.  That’s right. When you are ready for the photoshoot, you get to then be the star of the show.  You not only get the opportunity to put on sexy clothes, but you also get the opportunity to be witnessed by someone. Not only are you nervous about how your pictures are going to look, you may also have anxiety about the fact that someone else can see how you are feeling in the moment. When you begin to let go of your anxiety and step into your expression as a woman and someone sees you doing that, it is extremely powerful. Yes, it can be scary and uncomfortable but after you had the experience, you can see how powerful it can be. To not only be in your power, but also have someone WITNESS you as well. If you allow it to be, it is what I would truly consider an intimate experience and connection with oneself. When you can feel at complete ease with yourself, you are experiencing a union and deep connection with Source energy.

 

Photo Credit Bob Briskey Photography

August 17, 2020

Understanding the “Turn On”

Did you know that being turned-on has more to do with an energetic connection than it does with physical touch alone? We have this false belief that turn-on needs to be “sexual” when there are SO many other things that can turn you on and light your fire that are just as powerful.

When women are craving more intimacy, passion and connection with their partner, I hear concerns like: the romance has died, we live like roommates, I have lost my libido or I don’t feel turned-on anymore. Let’s look at the definition of what it means to be “turned-on” for our answer.
Webster defines “Turn On” as: An activation or cause to flow, operate, or function by or as if by turning a control, or to move pleasurably.

When you turn on the lights, the room goes from dark to light. When you turn on the water faucet, the water goes from nothing to a continuous flow of water. Our energy is the same way. Being turned-on is feeling ALIVE and feeling the positive flow of energy throughout your entire body. A spark ignites and fuels you up on the inside and radiates outward to others. When you are turned-on, people feel the difference in your energy and want to be around you.

When you tune into yourself, into the frequency that fuels your fire, you feel energized and alive. Abraham Hicks, an inspirational speaker and author, regularly talks about being “in the vortex.” She shares inspiring stories and wisdom on how to get tuned in, tapped in and turned on with life. According to Hicks, when you are “turned-on” you are in the flow of life and attract to you the things you desire.

Turn-on can be a physical sensation however it doesn’t have to be. Sometimes we believe that we need a man to be turned-on, because we know how good it feels when we feel turned-on in his presence. The truth is you don’t need a man to find your turn on. If you can find your turn-on without a man, imagine how exciting it can be when you bring your aliveness to meet him. The fireworks that will fly. When you experience the depths of aliveness, you can combine the physical, emotional, energetic and spiritual components of turn on. If you want to experience deeper intimacy and connection in your life, it begins with not just knowing your turn-on, but living a turned-on life.

August 17, 2020

Turn On, Pleasure and Desire

What’s the connection with turn-on, pleasure and desire?

TURN-ON is what makes us feel ALIVE inside. When we FEEL alive, we allow our bodies to experience pleasure in SO MANY ways. When we dive into our pleasure, we open our desire channel to more and more desires.
PLEASURE is a feeling of happy satisfaction and enjoyment. Pleasure is a delightful sensation we allow ourselves to feel when our attention and energy is fully in our body. Pleasure is a gift from God that allows us to surrender to the feelings and sensations in the moment. Pleasure is different from fun (being playful) or joy (a state of inner peace), as it allows our bodies to feel.

DESIRE is a natural impulse that originates from your soul. Desire longs for you to expand and grow beyond what you already know. It rises above the obligations, should haves, rational or logical thinking, or seeking the approval of others. It requires that we are led by a force greater than our minds. Desire is the nutrient we need to fuel our soul. Desire is not the object itself. It is about being moved by the energy of desire itself.
So…

What turn’s you on?
What brings you pleasure?
What do you desire?

There is no right or wrong answer. None of these things are wrong or bad. But so many women when asked the questions above have a hard time answering them. Why? Is it that they don’t know, or are they too ashamed to say anything because it’s not something they are supposed to discuss? It’s taboo to talk about turn-on, pleasure and desire. Does culture or comfort hold us back?
The truth is, pleasure is the missing link to much of the unfulfillment women are experiencing in the world today. YOU are the only one that knows your turn on. If something turns you on, it is your responsibility to communicate and let your partner know what you like or create the turn-on yourself. YOU know what brings you pleasure. ou are the only one who knows what feels good and pleasureful to you. Every woman is different, so you can’t expect your partner to know what you like. It’s not their job to be a mind reader.

