So what does the significance of the number 936 have to do with anything? I listened to an amazing talk last weekend entitled “Losing Your Marbles”. At first I thought, “What the heck could this be about?” As I listened to the message I was in awe. I could feel chills down my spine and tears rolling down my face.
936 is the number of weeks we have with our children from the time they are born until the time they turn 18 and leave for college. Each marble represents one week of your child’s life. Therefore, you start out with a full jar of marbles, and every week that goes by, you take away a marble. When one marble is gone you can never get that time back. So the question is… How are you using your marbles?
Kids spell love T – I – M – E. Where are we spending our time with our kids?
So I started thinking, my oldest son Chris has approx 156 marbles left, Matt 312 , Danny 412, and Andy 676. So 3 of my boys have more than half of their marbles gone! Where does the time go? It really made me think about the time I spend with them. Of course the more kids you have the more challenging it is to spend quality time with each one, but this message left me thinking. Am I doing everything I can to spend quality time with them? Are there areas, where I am good with spending time with my kids and others that could use improvement. The talk was broken into 4 different categories:
1) Time on Their Turf – Doing stuff they love or going to their events/activities; for me I spend alot of time at baseball fields, hockey rinks and basketball courts. My house has even turned into a sporting arena.
2) Time on Your Turf – Allowing them into your world and sharing a piece of you with them; music, history, sports, stories from the olden days etc…
3) Time on Neutral Turf – Going out to eat, a neutral place to have, fun, enjoy. Evening driving in a car with no electronic devices. Sometimes this is where our kids open up to us on this neutral turf. It’s usually during the times that we least expect it.
4) Time on God’s Turf – Instilling the importance of a faith foundation in their lives. Just like they want a relationship with you, they need to spend time creating a relationship with God.
As I reflected on this, I found differences in the way that I interact with each of my kids, but the time on neutral turf was one that rose my eyebrows. Being a mom of 4 boys, I sometimes think to myself, what would my boys really enjoy? I am a girl, I don’t know what a boy needs or wants. They really need and want their dad more. If I do something with them it has to be an amazing unforgettable experience. But the truth is, they would sometimes be happy snuggling (or sitting as they get older) on the couch, singing and dancing (being silly) in the kitchen, talking about their favorite sport team and the latest guy who got traded or going out for ice-cream or a donut.
The health coach in me cringes when I think about offering them bad food choices, but there is another part of me that thinks that creating a neutral place to share stories and bond with my boys is more important than them indulging in a “bad choice” loaded with tons of sugar and absolutely no nutrition what so ever. Sometimes, I just have to let go and allow God to work his magic.
So what turf do you think you do really well with and which turf could use a little brushing up? Would love to hear from you.