April 26, 2017

Should I Spend Money on That?

How many of you find yourself struggling with “SHOULD I SPEND MONEY ON THAT?

What have you been taught about money?  Have you been taught the following?:

Money is the root of all evil
Money is not that important, its just money
Money doesn’t grow on trees, it is a limited resource
You need to save for a rainy day
It is selfish to want a lot of money

These are just a few of the top money and abundance blocks out there. I have personally struggled with my thoughts and beliefs about money.  It is never something that I really focused on.  However, as I created intentional focus on my thoughts and beliefs about money, I have seen some shifts in my life.

Money is a representation of the value that you provide to others.  It is an exchange for goods or services rendered.  It’s all about defining the VALUE that is created by the exchange.

How often do you make decisions based on a lack or scarcity mentality as opposed to an abundance and and prosperity mentality?  Many times we don’t invest in ourselves, because we are afraid to spend the money.  Which is the exact opposite of what we really want.  We allow ourselves to punish or sabotage ourselves unknowingly by not being true to ourselves and our desires.

KayakI remember last summer I was reintroduced to my love of kayaking.  One day I decided to take two of my boys for a surprise and went to the Naperville Riverwalk so that we could rent a kayak and go on the water,   When I got there, I looked at the price of the paddleboat vs. the price of the kayak.  While I REALLY wanted to rent the kayak, it was like $25 MORE than the paddleboat.  So I stood there, and questioned myself.  WHAT SHOULD I DO?  WHAT SHOULD I SPEND MY MONEY ON?

I almost rented the paddleboat and then something in me said NO.  You came here to kayak, so spend the extra money and get the kayak.  That is the REAL EXPERIENCE you want to have.   There is value behind the experience of having your boys experience a kayak vs. the paddleboat.  Don’t sell yourself short.   I did choose to rent the kayaks and we had an AMAZING experience.  I felt so good about my decision and the experience we had.  If I wouldn’t have spent the money, I would have felt bad that I didn’t listen to myself and would have wondered what we might have missed out on, however in the past I have deprived myself or chosen NOT to do something and ended staying in my comfort zone.  This felt SO MUCH BETTER and because I was true to myself and in alignment with what I wanted, I started to see shifts with my kids.  That was reason enough to say yes to my own desires.

How many of us, stop in our tracks and don’t spend money on what we REALLY want, thinking another option might save us money.  Each situation and person is unique on what they define as valuable, however, what I learned about myself was that when I saw VALUE in something, I would invest the money on it, however, if I saw it as wasteful or not worth it, then I wouldn’t spend the money.

I encourage you to think about WHERE YOU SPEND OR INVEST YOUR MONEY.  Do you invest in things for yourself?  If NOT, I would encourage you to reflect on why you are not valuing yourself enough to invest money in yourself.   Things shift for us when we are willing and open to shift our thinking. What could happen IF YOU INVESTED IN YOURSELF TODAY?

March 22, 2017

Do you hold onto things that Paralyze you?

How many of us hold on to things that paralyze us?

Something happens and we spin in a cycle of anger, shame or humiliation and can’t seem to get ourselves out of it. The only way out is through. Accept what happened, feel the wave of emotions and then let them go. All emotions are portals to our next phase of learning and healing  It does us no good to complain about a situation or to wallow in our suffering or anxiety.  It’s also important to know that there are no good or bad feelings.   All feelings show up to teach us a lesson.  We must not label them and look for the gift that is available to us.

When we thank the situation for the gifts that it brings, we are able to feel in the moment, lean into the lesson, let go and move on…

If you are angry, maybe the lesson is trust yourself more.
If you are shameful, maybe the lesson is to have more courage and be enthusiastic about taking bold steps in your future..
If you feel humiliation, maybe the lesson is to claim more respect
If you are 

Releae let go

I had an experience last week that was absolutely humiliating.  It created so much anxiety in my body that I almost couldn’t function.  I kept reliving the experience and beating myself up.  When I realized what I was doing, I decided to give myself a timeout to take a nice hot bath.  I needed quiet time with myself to feel into what my body was trying to tell me.  I wasn’t going to get answers from anyone else.  People could tell me to let it go, you are worrying over nothing, but no words that anyone said were going to heal the pain.  I needed quiet time alone with me to go within and feel into the lessons that were right there in front of me.  There was SO MUCH healing that took place from this crazy incident that I am now super grateful for it.

