April 26, 2017

Should I Spend Money on That?

How many of you find yourself struggling with “SHOULD I SPEND MONEY ON THAT?

What have you been taught about money?  Have you been taught the following?:

Money is the root of all evil
Money is not that important, its just money
Money doesn’t grow on trees, it is a limited resource
You need to save for a rainy day
It is selfish to want a lot of money

These are just a few of the top money and abundance blocks out there. I have personally struggled with my thoughts and beliefs about money.  It is never something that I really focused on.  However, as I created intentional focus on my thoughts and beliefs about money, I have seen some shifts in my life.

Money is a representation of the value that you provide to others.  It is an exchange for goods or services rendered.  It’s all about defining the VALUE that is created by the exchange.

How often do you make decisions based on a lack or scarcity mentality as opposed to an abundance and and prosperity mentality?  Many times we don’t invest in ourselves, because we are afraid to spend the money.  Which is the exact opposite of what we really want.  We allow ourselves to punish or sabotage ourselves unknowingly by not being true to ourselves and our desires.

KayakI remember last summer I was reintroduced to my love of kayaking.  One day I decided to take two of my boys for a surprise and went to the Naperville Riverwalk so that we could rent a kayak and go on the water,   When I got there, I looked at the price of the paddleboat vs. the price of the kayak.  While I REALLY wanted to rent the kayak, it was like $25 MORE than the paddleboat.  So I stood there, and questioned myself.  WHAT SHOULD I DO?  WHAT SHOULD I SPEND MY MONEY ON?

I almost rented the paddleboat and then something in me said NO.  You came here to kayak, so spend the extra money and get the kayak.  That is the REAL EXPERIENCE you want to have.   There is value behind the experience of having your boys experience a kayak vs. the paddleboat.  Don’t sell yourself short.   I did choose to rent the kayaks and we had an AMAZING experience.  I felt so good about my decision and the experience we had.  If I wouldn’t have spent the money, I would have felt bad that I didn’t listen to myself and would have wondered what we might have missed out on, however in the past I have deprived myself or chosen NOT to do something and ended staying in my comfort zone.  This felt SO MUCH BETTER and because I was true to myself and in alignment with what I wanted, I started to see shifts with my kids.  That was reason enough to say yes to my own desires.

How many of us, stop in our tracks and don’t spend money on what we REALLY want, thinking another option might save us money.  Each situation and person is unique on what they define as valuable, however, what I learned about myself was that when I saw VALUE in something, I would invest the money on it, however, if I saw it as wasteful or not worth it, then I wouldn’t spend the money.

I encourage you to think about WHERE YOU SPEND OR INVEST YOUR MONEY.  Do you invest in things for yourself?  If NOT, I would encourage you to reflect on why you are not valuing yourself enough to invest money in yourself.   Things shift for us when we are willing and open to shift our thinking. What could happen IF YOU INVESTED IN YOURSELF TODAY?

March 22, 2017

Do you hold onto things that Paralyze you?

How many of us hold on to things that paralyze us?

Something happens and we spin in a cycle of anger, shame or humiliation and can’t seem to get ourselves out of it. The only way out is through. Accept what happened, feel the wave of emotions and then let them go. All emotions are portals to our next phase of learning and healing  It does us no good to complain about a situation or to wallow in our suffering or anxiety.  It’s also important to know that there are no good or bad feelings.   All feelings show up to teach us a lesson.  We must not label them and look for the gift that is available to us.

