December 26, 2021

It’s Time to Talk About Sex, Baby

In the western world, we live in a patriarchal society, where the focus has been on men and the “masculine way” of doing things.  Women have had to work hard to get the same equality, opportunities and rights as men and in doing so we have lost a piece of our natural feminine nature along the way.  To take things a step further, there is a key piece of our feminine nature that was never passed down to us culturally from generation to generation, so in fact we would never know it was missing.

With the desire to be strong, independent and confident, many women have created a false, inauthentic presence. This lack of authenticity weakens their effectiveness, their self-esteem and their ability to create more of what they desire in life.  Women are hiding behind the truth of themselves and who they are. That truth begins with owning their body and their fullest expression as a woman (including their sexuality).   They may be strong and confident in many other aspects of their life, but when it comes to their body and their sexuality, they don’t see it as important.

For thousands of years, women were never taught the beauty, benefits and power that comes with being a woman.  We certainly were never taught to embrace our sexuality and our bodies.  We have always struggled with truly loving, accepting and treasuring our body for the beautiful amazing creature she is.  We have been taught to protect ourselves from men.  To hide.  To not show up as “too sexy”.

So I decided to interview hundreds of men and women, and I got these 3 answers to a very basic question.

What were you taught about sex growing up?

 

  • NOTHING: I didn’t learn much about sex and my body
  • I was told, don’t do it before you are married.
  • Use protection.

 

Now I understand that talking to your kids about sex and their bodies is not the easiest topic, however I want you to seriously reflect upon what you were taught, whether it was from your parents, school, religion or culture throughout your entire life.

How can we have a healthy society and teach future generations about sexuality when adults are not comfortable talking about sex and their bodies.  It’s ok to laugh and joke about farting, burping, peeing and pooping.  It’s a little embarrassing, however, it still gets a good laugh.  However, bring up the words, sex, moaning, orgasm, masturbation, dirty talk, pleasure, cock, pussy etc… and watch the room stop.  Everyone goes quiet and doesn’t know what to say.

I am not suggesting that we should encourage everyone including our young people to have sex all the time, however, what I am suggesting is that we encourage women to admit that we are sexual creatures with sexual desires.  There is no need to be ashamed of our authentic nature. We are not “bad girls” if we think about our desires and our own pleasure.  As a culture, we need to STOP suppressing ALL our desires (including our sexual desires) and STOP shaming the physical beauty of our bodies.

Our body and our perception of her lies behind the TRUTH of WHO WE ARE.

One of the keys to fully stepping into claiming our value and worth as a woman, is to get real with what we were taught about sex and our bodies.  We need to become aware of the conditioning we have around sexuality, rather than ignoring it or being afraid of it.  Since sex has been a TABOO subject it is something that is NOT frequently discussed.  However, it is a part of who we are and is an important piece for us to explore. How are we supposed to embrace our true nature and divinity as a woman, (including our sexuality) if no one taught us what it really meant?

Do you want to learn more?  Are you secretly curious to dip your toe into the water and discover the truth and beauty of sexuality and our bodies? Are you ready to discover how to honor and love yourself and your body for the sacred divine temple you are?

You are not alone! Join us for some fruitful conversations as we dive deeper into this sacred topic.

November 30, 2020

Inspired Beauty and The Experience of Witnessing

 

A photographer friend of mine used to do photoshoots of women and put on a gallery show every year named, Inspired Beauty. They were not “sexy” or boudoir photoshoots, but rather they focused on bringing out the beauty of a woman. He would see into a woman’s soul and allow her essence to be reflected through the photos taken. He could see the beauty in all women and felt his calling was to help women see the beauty inside of themselves. As we mentioned earlier, men can many times see more beauty in us than we see in ourselves, because we are so focused on comparing ourselves to societal standards. This photoshoot was a completely different experience than my first boudoir photoshoot. This was more than just feeling sexy and confident, this was about getting to know myself at a deeper level. It was almost like asking the question, “Who is Jen?” I want you to have a similar experience and dive into the depths of your truth and answer the question “Who are You?”

Many of the Inspired Beauty photos that were taken were captured of a woman not smiling. The goal wasn’t to put on a happy face. The goal was to allow a woman to see the beauty of herself and be in the moment. It felt more like an intimate experience of seeing into someone’s soul. It was not at all like taking photos for a branding shoot or a headshot. He captured amazing images of women that highlighted a woman’s essence of who she was. His work was POWERFUL. And those experiences were more than photoshoots for those women.

Photoshoots in general, are all amazing because the experience itself is an embodiment practice. It is an experience that puts you in a position of being in your body. The reality is, women have so much anxiety around picture taking like we discussed in a previous lesson. First is the anxiety around making the decision to say yes. Am I at the right body shape to do this? Once you make the decision to say yes, you question, what should I wear? After you plan your outfits, you may get nervous about having your hair, nails and make-up done. After all those decisions are made and tasks completed, you are left with being in the experience.  That’s right. When you are ready for the photoshoot, you get to then be the star of the show.  You not only get the opportunity to put on sexy clothes, but you also get the opportunity to be witnessed by someone. Not only are you nervous about how your pictures are going to look, you may also have anxiety about the fact that someone else can see how you are feeling in the moment. When you begin to let go of your anxiety and step into your expression as a woman and someone sees you doing that, it is extremely powerful. Yes, it can be scary and uncomfortable but after you had the experience, you can see how powerful it can be. To not only be in your power, but also have someone WITNESS you as well. If you allow it to be, it is what I would truly consider an intimate experience and connection with oneself. When you can feel at complete ease with yourself, you are experiencing a union and deep connection with Source energy.