It is important for you to know your body and what brings you pleasure so that you can communicate to your partner what feels good to you or create the opportunity to experience pleasure just for you.

Mama Gena, founder of the School of Womanly Arts, states, “Pleasure is the direct antidote to the crisis of confidence and powerlessness women are currently experiencing.” Self-development and talk therapy are helpful but they do not get into the body. There is something different that happens when the body experiences pleasure over anything else. We have been looking for confidence in the wrong neighborhood. We believe we are flawed, so we try to hide and pretend like we need to fix something about ourselves, however, what we really need is the ability to connect to our sensual intelligence.
And lastly, only YOU know what you desire. When you are alone in your room, using your imagination, fantasizing and dreaming about your natural desires, only YOU know what you secretly yearn for and crave. What do you wish was different in your life? What are those hungers deep inside of you that are just waiting to break free? You have the power to choose. When you embrace turn-on, own your pleasure and cultivate your desires, you can experience more intimacy, connection and fulfillment with your partner and in life.

August 11, 2020

Make a Commitment to Your Pleasure

As we dive deeper into understanding what pleasure is as well as the importance of it, we owe it to ourselves to make a commitment to our pleasure and our radiance.

With any new venture or goal in life, the hardest part is making the decision and getting started. Let’s think about the decision to eat healthier or workout out. How many times have you said to yourself, I am going to start eating better or go to the gym regularly to find yourself NOT following through on what it was you said you were going to do for yourself.
Just like eating healthy, going to the gym, meditating, or going to church are all regular habits or practices, PLEASURE IS ALSO A PRACTICE. You can’t just eat healthy once a week and expect to be slim. You also can’t just workout once a week and expect to tone your body. You need to make a commitment to yourself and create a regular practice.
I am gifting you with the opportunity to make a vow to yourself to own your pleasure. Join our movement, by choosing to reclaim your sexuality as a woman and anchor the journey of coming home to yourself. In choosing to accept The Pleasure Promise, you are taking a stand to connect more deeply with yourself, your body, your partner and the Divine.

The Pleasure Promise is a 3-part journey:
• Learning to love and accept your body
• Discovering your own pleasure (with or without a partner)
• Surrendering to a deeper spiritual connection (intimacy and sharing of whole self)

You will find that pleasure is the gateway to a deeper spiritual connection with your partner and the Divine. If you truly want to experience the depth of intimacy and connection you crave, making a commitment to your pleasure is vitally important. It could be be THE THING that saves your marriage or that makes your man want to commit to you.

If you are ready to begin the next phase of your journey and are curious on learning more about HOW to create a practice of committing to your own pleasure, click on our website link and sign up to receive a download of The Pleasure Promise. You can use this guide as a daily promise to yourself and your pleasure.

If you are ready to take your commitment to another level, sign up for a complementary consultation and learn how we can support you on your personal journey.

August 6, 2020

Cultural Myths that Block Women from Experiencing Pleasure

What is pleasure? How do we as women experience a pleasure-filled life? When a woman shatters the glass ceiling of what pleasure really is and learns to embrace it, the world around her begins to shift.
Pleasure is MORE than taking time out for self-care practices. When we own our pleasure, we connect to a power within that is even greater than ourselves. When a woman expands the love of her body, embraces her radiance and her feminine power, she becomes magnetic, igniting an energy that begins to attract all that she desires.
I realize the concept of pleasure is not something that we all talk about often. So how do we have an open dialogue on this topic and understand the value that focusing on pleasure can do for women? Let me share a story with you.

One woman I worked with had an okay relationship with her partner but wanted to take things to another level. She wanted more intimacy and connection, but everything she tried didn’t seem to work. She tried things like ….