When we thank the situation for the gifts that it brings, we are able to feel in the moment, lean into the lesson, let go and move on…

If you are angry, maybe the lesson is trust yourself more.
If you are shameful, maybe the lesson is to have more courage and be enthusiastic about taking bold steps in your future..
If you feel humiliation, maybe the lesson is to claim more respect
If you are 

Releae let go

I had an experience last week that was absolutely humiliating.  It created so much anxiety in my body that I almost couldn’t function.  I kept reliving the experience and beating myself up.  When I realized what I was doing, I decided to give myself a timeout to take a nice hot bath.  I needed quiet time with myself to feel into what my body was trying to tell me.  I wasn’t going to get answers from anyone else.  People could tell me to let it go, you are worrying over nothing, but no words that anyone said were going to heal the pain.  I needed quiet time alone with me to go within and feel into the lessons that were right there in front of me.  There was SO MUCH healing that took place from this crazy incident that I am now super grateful for it.

How often do we create more anxiety for ourselves than we have to?  We spend countless hours, worrying, contemplating, hiding, being afraid, contracting and playing small.  At what cost? The time spent is NOT serving us.  We need to learn how to acknowledge and own what is going on, feel into the lesson and move on.  That is the only way through.

When we feel an emotion, it makes the experience of the opposite that much deeper. Maybe the situation you are going through is allowing you to experience deeper levels of Trust, Courage and Respect for yourself. How great is that!

Be grateful, feel the emotions and then let go.

March 8, 2017

Embrace Your Weirdness! What is Normal Anyway?

As millions of women gather in various places in honor of International Women’s day this week, I thought it was fitting to not only honor women who have stood up for many important causes as well as controversial topics over the years, but to also reflect upon what difference each one of us makes as a WOMAN.

Have you really ever thought about how BEING who you are not WHAT YOU DO, makes a difference in someone’s life? I encourage you to ACCEPT yourself for who you are.  No strings attached. Too many of us are focused on
1) seeking perfection (we want to be right and we don’t want to fail),
2) asking for permission (getting someone else’s approval) and
3) people pleasing, (or following the rules so we don’t hurt someone else’s feelings).

What would happen if you just showed up as who you are and did and said what felt good and in the moment.
… So what if you make a mistake and its not perfect
… So what if someone doesn’t like your idea, do you love it?  Go for it.
… So what if someone else misinterprets what you say or takes it personally

I myself have worried too much about what others will think of me.  If I say or do something that comes to mind, what will someone else think?  Is what I am doing or thinking NORMAL?
Weirdness2Many times we question, Is this “NORMAL”? We look for permission from others to see if what we are thinking or feeling is okay.  I many times catch myself saying things like “I’m just weird”, “Is that normal” or “I’m just crazy.”

What the heck is NORMAL anyway?!?!? Who defines what normal is? And if everyone were normal, what fun would that be? Where would the creativity and spontaneity be?

Why do we doubt ourselves and feel bad about what we think or feel? It could feel shameful, wrong, against the rules, or not approved by someone else. Why do we do this to ourselves?

I am done looking for normal
I am done trying to be normal
I am done trying to fit into someone else’s expectations of me
I am done looking for others to validate that what I think or feel is normal
I am done worrying about feeling weird or crazy, questioning if what I think or say is normal.

I know my truth and accept myself for who I am (weirdness and all). It takes courage to step up, claim your power, speak your truth and use your voice. Step into confidence, ask for what you really want and command the respect and credibility that you deserve. It all begins with accepting and claiming ALL OF YOU! Weird parts and all.

If every woman embraced her weirdness, we would see so many more creative, strategic, innovative ideas being born. There is no need for validation from others. Be who you are weird, crazy, quirks and all. It’s all good. In fact, those are likely the things that make you special and unique.

SO EMBRACE YOUR WEIRDNESS TODAY!

 

March 1, 2017

A Touching Mother Daughter Story

This past month my mother asked to come to my women’s circle for the first time.  She has always been curious about it, but hesitant to invite herself.   In my heart I felt it was the right timing.   We did an activity, where I asked everyone to share one hobby that they absolutely love.  I was initially surprised, but then inspired by her answer.

