I have been taking ballroom dance lessons for a couple of years and have always like rhythm dancing, (like cha-cha, salsa, rumba…) but was hesitant to venture into smooth dancing (waltz foxtrot, tango…). I labeled it as BORING!
In June, I was called to buy a new dance dress and open to the world of smooth dancing. I had my first lesson last week and allowed myself to be open to learning new things. At the same time, my instructor showed me a new tip on how to improve my rhythm dancing, which was very exciting. Every Friday night the studio usually has a dance party, where you get to practice dancing. I was so excited to practice and show off my “new moves”. The instructors are wonderful and are always teaching us new things, but today I had the intention of impressing the owner of the studio with the new technique I learned. I wasn’t an expert yet, however, I was proud of myself and was excited to practice the new technique and get feedback on how I was progressing.
When the time came for the owner to ask me to dance, he chose THE FOXTROT!!!! My heart sunk. I was disappointed. This is the one dance I have NO CLUE how to do. Yes, they taught me a few steps 2 years ago, but I wasn’t too fond of the dance, so didn’t remember the steps. In the moment, I thought to myself, REALLY? This is NOT what I want? I am paying all this money for dance lessons and I wanted to get the opportunity to practice my new rhythm moves and now I have lost this opportunity. To top it off, I am dancing with the owner of the studio (who is very experienced) he doesn’t need to waste his time teaching me basic steps of the foxtrot. I want to learn more advanced moves from him, since I rarely get the opportunity to dance with him.
Do you ever do this to yourself? Get into your head and allow thoughts to race when things do NOT go as planned. This is NOT what I wanted, and I was resistant. I was kind of pouty like a little girl not getting her way.
I entered the dance feeling somewhat embarrassed, disappointed, frustrated and humiliated. I have been dancing for a couple years and SHOULD KNOW the basic steps. The truth is, I didn’t. Not only do I not know the steps, I don’t like the dance, it’s foreign to me. In my last lesson we started waltz and tango, but NOT the foxtrot. REALLY!! Did he have to pick this one? I don’t really like waltz, but I at least knew the basic steps and would have felt a bit better doing that dance. So now I am starting to get angry at myself and the situation and the lost opportunity of
Let’s break out the flashes of emotions that happened in a split second…
– Disappointment – He chose foxtrot as the dance
– Frustrated – I didn’t get to impress him with my new rhythm moves
– Embarrassed – I don’t know the steps and I have been here for 2 years
– Humiliated – feeling like I am wasting his time
– Mad – I am wasting my opportunity learning “basic” stuff and not more advanced moves
OMG – How often do we let our head get in the way!!!! Overthinking, over-analyzing, making meaning of stuff that just is. I had so many expectations for dancing with him that evening and when things did not go the way I envisioned them. I was not happy.
He met me where I was at without judgment. I was the one judging myself, feeling I should be better and know more in the moment. I followed his lead and danced. I was completely clueless and had no idea what the next move would be. I was uncomfortable, nervous and intimidated and yet surrendered myself in the moment and let him lead.
He moved me around the dance floor with such grace and ease. He gave me a tip that I didn’t need to push so much and to lean back, so I did. It was a simple beautiful dance. He complemented me for being open to learning a new dance. He honored where I was, I trusted him, and what started out as frustrating, quickly turned around, when I was able to “get out of my own head” and just be in the present moment.