November 27, 2020

Awareness of The Fullest Expression of You

 

If you want to live as the fullest expression of WHO YOU ARE, then you need to learn how to experience being in your body. Whether you want a more intimate relationship with your partner, you want to fulfill your passion and purpose in life, or you want to make more money in your business and be of greater service in the world, the key to your growth and development is to first look at who you currently are, and second who you are becoming. You can only become the best, fully expressed version of yourself when you KNOW YOURSELF. You must know yourself in mind, body and spirit. When you SEE YOURSELF and FEEL YOURSELF, you can come to KNOW YOURSELF.

How do you come to live in the fullest expression of WHO YOU ARE?

I want to share with you a couple of different key tools you can use to assist you on your journey to becoming the most fully expressed version of YOU. The two I want to discuss are a photoshoot and dancing. Now I don’t mean just get your picture taken, although that can be fun too, but I want you to pay attention to the entire experience from start to finish. I get a lot of push back from so many women when it comes to getting their photo taken. They are the first ones to ensure a family photo is taken, but they themselves don’t want to be in the photo.

I want to share a story, where one day I was helping a photographer friend at a free local event. There were a variety of different vendors and he was giving away free headshots. Many women and their children walked through the doors of the building. They stopped to speak with us, however, what I noticed is that whenever a woman was asked if they wanted their picture taken, majority said NO! They were MORE THAN HAPPY to get photos of their kids taken and smiled with glee to see the happy looks on their children’s faces, however, when it came to them, it was like someone just died.  NO WAY JOSE!!!! This is not for me!!!

I heard things like…
… I don’t like my picture taken
… I didn’t do my hair today
… I don’t take good photos
… I never like how I look in pictures
… I am not dressed appropriately
… I need to lose 10 – 15 pounds first

Let’s take a deeper look at dancing. How many of you enjoy moving to the beat of the music when you hear one of your favorite songs, but feel awkward because you don’t think you are doing it right, or think you might look weird? You know music fuels your soul, but at the same time something stops you from embracing BEING ONE with the music. When I started taking dance lessons, many women loved hearing about my journey and said I would love to dance, BUT…

I heard things like…
… I can’t move like that
… I have 2 left feet
… I would need to lose 10 – 15 pounds
… I don’t like how I look
… I don’t want someone to watch me
… I would never look good in a dress like that

The truth is, many women tend to HATE one or more things about their body, which makes it difficult to want to get their photo taken or be seen dancing. These are 2 of the easiest ways you can begin to get to know yourself more intimately. They allow you to BE IN YOUR BODY where you can begin stepping into the fullest expression of you.

Don’t you wonder…

What if experiencing a photoshoot or dancing like no one is watching could be the catalyst to help you feel more comfortable being in your body? 
What if embodiment provided you insights into knowing yourself better as the amazing woman you are?
What if embodiment could propel you forward in your relationship and your business?

 

Ballroom Dancing
October 27, 2020

Stop Judging Yourself. What Do YOU Desire?

What do you REALLY desire? How many times do you have an idea or spark within you and ignore it? We all do this sometimes, but what happens when you say YES to your desires? I want to share an experience from my personal journey on saying YES to my desires. Or in this case, yes to the dress. (pun intended)

In 2019, I started taking ballroom dancing lessons and was excited to attend one of their dance competitions. I had watched Dancing with the Stars many times, and loved the show, so was curious as to what the experience would be like watching something similar in person.

When I walked in, I was mesmerized by the entire experience. Not only was I able to watch the dance competition, I was quickly drawn to a section in the back where there were hundreds of beautiful dresses. I curiously asked if I could try any on. Not only did I get to watch the competition, I got to play too. It was so much fun!!!

I tried on a handful of dresses but, when I put on this blue amazing sparkly dress, I just KNEW it was for me. It fit perfectly. It was like the dress was made just for me. I wanted to buy it. BUT… A part of me looked at the price tag and said OUCH!!!! Then my logical mind said things like, Yes, this is a pretty dress that looks great on me, but I had no intention of buying a dress today, do I really want to spend the money on it?

