November 26, 2021

The wrong things you were taught about desire!


What where you taught about DESIRE?  Were you taught it was wrong, bad and shameful?  It is gluttonous to WANT more than what you have.  You should be grateful for what you have and not be selfish.  There are so many poor people in the world who need support and YOU don’t need that.  The list goes on and on.

I spent some time evaluating what I really thought about desire.  What was I taught?  Could it be that I had limiting beliefs around desire?  Could it be that I was taught certain things to protect me from desire?  Could it be that this fire and itch inside of me was real?  There really is more to desire than I originally thought!  If I was thinking this way, could it be that others were thinking and feeling the same thing too?  Are we all secretly wondering but not sure where to go?  Are we all wanting a sacred sisterhood where we can know that we are NOT alone in how we feel?

I had my own thoughts and decided to interview other women, and what I found is that they had many of the same beliefs, but at the same time, there was this nagging and yearning inside of them, that was SEARCHING FOR SOMETHING MORE

We REALLY do want and desire MORE in our lives
We REALLY do want to experience passion, romance and pleasure.
We REALLY do want to feel adventure, excitement and fulfillment
We REALLY do want to want to feel beautiful, alive and vibrant
We REALLY do want to feel like a woman..

Women are hungry for desire and don’t know it!!!

I was reading a book, Wild at Heart by John Eldredge and came across the top 3 core desires of men and women that God placed in our hearts.  Women want, romance, purpose and to look and feel beautiful.   I stopped in my tracks and thought WOW.  This is in alignment with what I feel and what many of the women I interviewed shared. This book also proceeded to talk about our Christian beliefs and how unfortunately our beliefs can get in the way of what we truly desire.

Some of you may agree or disagree with me here, but I feel called to share the insights that were downloaded to me.  What I realized after reading this book is that the reason it was hard for me and so many other women to claim what they really wanted is because at the core, we were told DESIRE is EVIL.

I was taught things like…
Desire is evil
Desire is wanting more than what we have
I should be happy what I have and not want more.
Desire is selfish and gluttonous
I need to earn what I want, not just expect it
If I didn’t earn it, I don’t deserve it
… the list goes on….
Where did these believes come from? I believe it stems from our cultural, familial and religious beliefs passed down from generation to generation.  After much research and contemplation, I found some insights with the story of Adam and Eve.  In short, Eve had a desire to eat from the fruit of the tree.  She went after her desire, when she was told not to and felt embarrassed and ashamed.  She felt naked.  She was banished from the garden and experienced a completely different life than before going after her desire. In short, this can translate into “Going after your Desires is Evil or Wrong”. If you go after your desires, you are going against God’s will and will be punished.  I know there are many folks who might question me on this interpretation, however, this is my observation and belief.  The truth is we ALL have subconscious beliefs that are blocking us from moving forward in our lives.  I encourage you to think…. WHAT IF… this is something that could be blocking me?

If you have a subconscious belief that “Desire is Evil”, it will be VERY HARD for you, go after your desires.  It will be very hard to identify what you want, let alone claim it and take time for you to manifest what you desire. What I have learned in my years of healing, is that Desire is causative and calls us forward.  Desire is a tool that God has provided to allow us to create more for our lives.  If you struggle with claiming what you want and desire in life, maybe, just maybe there is a limiting belief that is STOPPING you from claiming what you really want in your life.

November 26, 2021

Remembering Your Worth

Remembering Your Worth

Have you ever had periods of time when you have lost sight of your worth?  In those times you might have felt depressed, insecure, or lacked confidence in yourself. You know something doesn’t feel good, so you will likely pursue substitute worth based on judgment and outside forces rather than the beauty that resides within you. You will look for proof and validation outside of yourself. You may find yourself in a position of settling for less than what you truly desire, but struggle with stepping forward and remembering your worth. It can be easy to let yourself go, settle for breadcrumbs, tolerate bad behavior, focus on pleasing others or question if you deserve what you desire.

When you truly feel worthy, you love, honor and accept yourself without hesitation. You no longer question who you are. You no longer linger in guilt or shame. You no longer beat yourself up for making mistakes.  You no longer look for excuses. You stop comparing yourself to others.  You take 100% full responsibility for your life.  You accept the truth of who you are including all your imperfections. You come to the realization that the conception of your worth is not based on the fulfillment of ANY expectations. You begin to see your mistakes and failures as just another part of life’s journey. You know you are interconnected with all other living beings and when you claim your worth, it allows you to show up happy, motivated and confident in the essence of who you are and shine your light into the world.

