November 30, 2020

Inspired Beauty and The Experience of Witnessing

 

A photographer friend of mine used to do photoshoots of women and put on a gallery show every year named, Inspired Beauty. They were not “sexy” or boudoir photoshoots, but rather they focused on bringing out the beauty of a woman. He would see into a woman’s soul and allow her essence to be reflected through the photos taken. He could see the beauty in all women and felt his calling was to help women see the beauty inside of themselves. As we mentioned earlier, men can many times see more beauty in us than we see in ourselves, because we are so focused on comparing ourselves to societal standards. This photoshoot was a completely different experience than my first boudoir photoshoot. This was more than just feeling sexy and confident, this was about getting to know myself at a deeper level. It was almost like asking the question, “Who is Jen?” I want you to have a similar experience and dive into the depths of your truth and answer the question “Who are You?”

Many of the Inspired Beauty photos that were taken were captured of a woman not smiling. The goal wasn’t to put on a happy face. The goal was to allow a woman to see the beauty of herself and be in the moment. It felt more like an intimate experience of seeing into someone’s soul. It was not at all like taking photos for a branding shoot or a headshot. He captured amazing images of women that highlighted a woman’s essence of who she was. His work was POWERFUL. And those experiences were more than photoshoots for those women.

Photoshoots in general, are all amazing because the experience itself is an embodiment practice. It is an experience that puts you in a position of being in your body. The reality is, women have so much anxiety around picture taking like we discussed in a previous lesson. First is the anxiety around making the decision to say yes. Am I at the right body shape to do this? Once you make the decision to say yes, you question, what should I wear? After you plan your outfits, you may get nervous about having your hair, nails and make-up done. After all those decisions are made and tasks completed, you are left with being in the experience.  That’s right. When you are ready for the photoshoot, you get to then be the star of the show.  You not only get the opportunity to put on sexy clothes, but you also get the opportunity to be witnessed by someone. Not only are you nervous about how your pictures are going to look, you may also have anxiety about the fact that someone else can see how you are feeling in the moment. When you begin to let go of your anxiety and step into your expression as a woman and someone sees you doing that, it is extremely powerful. Yes, it can be scary and uncomfortable but after you had the experience, you can see how powerful it can be. To not only be in your power, but also have someone WITNESS you as well. If you allow it to be, it is what I would truly consider an intimate experience and connection with oneself. When you can feel at complete ease with yourself, you are experiencing a union and deep connection with Source energy.

 

Photo Credit Bob Briskey Photography

November 30, 2020

My First Photoshoot Experience

 

There was a point in my life where I didn’t think I was beautiful and sexy. I hid behind so many lies all my life. As I started being open to the possibility of SOMETHING MORE in my life and relationships, I participated in a program that allowed me to dive into my body shame. I realized that my body had physically been numb for years. I didn’t want to hide anymore. Through that program and other embodiment experiences, I had learned how to feel my body again.

 

So I set 3 intentions…

  • To share my experience with the world. To help other women heal their sexuality and body shame so they could have an epic love affair with themselves and show up as the sexy confident woman they desired to be.
  • To help other women take this newfound aliveness and create more intimate connections, and live the life of their dreams.
  • To challenge myself to do a boudoir photoshoot.

 

Now that I could feel my body again, I wanted to know how it felt to feel sexy and attractive again. The day after I got home from my retreat there was a Groupon in my inbox for a boudoir photoshoot. I thought to myself, really God? Could this really be happening? How on earth did this happen so quickly?

Then of course doubt set in and I made up every excuse in the book. I didn’t know if I should do it. I didn’t know if I could find the right photographer. I didn’t know if I really wanted to spend the money. I wanted to lose a good 20 to 40 pounds first. I almost said no because I was unhappy with my physical appearance. I just had this amazing spiritual awakening, but I was still not happy with my physical appearance and so almost said NO!

I spent some serious time in thought questioning what I was afraid of and why I would turn down the opportunity that I asked for. When it came down to it, I had been ashamed of my body and who I was for years. I didn’t want to spend money on photos of myself that I wouldn’t like, where I thought I was fat and didn’t look good. While I just had this awakening that I could feel my body again, I still needed to go through the process of additional healing to truly love my body again too. Then, I remembered the intention I set about sharing my story with the world and I made the decision to do my first boudoir photoshoot even though I felt curious, overweight and scared.