How many of you can relate to that question? You have a desire, you know you want it, but something inside of you holds you back from saying yes! There are questions running in your mind like….

• Is it worth the investment?
• Do I really need the thing that I want?
• Would this be an impulsive purchase that is not worth the money?
• How would I pay for it? It’s not like I have the money to pay for it out right.
• I could use the money for so many other things, do I really want to spend it on this?

I went through all the same thoughts and feelings. Along my journey, I have realized how important it is to say YES to my desires when I really want something. When I first started taking dance lessons, I remembered envisioning myself participating in a competition one day. And here I was trying on a dress that felt like the Universe sent it to me. Who was I to deny myself this beautiful dress that showed up for me?

I listened to my heart’s desire and didn’t care how much it was. I would figure it out. I put the dress on. I felt amazing in it. I even remember looking down and noticing a sexy slit down my right thigh and in that moment, I just knew I was meant to say YES! It felt like me saying yes to my TRUTH. I was saying yes to my own value and worth as a woman.

What is something you have always wanted to do or buy for YOU? I encourage you to feel into your desire before saying NO or making up excuses as to why you don’t need it. You deserve to have all that you desire!

Meditation
October 27, 2020

Truly Experience Life … A Body Loving Bucket List!

When we stop looking for proof outside of ourselves, we can do the only thing that is left, get to know ourselves and our bodies. To experience life and have some fun!!! Who are you? What do you enjoy? What do you do for fun? Do you allow yourself time to play? Do you experience life” Or do you sit on the sidelines and watch things happen for other people, wondering when things are going to shift for you?

Let’s talk about some specific ways you can begin to tune into your body so that you can not only experience more of life’s adventures, but that you can connect with your body, your spirit and your desires. When you are in your body you can make decisions that FEEL GOOD TO YOU. You are no longer making decisions from the voices outside of yourself, you are making the choice from WITHIN your soul.

A dear friend of mine once said to me, “Jen if it feels good, do it. If it doesn’t feel good, then don’t.” It was so simple, wasn’t it? So many of us are numb to our bodies and our desires, that we have a hard time deciphering what really feels good to us. We can’t tell which voice to listen to, but when you get present and learn to connect with your body and experience life, you are able to begin raising your vibration and manifesting what you desire in your life.

Let’s take a quick peak on some things that you can do to be IN YOUR BODY. This is just a small list, but it’s a place to get started. This activity is not about using your mind, it is about doing something where you can be in your body. This list is about being playful, enjoying life and having FUN, not because someone else wants to do it, but because it brings YOU joy and pleasure.

– Take a singing lesson, sing karaoke or sing in the kitchen
– Go dancing (you can take private lessons or just dance for fun at a local spot)
– Have your picture take or take your own pictures
– Go to a yoga, pilates or meditation class
– Working out
– Go on a roller coaster
– Traveling, go on a trip
– Walking in nature, especially by the trees, mountains or the ocean
– Outdoor adventures (hiking, ziplining, the list is endless…)
– Gardening, planting flowers or growing your own fruits or veggies
– Enjoying cooking in the kitchen (rather than see it as a chore, enjoy it)
– Participating in sports. Too many to name, but play a good ole friendly game of basketball, baseball, volleyball football, hockey etc.
– Go camping and enjoy the outdoors
– Rent a canoe or kayak and enjoy being on the river
– Create your own fun… Have a picnic, create a trivia night

Take some time to identify if there something on the list you have wanted to try? Or start your own pleasure bucket list.

Meditation
October 27, 2020

Stop Looking for Proof Outside Yourself

Last month we talked about how transformation begins in the body, and this month I want to dive deeper into how we can experience more of what life has to offer as well as understand what can get in the way of us experiencing our desires. Sometimes we sit on the sidelines and wait for the perfect timing or the perfect answer and end up letting life pass us by rather than experience it. Let me share with you a couple of stories that bring a new perspective to what stops us from really being in our body and experiencing life.

