What is pleasure? How do we as women experience a pleasure-filled life? When a woman shatters the glass ceiling of what pleasure really is and learns to embrace it, the world around her begins to shift.
Pleasure is MORE than taking time out for self-care practices. When we own our pleasure, we connect to a power within that is even greater than ourselves. When a woman expands the love of her body, embraces her radiance and her feminine power, she becomes magnetic, igniting an energy that begins to attract all that she desires.
I realize the concept of pleasure is not something that we all talk about often. So how do we have an open dialogue on this topic and understand the value that focusing on pleasure can do for women? Let me share a story with you.
One woman I worked with had an okay relationship with her partner but wanted to take things to another level. She wanted more intimacy and connection, but everything she tried didn’t seem to work. She tried things like ….
… Talking to him
… Asking him to go to counseling
… Suggesting they go to a workshop together
… Recommending books that would be good for him to learn how to have a better relationship
… Leaving hints around the house
… Giving him an ultimatum
… Just accepting things as they are, and setting for the relationship they currently had
NONE of these things worked.
She was at her wits end. Is this how relationships are supposed to feel? She really did not want to leave her marriage, but at the same time, she felt unhappy and unfulfilled as a woman. She knew she needed to make a change. She was hesitant to focus on pleasure, but nothing else seemed to work. She was a “Good Catholic Girl.” How could she be thinking about focusing on her own pleasure?! She shared with me some of the concerns she had around focusing on pleasure that I think every woman can relate to. She worried that number 1, pleasure was gluttonous. That it was selfish to focus on pleasure. She worried that pleasure was a reward that must by earned by hard work and good behavior. And of course, like a good Catholic girl she didn’t want to look like a like a bimbo or a slut by coming across as too sexy.
Her and I sat and talked about each of these concerns. I shared with her how I have heard so many other women share the same fears, but that there was hope! These are myths that most of us have been taught about pleasure, but they are exactly that, MYTHS. She was hesitant to dive right in to a sexuality program, but nothing else had worked. She knew in her core she had this yearning and longing and was curious to learn more. She was ready.