I had never really gotten my picture taken before, so this was one great way to tackle the challenge. The experience was so much more than a photoshoot. It symbolized being OPEN to saying yes to the possibilities that were in store for my life. I realized that before change could happen, I needed to be accepting and loving of myself for who I was NOW, not who I thought I should be. If I wanted to teach other women this message, then I needed to practice what I preach.

Doing a photoshoot was a great way to dive into the deep end of the self-love transformation process. This was just the beginning of my journey. I was so grateful I did the photoshoot.  While I didn’t release all the shame around my body, I took inspired action to begin appreciating my body as opposed to shaming it all of the time.

What I didn’t realize was how profound a photoshoot experience was on my overall confidence and self-image. I ended up having additional photoshoots over the course of the next seven years and each one was a completely different experience and part of the personal self-love journey. The photoshoot had two amazing components. The first is the experience of being in your body. A photoshoot isn’t just about the result of the photo, it is about the experience of really being present in the moment and learning to enjoy and be in your body, in serious, in playful, and in fun moments. The second part of the experience is something I wasn’t expecting and that was being witnessed by someone else. There is a profound feeling when you are in a space of loving yourself and your body and there is someone else witnessing you in that experience. It is like a breath of fresh air. They reflect to you the radiance you are shining during the photoshoot and it is miraculous to have someone truly see you in the depths of who you are.

 

 

 

November 27, 2020

Permission to Experience

 

I would like to challenge you, to really come into the fullest expression of yourself. To come to know and love you, which includes the enjoyment of being YOURSELF! If you want to be grateful and see the beauty in everyone and everything, you also need to do the same thing for yourself and learn to love and admire the BEAUTY IN YOU.

You might be thinking, ok Jen, that is great, but how is having a photoshoot or dancing going to help me create a better relationship with my partner, love myself more and help me step into a fuller expression of myself?

I’d like to share with you 3 different benefits…

  • Seeing yourself from a different perspective
    Being in your body allows you to take off the roles of mom, wife, professional, daughter, sister, volunteer person, church leader etc. and to SEE YOURSELF as the beautiful woman you are. It is no longer about doing something for someone else, it is about BEING and ENJOYING who you are. You can learn how to surrender and be in your body fully and completely. When you are in this fullest expression, you begin to attract more of what you desire in your life.
  • Feel into the experience and what it reveals to you about yourself
    The value of a photoshoot is much bigger than the result of the photos. The photos capture a snapshot in time of the essence of who you are, but the photoshoot itself allows you to fully step into YOU and experience the joy, beauty and pleasure of being you. Each time you do a photoshoot, you will see the growth in your journey and how you feel during the shoot. When you dance, you can feel into your energy and that of your partner. The experience allows you to step more fully into the essence of being a woman. When you move to the beat of the music you can feel the energy move through you. In each of these examples, you are not talking about something, you are experiencing and creating a new loving imprint within your body.
  • Witness the growth of who you are in your journey
    Since it’s hard to see ourselves, it is beautiful when you can experience multiple photoshoots and see your progress along the journey. It reminds me of watching kids grow up, you can see their growth. When you have a photo taken, you can see the change in who you are and have become show up in your photos as well. The same is true for dancing. You can see and feel the shift in the way you move, how you carry yourself and how you step into your energy, essence and your power as a woman. You are no longer giving your power away. You can feel and own your divine feminine power.

 

When you give yourself permission to experience BEING in your body, your whole world changes.  So, what does experience “it” even mean? Experiencing “it” is about being in your body and living authentically through all the moments and emotions of life. Experiencing “it” means to allow yourself to be free to feel and embrace all that the world and your relationships can offer. It means giving yourself permission to step into the fullest expression of you.

 

November 27, 2020

Awareness of The Fullest Expression of You

 

If you want to live as the fullest expression of WHO YOU ARE, then you need to learn how to experience being in your body. Whether you want a more intimate relationship with your partner, you want to fulfill your passion and purpose in life, or you want to make more money in your business and be of greater service in the world, the key to your growth and development is to first look at who you currently are, and second who you are becoming. You can only become the best, fully expressed version of yourself when you KNOW YOURSELF. You must know yourself in mind, body and spirit. When you SEE YOURSELF and FEEL YOURSELF, you can come to KNOW YOURSELF.

