March 7, 2022

Creating Romance in Your Relationship

If you are in a relationship, it is very likely that when you first started dating it was easy to spend time together.  You were head over heals in love with each other and put time and energy into the relationship to make your partner smile.  The truth of the matter is, anyone in a long-term relationship or marriage knows that the honeymoon magic starts to fade, and it can feel hard to reignite the spark and bring the romance back into your relationship.

This often happens simply because one or both people stop trying to create or pay attention to shared moments together.  There always seems to be something else to do or something more important.  In other relationships, couples can experience tension over who is going to get acceptance and acknowledgement from the other.  Women want to hear they are loved and beautiful and men want to hear they are good providers and have done a good job.  When either person is looking for acknowledgement from the other, it stops love in its tracks and the vicious love and respect cycle begins.

Romance is about creating an environment with a positive resonance.   This means creating an environment rich in sensory stimulation, physical proximity and time together.  These moments of positive resonance can’t be manufactured, but they can be cultivated and create memories that can last a lifetime.  They don’t just magically happen.  One person in the relationship must take the first step and create an environment conducive to create more love and romance.

What can you do, to create more ROMANCE in your relationship?

If YOU want more romance, intimacy and connection with your partner, YOU must take the lead to be in the consciousness of LOVE.  The happier YOU ARE in everyday things, the easier it will be to do something nice for you.  You see the key here is to BE IN RESONANCE OF LOVE so that you are a walking billboard of love.  Love, happiness and joy surround you all the time.  The goal is not for your man to rescue you, be your hero and pick you up when you are feeling down.   NOW, the beauty and benefit of a partnership is that when one person is having a difficult time, the other person can be there to support them, BUT the key to making this work is NOT to expect someone to save you.

Romance and love come from the heart.  A man will do something for a woman because he is inspired by the love and happiness she exudes, not because she tells him what to do or chases him by doing too much for him (like his mother).  So many of us women want love and romance and complain when he stops doing nice romantic things.  I want you to seriously reflect:

  • What are YOU doing for the relationship?
  • What are you doing to be in resonance with love?
  • How are YOU showing up?
  • What words are YOU using to describe your life, your partner, or your relationship?
  • How are YOU appreciating your man and yourself?
  • What can you do to “Spice” Things Up

 

 

 

 

 

March 7, 2022

Creating True Love and Partnership

HOW TO CREATE TRUE LOVE and PARTNERSHIP
If you really want to create true love and partnership in your life, you must begin by being in resonance with the consciousness of love.  It is learning to see the beauty, love and joy in everyone and everything, even when so called, “bad things” happen and not beating yourself up when things don’t go as expected.

In order to create this resonance of love, we must do more than “self-care” for ourselves.  Yes, making time for us is important and listed below are 30 simple and easy things you can do to focus on your physical, mental and emotional self-love practice.  While these are all wonderful things you can do for yourself, the goal is not to pick 3 things a day and check them off the list.  The intention is to keep love in the forefront of your mind and to bring love into every moment of every day.

Having a self-care morning practice is extremely important as it sets the tone for the day and having a self-care evening practice is wonderful as it allows you to relax and wind down before you go to sleep at night, so you can obtain a peaceful sleep.  We must not forget it is times during the day when everyday life activities happen that we need to keep LOVE in the forefront of our minds. We must remember the simple little things that bring us joy, happiness and pleasure in the precious moments of our day, not just during our “planned self-care time”.

 

PHYSICAL MENTAL EMOTIONAL
Drink herbal tea Read a book Buy yourself flowers
Take a luxurious bath Listen to music Say affirmations to yourself
Go out for a nice dinner Make a vision board Keep a gratitude journal
Get a manicure or pedicure Learn a new skill Light your favorite candle
Diffuse some oils Take a walk in nature Breathe and Meditate
Cook your favorite meal Turn your phone off Journal & reflect on the day
Exercise Listen to a motivational quote Call a friend
Get a massage Do a fun project Send a thinking of you text
Snuggle or a hug Paint, draw or write Make a candlelight dinner
Play with kids or dog Sing. Dance or laugh Go on a date

 

To experience any great relationship, you need to cultivate the relationship and make time for each other.  If you want to build relationships with customers, you make time for them. If you want to have a great relationship with your partner, you need to set an intention and put in time and effort daily.  The same goes with being in resonance of love.  You need to set focused intentions to have an epic love affair with yourself daily.  When you focus on living a life of love, you begin to radiate that love in all that you do.  It is not our partner’s job to make us happy and to remind us of how amazing we are.  It is OUR JOB to love ourselves so much that our love is overflowing and inspiring to others.