Mom ResultsMom said “I love my Isagenix.  It has changed my life.”  At first I thought what an odd thing to mention as a hobby, but in the spirit of no judgment, I let her proceed to explain why and my heart began to melt.  When I started the program my goal was weight loss.  I wanted to look and feel good again in my body.  I didn’t really have any aches or pains.  But mom on the other hand, has had a variety of different health issues.  She explained how she had very little energy and had a hard time getting through the day.  She also had really bad knee and joint pain.

After being on the product, she found that she had more energy, less pain and she lost over 35 pounds and 50 inches.  To top it off she has this aliveness about her that I haven’t seen in years.  My mom has always been a loving giving person who focused on giving to others and not focusing on herself.  It warms my heart to see that she has finally taken the time to do something for her.

She said I will be on this product for life, I FEEL SO GOOD!!!!

I was totally not expecting that.  While I experienced weight loss and a new zest for life, she experience SO MUCH MORE. The PAIN was minimized or gone. How many people live with PAIN until it is too much to bear?

I know Isagenix has the power to help with a variety of different health issues, its just that I had never personally experienced alot of PAIN, or maybe didn’t realize it.  I didn’t know what it felt like to have a hard time walking, to struggle to have the energy to keep up with kids or grandkids, to physically be in pain throughout the entire day, but still keep on a happy face and move on through the day.

My mom’s success had been a huge motivator for me to get back out there are share the benefits of this amazing product. I am starting a 30 day challenge on March 15.  I would love to have you join me.   You will not only have the benefits of the product itself, but you will have the support of a certified coach who can guide you along the way.

The interesting part of this whole experience, is that the weight loss and increased energy came with absolutely no working out.  I am not advocating for no movement, however, I want to share the benefits that you don’t have to focus on changing eating habits AND adding in exercise at the same time in order to reach some of your health and weight loss goals.

PhraseEvery positive change in your life begins with a clear, unequivocal decision, that you are going to either DO SOMETHING or STOP DOING SOMETHING.   It all begins with CHOOSING TO DECIDE you want more for your life.  Start giving your body the nutrition it needs.  You will be amazed at the life transforming results.

Contact Jen at Jen@thefreedomkeys.com for more information.

January 23, 2017

What are Three Little Words that Hurt Our Self Care Practices?

You hear phrases like, nurture yourself, self-care, take time for you, etc… You know self-care is important, but if you are overwhelmed like I was, you almost don’t know where to begin.  You know that something feels off.  You know that you have this burning desire for something more.  You know that in your gut that something is missing, BUT where do you even begin?  Will anyone even care if I start taking time out for me?  Will anyone even notice?  Will one small act REALLY make a difference?  You will be surprised at how little things can make a big difference.  The first step though is really looking at what you care about.

Do you REALLY care about how you look?
Do you REALLY care about how you are perceived?
Do you REALLY care about being put together?
Do you REALLY care that your house is messy or clean?

What we think to ourselves about ourselves REALLY does matter.  If we even think to ourselves that things really don’t matter, then we will continue to bring it on.  For what we think about, we bring about. I can remember as a little girl thinking that certain things didn’t really matter to me.  I didn’t care.

lovecarebodyThe 3 little words that hurt our self-care practice is “I DON’T CARE” or Nobody Cares!

How often you find yourself saying the words “I don’t care”.   If we look at this more closely, that means “SELF DOESN’T CARE”.  WOW.  We know our words are powerful, but when you continue to repeat the phrase I don’t care, you might not realize how often you are bringing “not caring” into your life.

Three years ago my word of the year was NURTURE.  I focused on self-care from a variety of different angles.   I began to take time for me.  I began to meditate, rest, eat better, focus on spiritual, mental and emotional aspects of self, however I forgot one piece “the physical”.  I let it go.I started off the year focusing on nurturing me, and then life and business got in the way.  I didn’t spend as much time on self- care.  I also didn’t realize that I was sabotaging myself by consistently using the words nobody cares.