How do you come to live in the fullest expression of WHO YOU ARE?

I want to share with you a couple of different key tools you can use to assist you on your journey to becoming the most fully expressed version of YOU. The two I want to discuss are a photoshoot and dancing. Now I don’t mean just get your picture taken, although that can be fun too, but I want you to pay attention to the entire experience from start to finish. I get a lot of push back from so many women when it comes to getting their photo taken. They are the first ones to ensure a family photo is taken, but they themselves don’t want to be in the photo.

I want to share a story, where one day I was helping a photographer friend at a free local event. There were a variety of different vendors and he was giving away free headshots. Many women and their children walked through the doors of the building. They stopped to speak with us, however, what I noticed is that whenever a woman was asked if they wanted their picture taken, majority said NO! They were MORE THAN HAPPY to get photos of their kids taken and smiled with glee to see the happy looks on their children’s faces, however, when it came to them, it was like someone just died.  NO WAY JOSE!!!! This is not for me!!!

I heard things like…
… I don’t like my picture taken
… I didn’t do my hair today
… I don’t take good photos
… I never like how I look in pictures
… I am not dressed appropriately
… I need to lose 10 – 15 pounds first

Let’s take a deeper look at dancing. How many of you enjoy moving to the beat of the music when you hear one of your favorite songs, but feel awkward because you don’t think you are doing it right, or think you might look weird? You know music fuels your soul, but at the same time something stops you from embracing BEING ONE with the music. When I started taking dance lessons, many women loved hearing about my journey and said I would love to dance, BUT…

I heard things like…
… I can’t move like that
… I have 2 left feet
… I would need to lose 10 – 15 pounds
… I don’t like how I look
… I don’t want someone to watch me
… I would never look good in a dress like that

The truth is, many women tend to HATE one or more things about their body, which makes it difficult to want to get their photo taken or be seen dancing. These are 2 of the easiest ways you can begin to get to know yourself more intimately. They allow you to BE IN YOUR BODY where you can begin stepping into the fullest expression of you.

Don’t you wonder…

What if experiencing a photoshoot or dancing like no one is watching could be the catalyst to help you feel more comfortable being in your body? 
What if embodiment provided you insights into knowing yourself better as the amazing woman you are?
What if embodiment could propel you forward in your relationship and your business?

 

Ballroom Dancing
October 27, 2020

Stop Judging Yourself. What Do YOU Desire?

What do you REALLY desire? How many times do you have an idea or spark within you and ignore it? We all do this sometimes, but what happens when you say YES to your desires? I want to share an experience from my personal journey on saying YES to my desires. Or in this case, yes to the dress. (pun intended)

In 2019, I started taking ballroom dancing lessons and was excited to attend one of their dance competitions. I had watched Dancing with the Stars many times, and loved the show, so was curious as to what the experience would be like watching something similar in person.

When I walked in, I was mesmerized by the entire experience. Not only was I able to watch the dance competition, I was quickly drawn to a section in the back where there were hundreds of beautiful dresses. I curiously asked if I could try any on. Not only did I get to watch the competition, I got to play too. It was so much fun!!!

I tried on a handful of dresses but, when I put on this blue amazing sparkly dress, I just KNEW it was for me. It fit perfectly. It was like the dress was made just for me. I wanted to buy it. BUT… A part of me looked at the price tag and said OUCH!!!! Then my logical mind said things like, Yes, this is a pretty dress that looks great on me, but I had no intention of buying a dress today, do I really want to spend the money on it?

How many of you can relate to that question? You have a desire, you know you want it, but something inside of you holds you back from saying yes! There are questions running in your mind like….

• Is it worth the investment?
• Do I really need the thing that I want?
• Would this be an impulsive purchase that is not worth the money?
• How would I pay for it? It’s not like I have the money to pay for it out right.
• I could use the money for so many other things, do I really want to spend it on this?