When you LOVE who you are at your CORE, your radiance shines so bright, that others are inspired by the love you exude in this world.

January 29, 2022

Love Is…

LOVE IS:

Sometimes the simplest question can be the most difficult to answer. My dad used to always say love is a verb, it’s an action, it is not just a feeling.  Love is something you freely give to make someone feel special without expecting anything else in return.

How many times do we often put conditions on our love without realizing it?  We want our kids to respect us and do what we say.  We want our partners to meet our needs.  We want our parents to accept our choices.   When someone doesn’t respond in the way we would like, it can be easy to get triggered or feel bad.  We have ALL done it.

The truth of the matter is that STRENGTH in love comes from being unconditional in our giving and not expecting anything from anyone in return.  It is truly being responsible for our own happiness.   Love can be described in so many ways.  I polled a bunch of people to ask them their definition of love and here are some answers

LOVE IS
 – Vulnerable – Allowing someone to see your flaws and imperfections with no judgment
– Effort – Putting in the time, energy and focused effort to show how much you care
 – Respect – Honoring and respecting each other’s beliefs, dreams, fears, faults and failures
– Accepting –  Not trying to change the other person, allow them the freedom to choose for themselves
– Compatible – Enjoying fun things to do together
– Great Conversation – Sharing deep intimate thoughts and moments together
– Growing – Learning from mistakes, taking personal responsibility and growing independently together
– Inspiring – Leading by example and Inspiring me to grow into a better version of myself
  – Patience – Trusting that time will heal
  – Kindness – Giving grace and forgiveness at all time
– Listening – Meeting someone where they are at and paying attention to their needs
– Living – Knowing each other’s language of love and living it

If you asked a child love might look like:
– coloring a picture with me
– making my favorite meal or taking me to my favorite restaurant
– tucking me into bed at night
– Making my lunch for school
– Asking me how my day was or helping me with my homework
– Playing ball with me
– Baking cookies together

It seems easy to outline these items above, however, I also want to share some tough times when it can be hard to show up in unconditional love

– accepting your loved one when they make a poor choice and not judging them for it
– knowing your kid appreciates you even though you don’t expect him to say it
– knowing your partner had a busy day and not seeking attention from him to brighten your day
– not worrying about feeling the need for validation when you send a text to your partner
– trusting your loved one when they make a decision that is different than what you would have chosen
– believing your partner will step up to the plate without you nagging him about how to do it
– letting go of control of how you believe something should be done
– patience in letting your kid make his own mistakes as opposed to saving him or telling him what to do

These are just a handful of situations where it can feel harder to show up in love and kindness.  Yes, we want to be there for our loved ones, BUT when their actions or choices trigger us, this is an opportunity for us to dig deeper and see how we can show up in more and more love.

LOVE changes people. LOVE inspires people. LOVE IS what makes the world a better place.

January 29, 2022

Shameless Self-Love

SHAMELESS SELF-LOVE

If women really want to experience the love and intimacy we crave, it begins with Shameless Self Love. I believe we create and manifest all aspects of our lives.  We magnetize our own reality to us and if we are not experiencing the love and intimacy we so desperately crave, let’s look at why!!!

What is getting in the way of you experiencing the depths of love you desire?

There is a part of us and our little girl that has a need to feel worthy and deserving of love and attention.  If we experienced any trauma or event as a little girl that skewed our vision of love, the imprint of that memory lives inside of our bodies (whether we consciously know it or not).   If we believe we should be punished or are not deserving of love, then we will not attract the type of love our heart truly desires. We will push away love, feeling we are not worthy of it or we will look to a man to rescue and save us from ourselves.  This is one of the many reasons so many marriages end up in divorce.

As a little girl, whenever I was afraid, I ran to my grandfather for love and attention.  That love and affection turned into inappropriate signs of love and skewed my view on love from boys and men.  I remember feeling like I always needed a boy in my life.  I didn’t know how to fill myself with love.  I thought I needed to find a man that would rescue me like grandpa did, but when I realized that type of love and affection was not appropriate, I felt ashamed and unworthy of the love I desired.  I had misunderstandings of what love really was ever since I was a little girl.  I can remember from a very young age, not feeling comfortable saying I LOVE YOU to my parents.  They used to say it all the time, but the words would never come out.   I always wondered why I didn’t feel comfortable saying I LOVE YOU, when they were such loving people.