I would find myself constantly saying, nobody cares around here.   Nobody gives a shit.  Does that sound familiar?  WOW!   Since my word of the year was NURTURE, the Universe was pushing things into my life to remind myself that my intention was to NURTURE myself.  So when I wasn’t in alignment with my intention, the energy of the Universe sent messages my way to remind me of how I wanted to be and also sent me “not caring” messages, because I was actually inadvertently asking for them.

Self-care is MORE than taking time for you.  Some people begin with eating healthier and exercising.  These are both great places to start, however, SELF-CARE is BIGGER than that.  It is paying attention to the words we choose and where we give our power away.   Whenever you say, I don’t know or I don’t care, you are giving your power away and in fact, asking for nobody to care.  The next time you find yourself saying those words, take a pause and really think about what you REALLY want in that situation.  I bet your will find new opportunities for you.

January 16, 2017

The Last Time

You never know the last time that your child might do something cute.  Especially if you have multiple kids.  The first time a child walks, talks, or has a milestone, we tend to take a lot of time and energy ogling over the experience.  The more kids you have, sometimes the less we remember to capture those moments, but you never know the last time you will witness their childlike glee in things that they enjoy.

I have 4 boys ranging from the ages of 17 to 7.  This year my son started to question me about the real Santa Claus.  I saw a post on facebook on how a family shared the news with their children about Santa Claus and it sounded like an awesome tradition and way to share the news with them in a fun way. I tried to explain to him one day that Santa wasn’t real and after our experience it didn’t work. He said, are we going to see the real santa now.

The evening of x-mas was absolutely amazing.  I saw the excitement on his face as we gathered the carrots for the reindeer and put out the milk and cookies for Santa.  It all had to be perfectly placed. I could see his eyes beaming from ear to ear. Then the following morning I got to see him run down the stairs and look at the tree.  He was so excited. His expression was priceless as I basked in the glow of witnessing and remembering this experience forever

Then the worst of all things happened.  Andy’s present decided to not arrive in the mail.  So I had to scramble and find a new gift for him  When he opened his gift he did not seem excited.  He also made a comment about seeing some of the wrapping paper in my office for one of the gifts. He was very quiet that day.

A couple weeks later he whispered to me.  My shoes weren’t from Santa you know., they were from you and Danny.  I don’t think there really is a Santa. My heart broke.   I tried to have the conversation with him so that he wouldn’t find out and be disappointed like he was. However, there is a part of me that is glad that I was able to witness his childlike joy and curiosity one last time.  If he knew Santa wasn’t real then I would not have this last experience of his childlike wonder.

You never know the last time you might experience a special moment with someone, so treasure every moment to its fullest.

last time

January 5, 2017

Has any one told you to stop playing the victim?

This past week I had two opportunities show up in my life that really tested me.  My family has been looking for a dog and it seemed like everything was falling into place with grace and ease.  I was excited and nervous at the same time.  I kept praying and asking for guidance on what we should do.  While I was a bit nervous, I decided to take the leap and follow the signs I kept getting from spirit.  On Friday this week, I received a message that the family decided to keep the dog.

Of course my heart broke hearing the news that was not expected.  My first reaction was, “Really God?  Why?  I thought all signs were leading in this direction and now things shifted.  What did I miss?”  I started blaming, getting angry at God and questioning all that had transpired.

My coach saw a post of mine and said “STOP PLAYING THE VICTIM”.  There is something better out there and God knows what the best answer is for your family.  He rearranged this for a reason.  Look for the evidence and expect that something is coming. Many other people provided thoughtful encouraging words, which was great.  But what really caught me in my tracks was “STOP PLAYING THE VICTIM JEN”.  Many people might not like hearing those words.  I didn’t like hearing it, but I GOT THE LESSON.  I loved all of the other supporting encouraging words from people, which was SUPER NICE.  Those messages didn’t get to the CORE of the issue at hand.  I was sulking.  I was playing small.  I was blaming God.  Really? What good is that going to do?