I went through all the same thoughts and feelings. Along my journey, I have realized how important it is to say YES to my desires when I really want something. When I first started taking dance lessons, I remembered envisioning myself participating in a competition one day. And here I was trying on a dress that felt like the Universe sent it to me. Who was I to deny myself this beautiful dress that showed up for me?

I listened to my heart’s desire and didn’t care how much it was. I would figure it out. I put the dress on. I felt amazing in it. I even remember looking down and noticing a sexy slit down my right thigh and in that moment, I just knew I was meant to say YES! It felt like me saying yes to my TRUTH. I was saying yes to my own value and worth as a woman.

What is something you have always wanted to do or buy for YOU? I encourage you to feel into your desire before saying NO or making up excuses as to why you don’t need it. You deserve to have all that you desire!

Meditation
October 27, 2020

Stop Looking for Proof Outside Yourself

Last month we talked about how transformation begins in the body, and this month I want to dive deeper into how we can experience more of what life has to offer as well as understand what can get in the way of us experiencing our desires. Sometimes we sit on the sidelines and wait for the perfect timing or the perfect answer and end up letting life pass us by rather than experience it. Let me share with you a couple of stories that bring a new perspective to what stops us from really being in our body and experiencing life.

In the book Red Hot and Holy, author Sera Beak talks about her personal spiritual journey. She had a PHD in philosophy, studied a variety of religions, and was looking for the proof somewhere on who had “the right answer” when it came to spirituality. She researched, studied, took courses, interviewed people and what she ended up realizing was, there is NO PROOF! Yep. You can’t find the truth, the perfect solution or the answer written anywhere. You must experience spirituality for yourself she found. It proved to be a very personal journey for each individual.

So what does experience “it” even mean? Experiencing it isn’t about getting another degree or waiting for things to show up in your life. It is about being in your body and living authentically through all the moments and emotions of life. Experiencing “it” means to allow yourself to be free to feel and embrace all that the world and your relationships can offer.

How many of us spend our lives trying to prove a point or prove someone else wrong? Or we do not want to take a risk because we can’t prove it is going to work? We need to surrender the ego and the need to know, and allow ourselves to feel what our heart is guiding us to do. This is true of all aspects of our lives. We all have societal, cultural, religious and familial belief structures that have been passed down that define our value and belief systems. We are taught that if it’s not in alignment with our belief system, then it is WRONG. It is hard to think that some things your faith or family taught you, are not really the truth. In fact, it is downright terrifying for many to think that.

Let me use my personal story as an example. I was taught that I had to always go to the bible to find PROOF of God’s message. There was a point in my journey where I questioned whether things showing up were from God or the Devil. Trust me when I say, I can understand if you feel the same way. I was raised in a devout Catholic family and my faith was the foundation of everything. If I listened to outside voices, I would get confused. Others would chastise me and tell me how wrong I was to think or believe new ideas showing up for me. There is one day I remember meeting two very lovely women and could feel their positive energy. Another woman approached me and told me to stay away from “those people”. Some faiths believe God warns us to stay away from psychic mediums because they are from the devil or a negative source. I remember going to the chapel to pray and asked for guidance. My thinking mind went home to research this PROOF in the bible for myself. I didn’t want to make the WRONG choice. A couple hours later a different friend of mine recommended that I meet with someone. It happened to be one of those ladies. I thank God for answering my prayers and it was in that moment, I KNEW to trust my heart and to STOP LOOKING for proof outside of myself. I didn’t need to find written proof anywhere and that God could answer my prayers in many different ways. I like to say that my “faith” or (belief system) held me back and yet my “faith” and (belief in a higher power) pulled me through.

As you see from my story, there is conflict here for many women. But what is important for women to understand is the need to know, the need to control our relationships and outcomes, may be what holds many of us back from true connection. This mindset issues will impact your romantic relationships. Do you ever find yourself looking for proof if your partner is “the one”? Or have you ever started a fight because your partner did not meet your expectations? Ever you ever felt like your intuition told you one thing, but logic, friends or family told you to doubt? This back and forth, looking for proof and approval outside of ourselves, may be the exact reason why we find certain types of relationships challenging.

August 17, 2020

Understanding the “Turn On”

Did you know that being turned-on has more to do with an energetic connection than it does with physical touch alone? We have this false belief that turn-on needs to be “sexual” when there are SO many other things that can turn you on and light your fire that are just as powerful.