How often do we create more anxiety for ourselves than we have to?  We spend countless hours, worrying, contemplating, hiding, being afraid, contracting and playing small.  At what cost? The time spent is NOT serving us.  We need to learn how to acknowledge and own what is going on, feel into the lesson and move on.  That is the only way through.

When we feel an emotion, it makes the experience of the opposite that much deeper. Maybe the situation you are going through is allowing you to experience deeper levels of Trust, Courage and Respect for yourself. How great is that!

Be grateful, feel the emotions and then let go.

March 8, 2017

Embrace Your Weirdness! What is Normal Anyway?

As millions of women gather in various places in honor of International Women’s day this week, I thought it was fitting to not only honor women who have stood up for many important causes as well as controversial topics over the years, but to also reflect upon what difference each one of us makes as a WOMAN.

Have you really ever thought about how BEING who you are not WHAT YOU DO, makes a difference in someone’s life? I encourage you to ACCEPT yourself for who you are.  No strings attached. Too many of us are focused on
1) seeking perfection (we want to be right and we don’t want to fail),
2) asking for permission (getting someone else’s approval) and
3) people pleasing, (or following the rules so we don’t hurt someone else’s feelings).

What would happen if you just showed up as who you are and did and said what felt good and in the moment.
… So what if you make a mistake and its not perfect
… So what if someone doesn’t like your idea, do you love it?  Go for it.
… So what if someone else misinterprets what you say or takes it personally

I myself have worried too much about what others will think of me.  If I say or do something that comes to mind, what will someone else think?  Is what I am doing or thinking NORMAL?
Weirdness2Many times we question, Is this “NORMAL”? We look for permission from others to see if what we are thinking or feeling is okay.  I many times catch myself saying things like “I’m just weird”, “Is that normal” or “I’m just crazy.”

What the heck is NORMAL anyway?!?!? Who defines what normal is? And if everyone were normal, what fun would that be? Where would the creativity and spontaneity be?

Why do we doubt ourselves and feel bad about what we think or feel? It could feel shameful, wrong, against the rules, or not approved by someone else. Why do we do this to ourselves?

I am done looking for normal
I am done trying to be normal
I am done trying to fit into someone else’s expectations of me
I am done looking for others to validate that what I think or feel is normal
I am done worrying about feeling weird or crazy, questioning if what I think or say is normal.

I know my truth and accept myself for who I am (weirdness and all). It takes courage to step up, claim your power, speak your truth and use your voice. Step into confidence, ask for what you really want and command the respect and credibility that you deserve. It all begins with accepting and claiming ALL OF YOU! Weird parts and all.

If every woman embraced her weirdness, we would see so many more creative, strategic, innovative ideas being born. There is no need for validation from others. Be who you are weird, crazy, quirks and all. It’s all good. In fact, those are likely the things that make you special and unique.

SO EMBRACE YOUR WEIRDNESS TODAY!

 

February 21, 2017

Thank You and It Takes A Village

Gift

As a special thanks to all of my subscribers, I have decided to provide some BONUSES for you. We all know that it takes a village to raise a child, but it also takes a village to help each of us grow in our own journey’s as well and I have 3 special offers for you.

 

 

1) FREE CONSULT: If you are someone who could use help in transforming your passions into actions for your life, I want to support you. I have challenged myself to serve 20 women in the next 2 weeks with a FREE consultation.  We will discuss how to help set you up for success so you claim what you really want for your life and your career.

To schedule your NO OBLIGATION consult click HERE

2) INFORMATIONAL INTERVIEWS: I am looking for volunteers to participate in a series of interviews around the challenge that women face in the corporate world. If you or someone you know would be a good candidate for this interview, please let me know.  I am scheduling to have interviews completed by the end of March.