… Talking to him
… Asking him to go to counseling
… Suggesting they go to a workshop together
… Recommending books that would be good for him to learn how to have a better relationship
… Leaving hints around the house
… Giving him an ultimatum
… Just accepting things as they are, and setting for the relationship they currently had

NONE of these things worked.

She was at her wits end. Is this how relationships are supposed to feel? She really did not want to leave her marriage, but at the same time, she felt unhappy and unfulfilled as a woman. She knew she needed to make a change. She was hesitant to focus on pleasure, but nothing else seemed to work. She was a “Good Catholic Girl.” How could she be thinking about focusing on her own pleasure?! She shared with me some of the concerns she had around focusing on pleasure that I think every woman can relate to. She worried that number 1, pleasure was gluttonous. That it was selfish to focus on pleasure. She worried that pleasure was a reward that must by earned by hard work and good behavior. And of course, like a good Catholic girl she didn’t want to look like a like a bimbo or a slut by coming across as too sexy.

Her and I sat and talked about each of these concerns. I shared with her how I have heard so many other women share the same fears, but that there was hope! These are myths that most of us have been taught about pleasure, but they are exactly that, MYTHS. She was hesitant to dive right in to a sexuality program, but nothing else had worked. She knew in her core she had this yearning and longing and was curious to learn more. She was ready.

July 23, 2020

Defining Pleasure

When I started focusing on pleasure, my first thought was what are people going to think? I was raised as a good catholic girl, how could I be exploring, let alone encouraging other women to open to the possibilities of what focusing on pleasure could do for their lives, relationships and careers? Don’t get me wrong I do enjoy life, but I’m a busy working mom always on the go living a life filled with passion and purpose and can easily get caught up in all the work to get done, whether it’s participating in church activities, raising my family or building and running my business.

You might say, Jen, I do take time to enjoy my life. I take time for me regularly. I enjoy spending time with my kids, connecting with friends and make date nights. We also take regular vacations. If this is true for you, I applaud your efforts; however, I encourage you to consider your experience with TRULY FEELING pleasure. Pleasure is a delightful sensation we allow ourselves to feel when our attention and energy is FULLY IN OUR BODY.
Pleasure is different from fun (being playful) or joy (a state of inner peace), as it ALLOWS OUR BODIES TO FEEL. When we deny ourselves pleasure, we end up creating physical and emotional pain. Pleasure can be felt through all of our senses. Rediscovering our ability to feel enables us to express our true self which includes experiencing pure enjoyment as well releasing negative or stagnant energies that are no longer serving us.

When we embody ourselves, we awaken the feminine energy and radiance inside of us. We become, healed, whole and healthy. We discover how to reclaim our power and begin to honor and appreciate our body as a temple.

I want you to be curious! What if PLEASURE was the answer?

• WHAT IF you could experience more pleasure in your life with no judgment?
• WHAT IF experiencing pleasure allowed you to discover your purpose?
• WHAT IF owning your pleasure is the key to you discovering your authentic self?
• WHAT would happen IF you gave yourself permission to nurture yourself as a woman?
• WHAT would happen IF you got in touch with your true feminine nature?
• WHAT IF feeling pleasure opened doors of opportunity that you never knew existed?
• WHAT IF experiencing pleasure was the key to creating more intimate relationships?

PLEASURE IS NOT A LUXURY. IT IS A NECESSITY AND A GATEWAY TO POSSIBILITIES. When we give ourselves permission to be vulnerable and feel pleasure, we learn radical self-love and self-respect. We embody a presence that is energetic, empowering and magnetic.

Let us discover all the richness of our feminine nature, all the mystery and magic. As we reclaim our truth, freedom and true happiness, we can expand our radiance, share more of gifts of service to the world and create the intimacy and connection our souls desire.

May 4, 2020

Exploring Motherhood and Sexuality

The Freedom Keys theme this May is all about Motherhood and Sexuality. Many of you might be scratching your heads wondering, “What does motherhood have to do with sexuality?” You had sex to procreate and become a mom, but that’s it.