I had another instance happen with a very dear friend where I wanted something, but wasn’t clear on what I was asking for and when I didn’t get the response I was looking for, I shut down. I was already in a “bad place” emotionally and I PLAYED VICTIM AGAIN.  She didn’t tell me I was playing the victim, but was DIRECT and HONEST with her feelings and put me in my place.  I felt terrible and never meant any harm by what I said.  Subconsciously I was trying to get a reaction by not being honest with my own feelings.

This is what stepping into and claiming your power is all about.  LEAVING VICTIM MENTALITY BEHIND, no matter what the issue.  It could be as small as not getting the answer you were expecting to experiencing a death in the family.  There is a series of feelings that need to be felt, however, if you are not honest with yourself and others you pave the way for conflict and victim mentality in your relationships.

victimHow many times are people not really honest with you about how they feel for fear of hurting your feelings? Being nice doesn’t support your higher good.

Did I like hearing the feedback I got? NOPE.
Did I learn from it? YES
Will I be more cautious next time? YOU BET!

I intend to be OPEN, HONEST and DIRECT in my communications with people.  I also will keep up my enthusiasm and see the beauty and gift in every circumstance.  I will not let myself wallow in my own pain, but rather lift myself up and out.  I KNOW and BELIEVE that God is directly my life.  It won’t always look like a straight line, but if I continue to have faith, look for the evidence and expect bigger and better things, then something better will come around.

“Playing the victim only blinds you to your own flaws so you can never improve yourself.   Self pity is the easiest way to create unilateral misery”

January 3, 2017

Shift Your Energy Around Abundance

How do you feel about money and abundance? We all have a story around money, and it’s important to dive into it deeper. I attended a networking event once and the presentation was around understanding your perspectives around money and abundance and the story that many people have created for themselves.

It started with a quote from Albert Einstein: “Everything is energy and that is all there is to it, match the frequency of the reality you want and you can’t help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.”

The speaker then described the functioning of the brain and how we train and wire the brain into patterns that are repeated over and over. If we want to make a change, we need to consciously retrain and wire the brain, just like a new habit. This is true for money and abundance, too.

Here are 3 steps to help you get clear about your relationship with money and abundance…

Step #1 – Discover your money story – Do you recall any of these comments in your life? Money doesn’t grow on trees, we can’t afford that, I don’t need to spend the money on X… These types of thoughts have become part of the story we defined for ourselves around money and abundance. God wants abundance for us. He wants to do great things for us in this world. Many of us hold on to these “stories” which in essence create negative energies around abundance. We need to believe that we are WORTHY of abundance. However, if we don’t believe and have faith, then we close our minds to the possibilities of what could be.

Step #2 – Operation Affirmation – We need to put good thoughts and energy into our lives. They say what comes around goes around. If you put out negative energy, then that is what you get back. If we are constantly saying I can’t afford that, or complaining about something, then those are the things we attract to ourselves. If you generate good prosperous thoughts, then positive energy is what you get back. When trying to think about abundance in any area of life, it is important to focus on an intention and positive affirmation. Here was an example: “I easily and effortlessly accept money and abundance into my life in expected and unexpected ways.” This doesn’t mean you are going to win the lottery and become a millionaire, but it opens up the pathway for abundance to flow through to you in however God or the Universe chooses to provide.

Step #3 – Promise to Self – Consistent intention to be deliberate and diligent is important. It’s one thing to say we want something and another thing to REALLY want it. How many people say, “I want to lose weight,” and don’t. It is one’s belief and then the actions that follow the belief that lead to the outcome. If you truly BELIEVE it will happen, then live as if you are where you want to be and the written or spoken words will begin to manifest.

I challenge you to think about your own personal beliefs and story around money and abundance. I truly believe that the universe and all living things are made of energy. Energy surrounds us and helps to create our futures. I have personally seen a variety of examples on how BELIEVING and having FAITH enables amazing things to happen.

Use these steps to help you get clear about your money and abundance stories, then shift your energy so that you can create the life that you want.