– Did I feel they were NOT worthy and deserving of my LOVE?
– Did I feel betrayed by them?
– Did I feel they didn’t protect me?
– Did I feel that they hurt me?
– Did I feel abandoned by them?

These were some questions for ME to dive deeper into regarding my views of love.  We all have different perspective of what we were taught about love.  If you have struggled with putting yourself first and find it hard to give love to yourself, I encourage you to journal on some of the questions below:

  • What did your parents tell you about love and relationships?
  • How did your parents show love to each other?
  • Did your parents live a life serving others first? Or did they teach you the value of self-love?
  • Did you ever feel abandoned by either parent?
  • Did you feel your parents hurt you or didn’t protect you?

If we do not dive deeper into what we were taught about love as a little girl, it will impact NOT just our partnership, but it will also show up in other places in our lives, including our business.  LOVE is about self-respect, self-esteem, self-confidence, self- image and self-worth.  If we do not believe that we are worthy and deserving of love, money, happiness etc… then this imprint will expose itself in how you show up in ALL aspects of your life.  Truly loving yourself is valuing who you are!

If you want to experience blissful, epic love, you have to create it for yourself.  You can do this by embodying and embracing the highest consciousness of love first.  In this place, you will not only feel greater love, you will attract more of it to you.

Love starts within.  It begins with loving yourself so deeply that you feel it in your bones.  You begin to radiate a love so deep that that your radiance shines forth and you begin to attract more and more love to you.  You no longer need to look for love, you become love.  When you show up and radiate love, you open yourself up to the love you deserve.

So how exactly do you learn to love yourself first?  You allow your little girl to be free and awaken the Shameless Self-Love within you!

 

September 27, 2020

Rewiring our Brains for Pleasure

How many of you have felt frustrated, overwhelmed, stressed out, empty or unfulfilled? Many hardworking women feel this way, whether you work in corporate America, own your own business, or are a stay at home mom, it is easy to fall into the trap of trying to be everything for everyone. As women we have been programmed to be “people pleasers” and we rarely have time to take care of ourselves. It’s like we go through our days sleepwalking through life. We are so busy DOING, that we don’t know how to feel. When we do get time to rest, we are so exhausted that we feel NUMB.

On top of all the mental stress and anxiety, you find it hard getting “in the mood” for intimacy! Your partner wants to connect with you, and you just don’t feel up to it. You could live without sex, it’s not really that important to you.

BUT…What if connecting with your body was the answer? What if your partner nudging you to engage in physical intimacy was the exact medicine you needed?

When we are exhausted, our bodies are trying to tell us something, but most of the time we don’t listen. It is important to know there is magic and wisdom here, but many of us are too afraid to see it. We want our partners to connect with us emotionally, our partners want us to connect with them physically. God made us both to support each other on the journey. What if, being in your body was the key to transforming your life?

What if…

you no longer felt numb, you felt alive.
you no longer felt pain, you felt pleasure.
you no longer felt empty, you felt fulfilled.

We can all do this by rewiring the programming of our brain so that we can better connect with our bodies as opposed to fight with them. The first step is acknowledging where we are in our mindset journey. Then, we can begin the process of surrender. This is a process where we are not DOING, but rather FEELING and BEING. If it feels uncomfortable, THAT IS OK! In fact, that is GREAT! You know why? Because you are listening to your body and feeling something uncomfortable. You don’t know how something feels unless you DO IT! There is magic and wisdom in every step of the way.

Just imagine what your life could be like if you made the decision to commit to loving and connecting with your body on a regular basis? There are a variety of different embodiment practices here at The Freedom Key’s that can help you to connect with your body in a healthy and safe way, but the very first step is to acknowledge how your body is feeling without judging it. This is a critical part in the process. It might not seem like a fun, however your body is providing insights on how to listen all the time. It is ok to feel uncomfortable and step outside of your comfort zone. That is the BEST time to take yourself to a new level of growth. If it was easy, we would ALL be doing it right? It’s one thing to say you want to do something, but it’s another to make the choice to commit to something.