Humans are like drops of water in an endless ocean. Our worth comes from our role as distinct individuals as well as our role as a part of something larger than ourselves. Awakening to this concept can help you rediscover the worth and value within every one of us, which helps to create a ripple effect in the world.

Every time you treat yourself with compassion and kindness, appreciate yourself, define your personal boundaries, be proactive in seeing that your needs are met, and claim your desires, you express your recognition of your innate value.

When you STOP feeling guilty for honoring your needs and desires, you claim your worth.  These are actions of loving and honoring yourself.  There is no need to look for validation or proof from outside of yourself. You are claiming you are a high value, divinely powerful and fully expressed woman.

What would happen if you remembered your worth?
What if you could stop all searching to uncover that which you already are?
How would your life be different? How would you hold yourself?  How would your heart feel? How would your being feel?

The greatest gift you can give to yourself and to others is to stand in your own value and worth.  Not to feel good by enabling, fixing or saving others, but rather to be a living example.  When you raise your standards and honor your worth, you step into your divine feminine power and fully express your needs and desires in all aspects of life.  You stand in your truth and shine your radiance and light to others as a role model and example to the world.

 

November 26, 2021

What do you THINK you know about being worthy?

What do you BELIEVE about WORTH ?
There is a big difference between self-esteem and self-worth, even though many times they are used interchangeably. Self- Esteem is a measure of how you feel about yourself at any given moment and is usually based on your skills, talents and abilities.  Your worth however, is not a product of your talent, your looks, your intelligence or how much you have accomplished.

Your worth is not defined by WHAT YOU DO, but rather WHO YOU ARE.  It is an immeasurable component of your eternal and infinite oneness with the Universe.  Your worth can not be taken away from you.  It can not be damaged by life’s traumas or challenges.  We are all born worthy and deserving. Your worth is intertwined into your very being as a human, however, as imperfect beings, you can easily forget or ignore your value and worth.

What were YOU taught about being worthy and deserving?

Honestly, as I reflect back, while I may have been taught that I was an amazing beautiful child of God, I still was taught to believe that I had to earn things in my life based on my skills, talents and abilities.  I was rewarded and praised for what I accomplished or did in my life.  I had to work hard and prove myself in order to be worthy and deserving of receiving praise, gratitude and recognition.  While I knew God would provide me grace and forgiveness daily, I still had to prove my worth and value in everything I did.

Your value and worth is about knowing your beliefs, owning your desires, loving yourself and your body, standing in your power and claiming your value so you can shine your light and radiance into the world.  There is a beautiful quote from Brene Brown that I absolutely love, that fully encompasses the depth of what this means to me.

“I’ve come to this belief that, if you show me a woman who can sit with a man in his real vulnerability, in deep fear, and be with him in it, I will show you a woman who, A, has done her work and, B, does not derive her power from that man.

Show me a man who can sit with a woman in deep struggle and vulnerability and not try to fix it, but just hear her and be with her and hold space for it, I’ll show you a guy who’s done his work and a man who doesn’t derive his power from controlling and fixing everything.”
 
When we are focused on OURSELVES and not on fixing or saving others, we can fully stand in our value and our power.  When we let go of the need to control, fix or save others and LIVE OUR LIVES, this is when we step into our truth.  So many of us have the deep desire to help others.  We want to make a difference in the world and make the world a better place, which is noble and honorable.  However, we can tend to base our value and worth on the success or failure of others.

If a loved one succeeds, we feel accomplished, worthy and deserving and when a loved one fails or doesn’t take our advice, we tend to question our value and worth.  We can tend to feel bad and feel guilt or shame.  Thinking or questioning, is there something we did wrong?  What could we have done differently? . Did we say or do the “right things”?  If only we could have made a different decision……

When we let go of the need to find our worth and value in others, we find our true selves.  When we no longer need to fill our days searching to uncover what has been here all along, we no longer need to prove our value.  We claim our value as a child of God, who is worthy and deserving of all our heart’s desires.