To participate in an interview send an email to Jen@thefreedomkeys.com  (Draft Interview questions will be sent ahead of time so that you can prepare for our discussion)

3) SPOTLIGHT SECTION: I have decided to create a spotlight section in my newsletter to provide you with even more value and suggest other practitioners and resources that might be of benefit to you.  You will see our first Sponsor Highlight below.   If you are interested in a spotlight section, please send an email to Jen@thefreedomkeys.com 

I would like to Spotlight two friends Karen Carlson of Be Well Massage and Brenda Gray of Hypnosis for Change.  They are hosting an event that will enlighten you to 10 simple techniques you can integrate into your daily lives to create wellness, relaxation, and a sense of well-being.

You Won’t Believe How 10 Simple Wellness Techniques Will Change Your Life

Date: March 22, 2017
Time: 6-8:00pm
Place: Ruah Center, 1110 Washington Street, Naperville, IL
Tickets: http://bit.ly/2lxh4A9
Questions?  Call Brenda 815-557-9752 or Karen 630.542.7573

 

 

February 8, 2017

I Faced My Fear

How many of us have the courage to face our fears? Its so much easier to run away and hide from them, than it is to face them.  If we can point the finger or blame someone else for a situation, then we keep ourselves in that fear mentality.  We are choosing to not take responsibility in the moment.  How are we modeling that for our kids?  Do your kids see you talking about your fears and facing them?`

I want to share a recent story from my 7 year old son.  We went to his brothers hockey tournament and of course he wanted to stop at the snack bar and get a bag of chips for the game.  I gave him a couple of dollars and suggested that if he really wanted the snack that he could go to the counter and order himself.  He looked at me and said, “no you do it”.  I looked back at him and said, “mommy is right here.  If you really want the chips you will go and pay for it yourself.”  He proceeded to refuse.  I then told him I was NOT going to buy it for him.  As you can imagine he was not a happy little camper. He was very upset with me and didn’t want to speak to me. He was pouting.

face fearThe afternoon passed and a few hours later there was a second hockey game. Andy said mommy “can I have money for a snack? I’ll do it this time.”  I was surprised.  I watched and waited as he went to the snack bar all by himself.  He then came back and said “‘Mommy, I did it I faced my fear!”.

I was so proud of my little guy.  He must obviously hear me talk about facing our fears all the time for him to be so confident and proud in saying what he did.  This was a great example for me in standing my ground and not giving in just to please a kid.  He experience what it was like to pout and not get his way.  He learned it didn’t work.  Then next time he learned how to step up and take responsibility for his actions.

Happy Kid.  Happy Mom!

January 23, 2017

What are Three Little Words that Hurt Our Self Care Practices?

You hear phrases like, nurture yourself, self-care, take time for you, etc… You know self-care is important, but if you are overwhelmed like I was, you almost don’t know where to begin.  You know that something feels off.  You know that you have this burning desire for something more.  You know that in your gut that something is missing, BUT where do you even begin?  Will anyone even care if I start taking time out for me?  Will anyone even notice?  Will one small act REALLY make a difference?  You will be surprised at how little things can make a big difference.  The first step though is really looking at what you care about.

Do you REALLY care about how you look?
Do you REALLY care about how you are perceived?
Do you REALLY care about being put together?
Do you REALLY care that your house is messy or clean?

What we think to ourselves about ourselves REALLY does matter.  If we even think to ourselves that things really don’t matter, then we will continue to bring it on.  For what we think about, we bring about. I can remember as a little girl thinking that certain things didn’t really matter to me.  I didn’t care.

lovecarebodyThe 3 little words that hurt our self-care practice is “I DON’T CARE” or Nobody Cares!

How often you find yourself saying the words “I don’t care”.   If we look at this more closely, that means “SELF DOESN’T CARE”.  WOW.  We know our words are powerful, but when you continue to repeat the phrase I don’t care, you might not realize how often you are bringing “not caring” into your life.

Three years ago my word of the year was NURTURE.  I focused on self-care from a variety of different angles.   I began to take time for me.  I began to meditate, rest, eat better, focus on spiritual, mental and emotional aspects of self, however I forgot one piece “the physical”.  I let it go.I started off the year focusing on nurturing me, and then life and business got in the way.  I didn’t spend as much time on self- care.  I also didn’t realize that I was sabotaging myself by consistently using the words nobody cares.