Let’s compare this to another life example…

When someone starts to lift weights, do you think it’s easy and comfortable right away? HECK NO! But you test out the weight and see what feels comfortable to you. Is it too heavy, too light or just right? Maybe you need to adjust your stance a little. Maybe you just need to practice a few more times to see how it feels. If you just ignore your body, you will get the same results you are currently getting. Sound familiar?

February 26, 2020

TOE DIPPING INTO SEXUALITY

TOE DIPPING INTO SEXUALITY


When I first started exploring my sexuality, I was curious but nervous as HELL!!!  I remember thinking to myself, I am a “GOOD CATHOLIC GIRL”!!!  Who am I to be curious to explore this taboo topic of sex?  If people find out they are going to think I am a pervert or there is something wrong with me.  In my heart I could feel this hunger deep inside of me, calling me to explore this taboo topic of sex, but at the same time, it felt wrong.  It was almost like the story of Adam and Eve, where Eve was being tempted to eat of the forbidden fruit. So, while I was curious, a part of me was scared and didn’t want anyone to know.

So, I hid.  I tried to bury the desire, but it wouldn’t go away.  I tried to pretend it didn’t exist and that it wasn’t important.  But something inside of me kept leading me to explore.  Does that sound familiar to you?

Did you grow up in a household where there wasn’t much talk about sex? Were your religious or cultural beliefs so foundational to the bedrock of your life that sex was a topic of little importance?  You likely got the birds and the bees talk, but what did your parents really teach you about sex? I have interviewed hundreds of men and women and I typically get 3 answers to this basic question.

  • NOTHING
  • Don’t do it until you are married
  • Use protection

There is so much focus on education in our world today, however, SEX is not at the top of the list.  SEX appears to be this TABOO topic people are uncomfortable talking about.  THE NAKED TRUTH is that our sexuality as men and women are at the CORE of WHO WE ARE.  If we are not taught how to embrace our sexuality, we cannot fully come to know ourselves.  Society and culture teach us to FEAR sex rather than EMBRACE it.  So how can we begin to learn about healthy sexuality, when there are no platforms for this topic?

My vision is to create a better world for women where healthy sexuality is no longer considered taboo, shameful, or dirty.  A world where men and women no longer suffer in silence or settle for mediocre relationships.  A world where sexual abuse is no longer hushed and tolerated. A world where healthy sexuality is respected and life-giving.

I Invite to you to say YES to the journey of redefining the power of sexuality, where you can create intimate partnerships, practice sacred sex and experience the lasting love that your soul craves.

October 2, 2017

The Mind Knows, but the Body Experiences

This past week my son Andy (8 year old) was in the playoffs for baseball.  At one point during the game there was an overthrow to 1st base.  Typically at this age, they do not run, they only take a base, however, a decision was made that they were going to let the kids run since it was the playoffs.

So imagine a kid overthrowing from 3rd base to 1st.  They have been taught how to throw and what happens when you over throw it, but never experienced the consequence.  Well this day they did.  One kid overthrew the ball and the kids didn’t really know what to do to field the  ball, however, the kids running didn’t stop running they just kept going. They ended up scoring and making the game much closer than it was.

I share this story, because sometimes kids need to EXPERIENCE something before they really understand the lesson.  You could tell them to you were blue in the face what to do when a ball is overthrown, but if you never experienced it you don’t know how you will react.

The same goes for adults.  So many people are focused on self help and motivational books.  A lot of training is moving online.  It makes it simpler and easier to access, which is great.  BUT, sometimes even us adults need to practice and experience something before we have really learned the lesson.

How many of us KNOW what to eat, and still don’t do it.
How many of us KNOW we need to exercise and still don;t do it
How many of us KNOW the benefits of meditation, and still don’t do it.

It is time to STOP just learning and building up knowledge.  This is a great first step, however, its time to take action and experience the lesson and the work.

June 2, 2017

The Opposite of Faith is Doubt

How often do you question yourself and wonder if you are making right decision?  You sometimes have great ideas but get stuck in analysis paralysis.  You don’t want to just jump into something.  You want to be sure that you are smart about this and make a strategic decision.

So you pause, and then think.
You create a pros and con list.
You analyze.

More doubts and questions start to creep in.
New worrisome thoughts enter your head
You analyze some more.

You seek advice and get thoughts from friends
Depending on who you talk with, you might have MORE questions
And then you end up in this vicious spinning cycle of over thinking and over analyzing.