On the contrary, I would argue that being in touch with your sexuality has EVERYTHING to do with being a good mom. Your sexuality is about who YOU are as a woman, BEFORE and AFTER you became a mom. As women we play many roles in our lives. Whether it is mom, sister, daughter, friend, wife, mother-in-law, or daughter-in-law, each role is important and one role is not more important than the other. There may be times in our lives where one role requires more attention than others, however, they are all important.

When we become a mom, it doesn’t mean we have to lose ourselves as a woman. So many women struggle with their bodies, feeling like their bodies are no longer their own after having a baby. You may be nursing, and your boobs are used to feed your children, as opposed to your partner’s fun. Your stomach may not be flat after gaining 50 extra pounds of baby weight, as opposed to feeling slim and sexy in your cute jeans, which no longer fit. Your “lady parts” down there might be loose, whether you had a 6 or 10 pound baby squeezed out of you. You may pee in your pants when you jump, sneeze or cough, as opposed to feeling tight and toned, where you could weight-lift from your vagina. You are exhausted and overwhelmed. You don’t have time to exercise and your body is no longer in “good shape”. You don’t have the time or energy to be intimate with your partners and when you do, you might want the lights off so he won’t see you.

The truth is, if we just focus on being a mom and forget about being a woman, we lose sight of a BIG part of who we are. When you think of the word gender, it is referring to whether you are a man or woman, not whether you are a mother or father. Our gender as a woman defines our sexuality and much of who we are. At its core, female body parts define a biological woman. Women have breasts, ovaries and a vagina, where men have a penis and testicles. It is important that we don’t ignore the beauty of what makes us physically different than men. God designed us to be different, and to have the fortune of being mothers. Our bodies are a part of what makes us special and unique as women. When I talk about sexuality, I mean what makes you the WOMAN you are in the body, mind, and soul.
If we want to be a good mom, have a great marriage, a successful career and an abundance of money, we must not forget who we are at the core. We must love and connect with all the roles and parts that make us a woman. We must understand our bodies are a gift! We need to embrace our bodies, rather than hide or shame them. As a mom, the best gift you can give your kids is an example of a happy, healthy marriage. And it is ok if that marriage now includes a step parent. If you do not focus on your marriage, loving your body, and make sex a priority in your relationship, you are doing yourself, your partner and your kids a dis-service. Sex and intimacy are one of the missing pieces in the puzzle. When you are connected to your sexuality as a woman, you become a better mom, better partner, and a better businesswoman. You shine your light brighter into this world. Rather than telling your kids they can create the life of their dreams, you live by example and show your kids what it means to be a woman and live out your God- given purpose.

I understand that for many women, we were not taught to view motherhood and sexuality this way. That is ok! Let’s explore how each of us relate to this topic with the questions below.

What did your mom teach you about motherhood?
• Did your mom always sacrifice her own needs for yours?
• Did your mom follow her dreams? Or Did she give up her dreams for you?
• Name one quality that YOUR MOM would define as a “good mom”
• Are there things you wish you could say to your mom that you haven’t?
• Is there something that drives you crazy about your mom that you said you never wanted to do when you became a mom?

What did your mom teach you about being a good wife/partner?
• What did your mom teach you about love and relationships?
• Were your parents happily married, divorced or never married?
• What impact did your parents relationship have on how you connect with your partner?
• Did your parents prioritize time to be with each other or their new spouse? Or did they always put you first?
• Did you say you would never do things your mom did?
• Did you see your parents modeling good relationships for you?
• Did you see your mom admire and respect her romantic partner?

What did your mom teach you about sex and your body?
• What did your mom teach you about sex?
• When you got your period, was it a celebration, uneventful or a traumatic experience?
• Did your mom teach you how to love your body?
• Were you taught that brains were more important than beauty?
• Were you taught to love your body or change it to meet a different ideal?

What did your mom teach you about being a WOMAN?
• Is your body your own after being a mom?
• Do you still feel turned on as sexy after being a mom?
• Do you find it hard to feel “in the mood” after being a mom?
• What is one thing you admire about your own mothering abilities?
• What did your religion or culture teach you about being a mom?
• What roles models did you have that taught you how to be a woman?
• Was your mom a good mom and housekeeper, but didn’t teach you how to be a woman?