I would find myself constantly saying, nobody cares around here.   Nobody gives a shit.  Does that sound familiar?  WOW!   Since my word of the year was NURTURE, the Universe was pushing things into my life to remind myself that my intention was to NURTURE myself.  So when I wasn’t in alignment with my intention, the energy of the Universe sent messages my way to remind me of how I wanted to be and also sent me “not caring” messages, because I was actually inadvertently asking for them.

Self-care is MORE than taking time for you.  Some people begin with eating healthier and exercising.  These are both great places to start, however, SELF-CARE is BIGGER than that.  It is paying attention to the words we choose and where we give our power away.   Whenever you say, I don’t know or I don’t care, you are giving your power away and in fact, asking for nobody to care.  The next time you find yourself saying those words, take a pause and really think about what you REALLY want in that situation.  I bet your will find new opportunities for you.

January 16, 2017

The Last Time

You never know the last time that your child might do something cute.  Especially if you have multiple kids.  The first time a child walks, talks, or has a milestone, we tend to take a lot of time and energy ogling over the experience.  The more kids you have, sometimes the less we remember to capture those moments, but you never know the last time you will witness their childlike glee in things that they enjoy.

I have 4 boys ranging from the ages of 17 to 7.  This year my son started to question me about the real Santa Claus.  I saw a post on facebook on how a family shared the news with their children about Santa Claus and it sounded like an awesome tradition and way to share the news with them in a fun way. I tried to explain to him one day that Santa wasn’t real and after our experience it didn’t work. He said, are we going to see the real santa now.

The evening of x-mas was absolutely amazing.  I saw the excitement on his face as we gathered the carrots for the reindeer and put out the milk and cookies for Santa.  It all had to be perfectly placed. I could see his eyes beaming from ear to ear. Then the following morning I got to see him run down the stairs and look at the tree.  He was so excited. His expression was priceless as I basked in the glow of witnessing and remembering this experience forever

Then the worst of all things happened.  Andy’s present decided to not arrive in the mail.  So I had to scramble and find a new gift for him  When he opened his gift he did not seem excited.  He also made a comment about seeing some of the wrapping paper in my office for one of the gifts. He was very quiet that day.

A couple weeks later he whispered to me.  My shoes weren’t from Santa you know., they were from you and Danny.  I don’t think there really is a Santa. My heart broke.   I tried to have the conversation with him so that he wouldn’t find out and be disappointed like he was. However, there is a part of me that is glad that I was able to witness his childlike joy and curiosity one last time.  If he knew Santa wasn’t real then I would not have this last experience of his childlike wonder.

You never know the last time you might experience a special moment with someone, so treasure every moment to its fullest.

last time

January 5, 2017

Has any one told you to stop playing the victim?

This past week I had two opportunities show up in my life that really tested me.  My family has been looking for a dog and it seemed like everything was falling into place with grace and ease.  I was excited and nervous at the same time.  I kept praying and asking for guidance on what we should do.  While I was a bit nervous, I decided to take the leap and follow the signs I kept getting from spirit.  On Friday this week, I received a message that the family decided to keep the dog.

Of course my heart broke hearing the news that was not expected.  My first reaction was, “Really God?  Why?  I thought all signs were leading in this direction and now things shifted.  What did I miss?”  I started blaming, getting angry at God and questioning all that had transpired.

My coach saw a post of mine and said “STOP PLAYING THE VICTIM”.  There is something better out there and God knows what the best answer is for your family.  He rearranged this for a reason.  Look for the evidence and expect that something is coming. Many other people provided thoughtful encouraging words, which was great.  But what really caught me in my tracks was “STOP PLAYING THE VICTIM JEN”.  Many people might not like hearing those words.  I didn’t like hearing it, but I GOT THE LESSON.  I loved all of the other supporting encouraging words from people, which was SUPER NICE.  Those messages didn’t get to the CORE of the issue at hand.  I was sulking.  I was playing small.  I was blaming God.  Really? What good is that going to do?