When women are craving more intimacy, passion and connection with their partner, I hear concerns like: the romance has died, we live like roommates, I have lost my libido or I don’t feel turned-on anymore. Let’s look at the definition of what it means to be “turned-on” for our answer.
Webster defines “Turn On” as: An activation or cause to flow, operate, or function by or as if by turning a control, or to move pleasurably.

When you turn on the lights, the room goes from dark to light. When you turn on the water faucet, the water goes from nothing to a continuous flow of water. Our energy is the same way. Being turned-on is feeling ALIVE and feeling the positive flow of energy throughout your entire body. A spark ignites and fuels you up on the inside and radiates outward to others. When you are turned-on, people feel the difference in your energy and want to be around you.

When you tune into yourself, into the frequency that fuels your fire, you feel energized and alive. Abraham Hicks, an inspirational speaker and author, regularly talks about being “in the vortex.” She shares inspiring stories and wisdom on how to get tuned in, tapped in and turned on with life. According to Hicks, when you are “turned-on” you are in the flow of life and attract to you the things you desire.

Turn-on can be a physical sensation however it doesn’t have to be. Sometimes we believe that we need a man to be turned-on, because we know how good it feels when we feel turned-on in his presence. The truth is you don’t need a man to find your turn on. If you can find your turn-on without a man, imagine how exciting it can be when you bring your aliveness to meet him. The fireworks that will fly. When you experience the depths of aliveness, you can combine the physical, emotional, energetic and spiritual components of turn on. If you want to experience deeper intimacy and connection in your life, it begins with not just knowing your turn-on, but living a turned-on life.

August 17, 2020

Turn On, Pleasure and Desire

What’s the connection with turn-on, pleasure and desire?

TURN-ON is what makes us feel ALIVE inside. When we FEEL alive, we allow our bodies to experience pleasure in SO MANY ways. When we dive into our pleasure, we open our desire channel to more and more desires.
PLEASURE is a feeling of happy satisfaction and enjoyment. Pleasure is a delightful sensation we allow ourselves to feel when our attention and energy is fully in our body. Pleasure is a gift from God that allows us to surrender to the feelings and sensations in the moment. Pleasure is different from fun (being playful) or joy (a state of inner peace), as it allows our bodies to feel.

DESIRE is a natural impulse that originates from your soul. Desire longs for you to expand and grow beyond what you already know. It rises above the obligations, should haves, rational or logical thinking, or seeking the approval of others. It requires that we are led by a force greater than our minds. Desire is the nutrient we need to fuel our soul. Desire is not the object itself. It is about being moved by the energy of desire itself.
So…

What turn’s you on?
What brings you pleasure?
What do you desire?

There is no right or wrong answer. None of these things are wrong or bad. But so many women when asked the questions above have a hard time answering them. Why? Is it that they don’t know, or are they too ashamed to say anything because it’s not something they are supposed to discuss? It’s taboo to talk about turn-on, pleasure and desire. Does culture or comfort hold us back?
The truth is, pleasure is the missing link to much of the unfulfillment women are experiencing in the world today. YOU are the only one that knows your turn on. If something turns you on, it is your responsibility to communicate and let your partner know what you like or create the turn-on yourself. YOU know what brings you pleasure. ou are the only one who knows what feels good and pleasureful to you. Every woman is different, so you can’t expect your partner to know what you like. It’s not their job to be a mind reader.

It is important for you to know your body and what brings you pleasure so that you can communicate to your partner what feels good to you or create the opportunity to experience pleasure just for you.

Mama Gena, founder of the School of Womanly Arts, states, “Pleasure is the direct antidote to the crisis of confidence and powerlessness women are currently experiencing.” Self-development and talk therapy are helpful but they do not get into the body. There is something different that happens when the body experiences pleasure over anything else. We have been looking for confidence in the wrong neighborhood. We believe we are flawed, so we try to hide and pretend like we need to fix something about ourselves, however, what we really need is the ability to connect to our sensual intelligence.
And lastly, only YOU know what you desire. When you are alone in your room, using your imagination, fantasizing and dreaming about your natural desires, only YOU know what you secretly yearn for and crave. What do you wish was different in your life? What are those hungers deep inside of you that are just waiting to break free? You have the power to choose. When you embrace turn-on, own your pleasure and cultivate your desires, you can experience more intimacy, connection and fulfillment with your partner and in life.