In the book Red Hot and Holy, author Sera Beak talks about her personal spiritual journey. She had a PHD in philosophy, studied a variety of religions, and was looking for the proof somewhere on who had “the right answer” when it came to spirituality. She researched, studied, took courses, interviewed people and what she ended up realizing was, there is NO PROOF! Yep. You can’t find the truth, the perfect solution or the answer written anywhere. You must experience spirituality for yourself she found. It proved to be a very personal journey for each individual.

So what does experience “it” even mean? Experiencing it isn’t about getting another degree or waiting for things to show up in your life. It is about being in your body and living authentically through all the moments and emotions of life. Experiencing “it” means to allow yourself to be free to feel and embrace all that the world and your relationships can offer.

How many of us spend our lives trying to prove a point or prove someone else wrong? Or we do not want to take a risk because we can’t prove it is going to work? We need to surrender the ego and the need to know, and allow ourselves to feel what our heart is guiding us to do. This is true of all aspects of our lives. We all have societal, cultural, religious and familial belief structures that have been passed down that define our value and belief systems. We are taught that if it’s not in alignment with our belief system, then it is WRONG. It is hard to think that some things your faith or family taught you, are not really the truth. In fact, it is downright terrifying for many to think that.

Let me use my personal story as an example. I was taught that I had to always go to the bible to find PROOF of God’s message. There was a point in my journey where I questioned whether things showing up were from God or the Devil. Trust me when I say, I can understand if you feel the same way. I was raised in a devout Catholic family and my faith was the foundation of everything. If I listened to outside voices, I would get confused. Others would chastise me and tell me how wrong I was to think or believe new ideas showing up for me. There is one day I remember meeting two very lovely women and could feel their positive energy. Another woman approached me and told me to stay away from “those people”. Some faiths believe God warns us to stay away from psychic mediums because they are from the devil or a negative source. I remember going to the chapel to pray and asked for guidance. My thinking mind went home to research this PROOF in the bible for myself. I didn’t want to make the WRONG choice. A couple hours later a different friend of mine recommended that I meet with someone. It happened to be one of those ladies. I thank God for answering my prayers and it was in that moment, I KNEW to trust my heart and to STOP LOOKING for proof outside of myself. I didn’t need to find written proof anywhere and that God could answer my prayers in many different ways. I like to say that my “faith” or (belief system) held me back and yet my “faith” and (belief in a higher power) pulled me through.

As you see from my story, there is conflict here for many women. But what is important for women to understand is the need to know, the need to control our relationships and outcomes, may be what holds many of us back from true connection. This mindset issues will impact your romantic relationships. Do you ever find yourself looking for proof if your partner is “the one”? Or have you ever started a fight because your partner did not meet your expectations? Ever you ever felt like your intuition told you one thing, but logic, friends or family told you to doubt? This back and forth, looking for proof and approval outside of ourselves, may be the exact reason why we find certain types of relationships challenging.

September 27, 2020

Rewiring our Brains for Pleasure

How many of you have felt frustrated, overwhelmed, stressed out, empty or unfulfilled? Many hardworking women feel this way, whether you work in corporate America, own your own business, or are a stay at home mom, it is easy to fall into the trap of trying to be everything for everyone. As women we have been programmed to be “people pleasers” and we rarely have time to take care of ourselves. It’s like we go through our days sleepwalking through life. We are so busy DOING, that we don’t know how to feel. When we do get time to rest, we are so exhausted that we feel NUMB.

On top of all the mental stress and anxiety, you find it hard getting “in the mood” for intimacy! Your partner wants to connect with you, and you just don’t feel up to it. You could live without sex, it’s not really that important to you.

BUT…What if connecting with your body was the answer? What if your partner nudging you to engage in physical intimacy was the exact medicine you needed?

When we are exhausted, our bodies are trying to tell us something, but most of the time we don’t listen. It is important to know there is magic and wisdom here, but many of us are too afraid to see it. We want our partners to connect with us emotionally, our partners want us to connect with them physically. God made us both to support each other on the journey. What if, being in your body was the key to transforming your life?