I had another instance happen with a very dear friend where I wanted something, but wasn’t clear on what I was asking for and when I didn’t get the response I was looking for, I shut down. I was already in a “bad place” emotionally and I PLAYED VICTIM AGAIN.  She didn’t tell me I was playing the victim, but was DIRECT and HONEST with her feelings and put me in my place.  I felt terrible and never meant any harm by what I said.  Subconsciously I was trying to get a reaction by not being honest with my own feelings.

This is what stepping into and claiming your power is all about.  LEAVING VICTIM MENTALITY BEHIND, no matter what the issue.  It could be as small as not getting the answer you were expecting to experiencing a death in the family.  There is a series of feelings that need to be felt, however, if you are not honest with yourself and others you pave the way for conflict and victim mentality in your relationships.

victimHow many times are people not really honest with you about how they feel for fear of hurting your feelings? Being nice doesn’t support your higher good.

Did I like hearing the feedback I got? NOPE.
Did I learn from it? YES
Will I be more cautious next time? YOU BET!

I intend to be OPEN, HONEST and DIRECT in my communications with people.  I also will keep up my enthusiasm and see the beauty and gift in every circumstance.  I will not let myself wallow in my own pain, but rather lift myself up and out.  I KNOW and BELIEVE that God is directly my life.  It won’t always look like a straight line, but if I continue to have faith, look for the evidence and expect bigger and better things, then something better will come around.

“Playing the victim only blinds you to your own flaws so you can never improve yourself.   Self pity is the easiest way to create unilateral misery”

Embrace the unknown
November 16, 2016

Embrace the Unknown

Are you the type of person who HAS to have a plan? Do you need to know everything that is going to happen in order to reach your specific destination? It’s hard to let things just happen, especially in a culture where we have so many demands on our time and we are often trying to squeeze in as much as we can. I know that this method typically leaves you feeling stressed and overwhelmed.

Have you ever set a goal, had the very best intentions of meeting that goal, but ended up falling short? Did you ever think that maybe you tried too hard to put all of the pieces in place yourself?

I had an experience recently where I was reviewing a personal goal I set for myself and started questioning how on earth I was going to reach it. My initial thought was I must create a plan so that I can put all the puzzle pieces together. I thought to myself, “All I need to do is create a spreadsheet, lay it all out and then work the plan.”

Well, reality hit me right in the face.

Let’s face it, sometimes life doesn’t work out that way. I could have the best laid out plans and force myself into meeting a goal as the action steps described. It doesn’t mean the goal was wrong, it just means that I put too much pressure on myself to reach it in the time frame I outlined for myself and I likely stifled my growth by outlining every specific action that I needed to take to achieve the goal.

I read an article on “The Law of Detachment” that said when we are attached to the outcome of something, we limit ourselves to what is possible. When we have the need for control and want to know everything, we create a false sense of security. Security is an illusion. The only thing that is real is uncertainty. There is wisdom, creativity, and freedom in uncertainty. This whole experience brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “Let Go and Let God”.

When you have a desire, try these steps:
1) Set an intention and visualize the dream
2) Design a strategy (become aware of taking consistent small steps, but steer away from building a workplan)
3) Breathe, Let Go, and have Faith in the unknown
4) Believe in all that is possible

When you truly have faith in the unknown, anything is possible.

November 10, 2016

Give Saying YES a Chance

How do we stop body shaming? How can we put an end to deprivation? The first step is we must be willing, open, and ready to saying YES to ourselves.

But how? Saying YES is not always an easy step. It can feel easier to say no and close the door to risk, chance, and new possibilities. It can feel scary to say yes. When we choose comfort and safety over the unknown, we are hiding from reality. We are hiding from our own truth.

And here’s the truth… the only real constant in our lives is change.

Look around you. Life is constantly offering you opportunity! It can be as simple as left or right, or black or white. These choices you are faced with are usually as simple as saying yes or no. But here’s the thing, if you aren’t open to change, you are living in a state of fear.

Your vibration is low and you attract more of the same. Your belief system no longer serves you.

This is when it’s time to stop and take notice.

Start right now. I want you to stop and notice the choices that you are making on a daily basis. What are you saying yes to? What are you saying no to?

Think about what it would be like saying yes to YOU. When you finally say yes to you, you unlock the door to the treasure within.

CHALLENGE: I am challenging you to say YES. What is one thing you can do today to say YES to YOU?