Why do we do this to ourselves?  Our heart knows the answer, however, we don’t always listen to it.  We allow our mind to get involved.  We want to ensure we make the “right” decision.  We don’t want to look bad.  We don’t want to make a mistake, so we take more time than necessary to make decisions, or worse, we don’t make a decision at all.

What if rather than doubting, you trusted and had faith.  Mel Robbins talks about the 5 second rule.  We can do anything in 5 seconds, after 5 seconds we start to doubt.  What is your first thought?  Is it yes or no?

shutterstock_170589149

If it is not a hell yes, then it is a hell no

It is when we start to focus on the HOW’s that doubts start to creep in. When we try to control the outcome, we tend to create unneeded pressure on ourselves.   It is not our job to focus on the HOW, that is God’s job.  Our job is to create the vision and believe.  To ask for daily guidance on the next best actions to take. ,

The next time you have an important decision to make, don’t allow yourself a lot of time to make the decision.  Listen to your gut, decide and have faith in what you have chosen.

April 26, 2017

Should I Spend Money on That?

How many of you find yourself struggling with “SHOULD I SPEND MONEY ON THAT?

What have you been taught about money?  Have you been taught the following?:

Money is the root of all evil
Money is not that important, its just money
Money doesn’t grow on trees, it is a limited resource
You need to save for a rainy day
It is selfish to want a lot of money

These are just a few of the top money and abundance blocks out there. I have personally struggled with my thoughts and beliefs about money.  It is never something that I really focused on.  However, as I created intentional focus on my thoughts and beliefs about money, I have seen some shifts in my life.

Money is a representation of the value that you provide to others.  It is an exchange for goods or services rendered.  It’s all about defining the VALUE that is created by the exchange.

How often do you make decisions based on a lack or scarcity mentality as opposed to an abundance and and prosperity mentality?  Many times we don’t invest in ourselves, because we are afraid to spend the money.  Which is the exact opposite of what we really want.  We allow ourselves to punish or sabotage ourselves unknowingly by not being true to ourselves and our desires.

KayakI remember last summer I was reintroduced to my love of kayaking.  One day I decided to take two of my boys for a surprise and went to the Naperville Riverwalk so that we could rent a kayak and go on the water,   When I got there, I looked at the price of the paddleboat vs. the price of the kayak.  While I REALLY wanted to rent the kayak, it was like $25 MORE than the paddleboat.  So I stood there, and questioned myself.  WHAT SHOULD I DO?  WHAT SHOULD I SPEND MY MONEY ON?

I almost rented the paddleboat and then something in me said NO.  You came here to kayak, so spend the extra money and get the kayak.  That is the REAL EXPERIENCE you want to have.   There is value behind the experience of having your boys experience a kayak vs. the paddleboat.  Don’t sell yourself short.   I did choose to rent the kayaks and we had an AMAZING experience.  I felt so good about my decision and the experience we had.  If I wouldn’t have spent the money, I would have felt bad that I didn’t listen to myself and would have wondered what we might have missed out on, however in the past I have deprived myself or chosen NOT to do something and ended staying in my comfort zone.  This felt SO MUCH BETTER and because I was true to myself and in alignment with what I wanted, I started to see shifts with my kids.  That was reason enough to say yes to my own desires.

How many of us, stop in our tracks and don’t spend money on what we REALLY want, thinking another option might save us money.  Each situation and person is unique on what they define as valuable, however, what I learned about myself was that when I saw VALUE in something, I would invest the money on it, however, if I saw it as wasteful or not worth it, then I wouldn’t spend the money.

I encourage you to think about WHERE YOU SPEND OR INVEST YOUR MONEY.  Do you invest in things for yourself?  If NOT, I would encourage you to reflect on why you are not valuing yourself enough to invest money in yourself.   Things shift for us when we are willing and open to shift our thinking. What could happen IF YOU INVESTED IN YOURSELF TODAY?

April 12, 2017

LiveYour Truth and Stop the Worry of What Others Think

Today I am doing something a little bit different, as I bring a video blog to you.

I have been writing a weekly blog for the past 4 1/2 years and I know how busy we can all get in the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, that I have decided to introduce some video message and inspiration for you.  You can still get the same inspiration and wisdom and in addition you will get the opportunity to listen while driving in the car or getting ready in the morning.  You will also get the chance to see me and get to know me by experiencing me and my message as opposed to just reading about it.

I hope you enjoy and are still feeling inspired to unlock your presence power and potential.