What if…

you no longer felt numb, you felt alive.
you no longer felt pain, you felt pleasure.
you no longer felt empty, you felt fulfilled.

We can all do this by rewiring the programming of our brain so that we can better connect with our bodies as opposed to fight with them. The first step is acknowledging where we are in our mindset journey. Then, we can begin the process of surrender. This is a process where we are not DOING, but rather FEELING and BEING. If it feels uncomfortable, THAT IS OK! In fact, that is GREAT! You know why? Because you are listening to your body and feeling something uncomfortable. You don’t know how something feels unless you DO IT! There is magic and wisdom in every step of the way.

Just imagine what your life could be like if you made the decision to commit to loving and connecting with your body on a regular basis? There are a variety of different embodiment practices here at The Freedom Key’s that can help you to connect with your body in a healthy and safe way, but the very first step is to acknowledge how your body is feeling without judging it. This is a critical part in the process. It might not seem like a fun, however your body is providing insights on how to listen all the time. It is ok to feel uncomfortable and step outside of your comfort zone. That is the BEST time to take yourself to a new level of growth. If it was easy, we would ALL be doing it right? It’s one thing to say you want to do something, but it’s another to make the choice to commit to something.

Let’s compare this to another life example…

When someone starts to lift weights, do you think it’s easy and comfortable right away? HECK NO! But you test out the weight and see what feels comfortable to you. Is it too heavy, too light or just right? Maybe you need to adjust your stance a little. Maybe you just need to practice a few more times to see how it feels. If you just ignore your body, you will get the same results you are currently getting. Sound familiar?

September 27, 2020

The “Look Good” Complex

Society has put so much focus on BEAUTY for women, that it is constantly in our faces to “LOOK GOOD” at any age. We take care of our skin, put on make-up, get our hair and nails done, buy classy and glamorous clothes, wear cool jewelry, get a bikini wax etc… so that we look and feel sexy.

Now don’t get me wrong, I believe that investing in yourself is a HUGE and important step in the self-love process, but this is only one component. The truth is that you can put all the “sexy beauty” products on money can buy and still feel like you don’t love and accept your body.

I saw a post the other day of a mom who said something like, “it is okay to hate my body because of the amazing child I conceived from it.” I was stunned. I felt the pain and trauma of this woman as well as all the other women who agreed with her post. I wished they could love and appreciate their body for the miracle it created. Rather than accept and love her body for who she was, she gave herself permission to dislike her body because it didn’t “LOOK GOOD” to her anymore.

If we ignore, don’t love or reject our bodies, we are abandoning the core essence of who we are and create resistance to closing the gap between where we are and where we want to be. What we don’t realize, is that when we think or say negative things about ourselves and our body, we are not in alignment with source. Whether the thoughts are conscious or not, the vibration we emanate the vibration that runs the show. If we stay at a lower level vibration we will continue to attract more of the same. Our body and our sensual intelligence are the keys to creating more of what we desire in life. The key to raising our vibration is being able to FEEL. Our body can help us release resistance and close the gap so that we can raise our vibration and manifest our desires.

Your body is your truth. It is also your home in this lifetime. While, there is so much emotional and spiritual healing which focuses on the mind and the psyche, many times the body is overlooked. The body is essential to our healing and transformation. When we are unable to connect with our body, we create a gap between where we are and what we desire. If you dislike your body, or ignore your body, you are manifesting resistance to creating more of what you actually desire.

How many of you have tried to look at yourself naked in the mirror and say things like: “I love my naked body.” “I love how beautiful I look.” “I love and accept my body just the way she is.” I encouraged a client to say positive affirmations to herself and her feedback was, “I CAN’T DO IT. IT FEELS FAKE.” She didn’t believe it. She shared that she knew the power of positive affirmations, but whenever she tried, it didn’t feel genuine. It felt forced. It was uncomfortable. She didn’t like it.

Can you relate to her?