December 21, 2016

Enjoy the Real Moments

As you continue to rush around in an attempt to finish up your holiday preparations, remember to take some time to enjoy the REAL MOMENTS that life provides. It can be hard during the hustle and bustle of the holiday season to take time to experience everything, instead of trying so hard to get everything to be perfect. I want my family, my kids, my friends all to be happy and fulfilled. So I create these expectations in my own head that in many cases are unrealistic and then am sad when things don’t turn out as planned. Can you relate?

As I was reflecting this week I relished in a few REAL MOMENTS from years passed. Though brief, these moments reminded me of the true meaning of the holiday season. Enjoyment in life is not about the decorations, shopping, or presents, but being open and present for those REAL MOMENTS that arise. These moments happen every single day. I have been able to see and experience God in the spirit of each one of my family members in these REAL MOMENTS.

Here’s an example from a few years ago… I took one hour off work to watch my youngest son swim. I brought a pad of paper to do some work while I was watching. It’s such a busy time of year, so I thought I would multi-task and use my time wisely. But then I saw his cute little wet face pop out of the water. I watched him see me and wave to me. In that moment my heart wanted to be with just him. So I put down any planning thoughts and decided to just sit there, watch, and observe him swim. I am usually a DOER and not a WATCHER, so this was an out of the ordinary experience for me. He was so joyous in his movements in the water. Even though I was observing him through a window, I could almost feel his positive energy wanting me to just be present with him. It was incredible.

Think about your own lives. What REAL MOMENTS have you experienced with your loved ones? It can sometimes feel easier to enjoy REAL MOMENTS with your children, especially the younger ones who still have this sweet innocence, but sometimes its harder to pay attention to the REAL MOMENTS with our spouses or partners. Take that time, look harder. When you don’t have expectations and aren’t looking to create a moment, GOD creates the REAL MOMENT to experience.

I encourage you to sit back, relax and ENJOY the REAL MOMENTS this holiday season. From what I have experienced, sometimes its the things that we don’t plan, where we allow ourselves to be still and see the spirit of GOD in one another that enable us to experience REAL MOMENTS.

“For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future full of hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

May you all have a blessed and Happy Holiday and a Wonderful New Year!

November 23, 2016

Finding Gratitude in Your Gifts

This week, I am feeling so grateful for all of the amazing things that have happened in my life to bring me to the place where I am today. I’m finding gratitude in my gifts, in the relationships I’ve made, and in the experiences I’ve had because of them.

As I’ve been reflecting about gratitude, I was reminded of an experience several years ago during International Women’s Day. I remember the first IWD event I attended which was held at Northwestern University. It was not just a day to renew and gather, but a day to connect with other like minded women and fill myself up with the amazing stories and experiences that came with the day. I was always motivated and re-energized after actively participating. After that experience, I knew I wanted to be more involved.

I had a dream that I wanted to speak at IWD, and a year after, that dream came true! Though I was often speaking about the story of my kids and all that I went through to help heal them, my life had been transforming even more and I had new gifts to share. I learned how to listen to the whispers in my soul and take a leap of faith to invest in me. Now that is a concept that I was never quite comfortable with, however I made the decision, found the right support, and had FAITH in the journey. I was able to overcome many obstacles along the way. I then shared my corporate story of how I felt “stuck in a muck” and what I did to transform my life from the inside out.

I have seen amazing changes in both my professional and personal life. I feel so honored and blessed to be able to share my story and celebrate with so many amazing women as we all continue to support one another on our journeys.

Listen to the Whispers
Learn to embrace SILENCE
Lead a life of presence and purpose

I was so amazed by all of the feedback and warm wishes received after the my speech. I am blessed to have touched the lives of everyone who heard my story and hope that it inspired them to listen to the whispers in their own souls. Have a wonderful day and remember, “if you listen to your body whisper, you don’t have to hear it scream.”

Be grateful for your gifts and share them with the world.