August 11, 2020

Make a Commitment to Your Pleasure

As we dive deeper into understanding what pleasure is as well as the importance of it, we owe it to ourselves to make a commitment to our pleasure and our radiance.

With any new venture or goal in life, the hardest part is making the decision and getting started. Let’s think about the decision to eat healthier or workout out. How many times have you said to yourself, I am going to start eating better or go to the gym regularly to find yourself NOT following through on what it was you said you were going to do for yourself.
Just like eating healthy, going to the gym, meditating, or going to church are all regular habits or practices, PLEASURE IS ALSO A PRACTICE. You can’t just eat healthy once a week and expect to be slim. You also can’t just workout once a week and expect to tone your body. You need to make a commitment to yourself and create a regular practice.
I am gifting you with the opportunity to make a vow to yourself to own your pleasure. Join our movement, by choosing to reclaim your sexuality as a woman and anchor the journey of coming home to yourself. In choosing to accept The Pleasure Promise, you are taking a stand to connect more deeply with yourself, your body, your partner and the Divine.

The Pleasure Promise is a 3-part journey:
• Learning to love and accept your body
• Discovering your own pleasure (with or without a partner)
• Surrendering to a deeper spiritual connection (intimacy and sharing of whole self)

You will find that pleasure is the gateway to a deeper spiritual connection with your partner and the Divine. If you truly want to experience the depth of intimacy and connection you crave, making a commitment to your pleasure is vitally important. It could be be THE THING that saves your marriage or that makes your man want to commit to you.

If you are ready to begin the next phase of your journey and are curious on learning more about HOW to create a practice of committing to your own pleasure, click on our website link and sign up to receive a download of The Pleasure Promise. You can use this guide as a daily promise to yourself and your pleasure.

If you are ready to take your commitment to another level, sign up for a complementary consultation and learn how we can support you on your personal journey.

August 6, 2020

Cultural Myths that Block Women from Experiencing Pleasure

What is pleasure? How do we as women experience a pleasure-filled life? When a woman shatters the glass ceiling of what pleasure really is and learns to embrace it, the world around her begins to shift.
Pleasure is MORE than taking time out for self-care practices. When we own our pleasure, we connect to a power within that is even greater than ourselves. When a woman expands the love of her body, embraces her radiance and her feminine power, she becomes magnetic, igniting an energy that begins to attract all that she desires.
I realize the concept of pleasure is not something that we all talk about often. So how do we have an open dialogue on this topic and understand the value that focusing on pleasure can do for women? Let me share a story with you.

One woman I worked with had an okay relationship with her partner but wanted to take things to another level. She wanted more intimacy and connection, but everything she tried didn’t seem to work. She tried things like ….

… Talking to him
… Asking him to go to counseling
… Suggesting they go to a workshop together
… Recommending books that would be good for him to learn how to have a better relationship
… Leaving hints around the house
… Giving him an ultimatum
… Just accepting things as they are, and setting for the relationship they currently had

NONE of these things worked.

She was at her wits end. Is this how relationships are supposed to feel? She really did not want to leave her marriage, but at the same time, she felt unhappy and unfulfilled as a woman. She knew she needed to make a change. She was hesitant to focus on pleasure, but nothing else seemed to work. She was a “Good Catholic Girl.” How could she be thinking about focusing on her own pleasure?! She shared with me some of the concerns she had around focusing on pleasure that I think every woman can relate to. She worried that number 1, pleasure was gluttonous. That it was selfish to focus on pleasure. She worried that pleasure was a reward that must by earned by hard work and good behavior. And of course, like a good Catholic girl she didn’t want to look like a like a bimbo or a slut by coming across as too sexy.

Her and I sat and talked about each of these concerns. I shared with her how I have heard so many other women share the same fears, but that there was hope! These are myths that most of us have been taught about pleasure, but they are exactly that, MYTHS. She was hesitant to dive right in to a sexuality program, but nothing else had worked. She knew in her core she had this yearning and longing and was curious to learn more. She was ready.