September 27, 2020

Transformation Begins in the BODY Not the Mind

Have any of you tried manifestation practices, but got discouraged when things did not happen as you expected? You heard about the magic of the law of attraction and how you can create your own life and the relationship of your dreams. So, you dream big, set off rockets of desire hoping you will achieve your goals, attract the right partner, re-ignite the spark in your relationship, come into an abundance of money, but then it doesn’t happen. You get frustrated. You claimed what you want but are not physically seeing and experiencing things manifest like you desire. When this happens, there is a gap between WHAT you desire and how you FEEL about your desire.

Unfortunately, this experience happens to so many of us. We unintentionally create resistance that blocks us from manifesting what we truly desire. Like an emotional upper level limit problem. The hard truth is that you can’t just say affirmations and expect things to manifest.

The reason for this is simple…Most of us don’t really BELIEVE the statements we say. As a result, we are not able to raise our vibration to meet our desires.

Studies show our subconscious mind runs the show and drives 95% of what we create in our lives. Over the years, we have been programmed with a variety of beliefs. If those beliefs are running the show, no amount of positive affirmations alone will change those beliefs.

We must be open and ready to FEEL the vibration of our affirmations and beliefs not just THINK them. Thinking is in the MIND, but feeling is in the BODY. When we allow ourselves to be in tune with our body, we can shift our energy and begin to raise our vibration and FEEL into the belief of our desires. When you are connected to your body, you open the pathway to connect directly with source energy. If we are disconnected to our body, it becomes a struggle for us to FEEL that belief and conviction. This is where doubt sets in and gets in the way of what you truly desire. The challenge we have is that any sliver of doubt creates uncertainty and a lack mentality. This questioning disturbs our faith and belief that something will happen and keeps us in a resistance pattern.

So how can you raise your vibration so that you are in alignment with your desires?

You can’t THINK your way into it, you must FEEL your way into alignment. You can have faith and hope that something will happen, however the magic begins when you have the conviction of knowing something. You don’t need to prove it to anyone. It is a KNOWING deep in your core. You can feel it. Real transformation begins with the BODY, not the MIND. When you are tapped in, tuned in, turned on and connected with your body you
– FEEL the conviction and deep knowing
– Release resistance to shift your energy
– Raise your vibration to close the gap and meet your desire
– Experience the physical manifestation of your desire

October 2, 2017

The Mind Knows, but the Body Experiences

This past week my son Andy (8 year old) was in the playoffs for baseball.  At one point during the game there was an overthrow to 1st base.  Typically at this age, they do not run, they only take a base, however, a decision was made that they were going to let the kids run since it was the playoffs.

So imagine a kid overthrowing from 3rd base to 1st.  They have been taught how to throw and what happens when you over throw it, but never experienced the consequence.  Well this day they did.  One kid overthrew the ball and the kids didn’t really know what to do to field the  ball, however, the kids running didn’t stop running they just kept going. They ended up scoring and making the game much closer than it was.

I share this story, because sometimes kids need to EXPERIENCE something before they really understand the lesson.  You could tell them to you were blue in the face what to do when a ball is overthrown, but if you never experienced it you don’t know how you will react.

The same goes for adults.  So many people are focused on self help and motivational books.  A lot of training is moving online.  It makes it simpler and easier to access, which is great.  BUT, sometimes even us adults need to practice and experience something before we have really learned the lesson.

How many of us KNOW what to eat, and still don’t do it.
How many of us KNOW we need to exercise and still don;t do it
How many of us KNOW the benefits of meditation, and still don’t do it.

It is time to STOP just learning and building up knowledge.  This is a great first step, however, its time to take action and experience the lesson and the work.

June 2, 2017

The Opposite of Faith is Doubt

How often do you question yourself and wonder if you are making right decision?  You sometimes have great ideas but get stuck in analysis paralysis.  You don’t want to just jump into something.  You want to be sure that you are smart about this and make a strategic decision.

So you pause, and then think.
You create a pros and con list.
You analyze.

More doubts and questions start to creep in.
New worrisome thoughts enter your head
You analyze some more.

You seek advice and get thoughts from friends
Depending on who you talk with, you might have MORE questions
And then you end up in this vicious spinning cycle of over thinking and over analyzing.

Why do we do this to ourselves?  Our heart knows the answer, however, we don’t always listen to it.  We allow our mind to get involved.  We want to ensure we make the “right” decision.  We don’t want to look bad.  We don’t want to make a mistake, so we take more time than necessary to make decisions, or worse, we don’t make a decision at all.

What if rather than doubting, you trusted and had faith.  Mel Robbins talks about the 5 second rule.  We can do anything in 5 seconds, after 5 seconds we start to doubt.  What is your first thought?  Is it yes or no?

shutterstock_170589149

If it is not a hell yes, then it is a hell no

It is when we start to focus on the HOW’s that doubts start to creep in. When we try to control the outcome, we tend to create unneeded pressure on ourselves.   It is not our job to focus on the HOW, that is God’s job.  Our job is to create the vision and believe.  To ask for daily guidance on the next best actions to take. ,

The next time you have an important decision to make, don’t allow yourself a lot of time to make the decision.  Listen to your gut, decide and have faith in what you have chosen.

April 26, 2017

Should I Spend Money on That?

How many of you find yourself struggling with “SHOULD I SPEND MONEY ON THAT?

What have you been taught about money?  Have you been taught the following?:

Money is the root of all evil
Money is not that important, its just money
Money doesn’t grow on trees, it is a limited resource
You need to save for a rainy day
It is selfish to want a lot of money

These are just a few of the top money and abundance blocks out there. I have personally struggled with my thoughts and beliefs about money.  It is never something that I really focused on.  However, as I created intentional focus on my thoughts and beliefs about money, I have seen some shifts in my life.

Money is a representation of the value that you provide to others.  It is an exchange for goods or services rendered.  It’s all about defining the VALUE that is created by the exchange.

How often do you make decisions based on a lack or scarcity mentality as opposed to an abundance and and prosperity mentality?  Many times we don’t invest in ourselves, because we are afraid to spend the money.  Which is the exact opposite of what we really want.  We allow ourselves to punish or sabotage ourselves unknowingly by not being true to ourselves and our desires.

KayakI remember last summer I was reintroduced to my love of kayaking.  One day I decided to take two of my boys for a surprise and went to the Naperville Riverwalk so that we could rent a kayak and go on the water,   When I got there, I looked at the price of the paddleboat vs. the price of the kayak.  While I REALLY wanted to rent the kayak, it was like $25 MORE than the paddleboat.  So I stood there, and questioned myself.  WHAT SHOULD I DO?  WHAT SHOULD I SPEND MY MONEY ON?

I almost rented the paddleboat and then something in me said NO.  You came here to kayak, so spend the extra money and get the kayak.  That is the REAL EXPERIENCE you want to have.   There is value behind the experience of having your boys experience a kayak vs. the paddleboat.  Don’t sell yourself short.   I did choose to rent the kayaks and we had an AMAZING experience.  I felt so good about my decision and the experience we had.  If I wouldn’t have spent the money, I would have felt bad that I didn’t listen to myself and would have wondered what we might have missed out on, however in the past I have deprived myself or chosen NOT to do something and ended staying in my comfort zone.  This felt SO MUCH BETTER and because I was true to myself and in alignment with what I wanted, I started to see shifts with my kids.  That was reason enough to say yes to my own desires.

How many of us, stop in our tracks and don’t spend money on what we REALLY want, thinking another option might save us money.  Each situation and person is unique on what they define as valuable, however, what I learned about myself was that when I saw VALUE in something, I would invest the money on it, however, if I saw it as wasteful or not worth it, then I wouldn’t spend the money.

I encourage you to think about WHERE YOU SPEND OR INVEST YOUR MONEY.  Do you invest in things for yourself?  If NOT, I would encourage you to reflect on why you are not valuing yourself enough to invest money in yourself.   Things shift for us when we are willing and open to shift our thinking. What could happen IF YOU INVESTED IN YOURSELF TODAY?