 

Photo Credit Bob Briskey Photography

November 30, 2020

My First Photoshoot Experience

 

There was a point in my life where I didn’t think I was beautiful and sexy. I hid behind so many lies all my life. As I started being open to the possibility of SOMETHING MORE in my life and relationships, I participated in a program that allowed me to dive into my body shame. I realized that my body had physically been numb for years. I didn’t want to hide anymore. Through that program and other embodiment experiences, I had learned how to feel my body again.

 

So I set 3 intentions…

  • To share my experience with the world. To help other women heal their sexuality and body shame so they could have an epic love affair with themselves and show up as the sexy confident woman they desired to be.
  • To help other women take this newfound aliveness and create more intimate connections, and live the life of their dreams.
  • To challenge myself to do a boudoir photoshoot.

 

Now that I could feel my body again, I wanted to know how it felt to feel sexy and attractive again. The day after I got home from my retreat there was a Groupon in my inbox for a boudoir photoshoot. I thought to myself, really God? Could this really be happening? How on earth did this happen so quickly?

Then of course doubt set in and I made up every excuse in the book. I didn’t know if I should do it. I didn’t know if I could find the right photographer. I didn’t know if I really wanted to spend the money. I wanted to lose a good 20 to 40 pounds first. I almost said no because I was unhappy with my physical appearance. I just had this amazing spiritual awakening, but I was still not happy with my physical appearance and so almost said NO!

I spent some serious time in thought questioning what I was afraid of and why I would turn down the opportunity that I asked for. When it came down to it, I had been ashamed of my body and who I was for years. I didn’t want to spend money on photos of myself that I wouldn’t like, where I thought I was fat and didn’t look good. While I just had this awakening that I could feel my body again, I still needed to go through the process of additional healing to truly love my body again too. Then, I remembered the intention I set about sharing my story with the world and I made the decision to do my first boudoir photoshoot even though I felt curious, overweight and scared.

I had never really gotten my picture taken before, so this was one great way to tackle the challenge. The experience was so much more than a photoshoot. It symbolized being OPEN to saying yes to the possibilities that were in store for my life. I realized that before change could happen, I needed to be accepting and loving of myself for who I was NOW, not who I thought I should be. If I wanted to teach other women this message, then I needed to practice what I preach.

Doing a photoshoot was a great way to dive into the deep end of the self-love transformation process. This was just the beginning of my journey. I was so grateful I did the photoshoot.  While I didn’t release all the shame around my body, I took inspired action to begin appreciating my body as opposed to shaming it all of the time.

What I didn’t realize was how profound a photoshoot experience was on my overall confidence and self-image. I ended up having additional photoshoots over the course of the next seven years and each one was a completely different experience and part of the personal self-love journey. The photoshoot had two amazing components. The first is the experience of being in your body. A photoshoot isn’t just about the result of the photo, it is about the experience of really being present in the moment and learning to enjoy and be in your body, in serious, in playful, and in fun moments. The second part of the experience is something I wasn’t expecting and that was being witnessed by someone else. There is a profound feeling when you are in a space of loving yourself and your body and there is someone else witnessing you in that experience. It is like a breath of fresh air. They reflect to you the radiance you are shining during the photoshoot and it is miraculous to have someone truly see you in the depths of who you are.

 

 

 

November 27, 2020

Permission to Experience

 

I would like to challenge you, to really come into the fullest expression of yourself. To come to know and love you, which includes the enjoyment of being YOURSELF! If you want to be grateful and see the beauty in everyone and everything, you also need to do the same thing for yourself and learn to love and admire the BEAUTY IN YOU.

You might be thinking, ok Jen, that is great, but how is having a photoshoot or dancing going to help me create a better relationship with my partner, love myself more and help me step into a fuller expression of myself?

I’d like to share with you 3 different benefits…

  • Seeing yourself from a different perspective
    Being in your body allows you to take off the roles of mom, wife, professional, daughter, sister, volunteer person, church leader etc. and to SEE YOURSELF as the beautiful woman you are. It is no longer about doing something for someone else, it is about BEING and ENJOYING who you are. You can learn how to surrender and be in your body fully and completely. When you are in this fullest expression, you begin to attract more of what you desire in your life.
  • Feel into the experience and what it reveals to you about yourself
    The value of a photoshoot is much bigger than the result of the photos. The photos capture a snapshot in time of the essence of who you are, but the photoshoot itself allows you to fully step into YOU and experience the joy, beauty and pleasure of being you. Each time you do a photoshoot, you will see the growth in your journey and how you feel during the shoot. When you dance, you can feel into your energy and that of your partner. The experience allows you to step more fully into the essence of being a woman. When you move to the beat of the music you can feel the energy move through you. In each of these examples, you are not talking about something, you are experiencing and creating a new loving imprint within your body.
  • Witness the growth of who you are in your journey
    Since it’s hard to see ourselves, it is beautiful when you can experience multiple photoshoots and see your progress along the journey. It reminds me of watching kids grow up, you can see their growth. When you have a photo taken, you can see the change in who you are and have become show up in your photos as well. The same is true for dancing. You can see and feel the shift in the way you move, how you carry yourself and how you step into your energy, essence and your power as a woman. You are no longer giving your power away. You can feel and own your divine feminine power.

 

When you give yourself permission to experience BEING in your body, your whole world changes.  So, what does experience “it” even mean? Experiencing “it” is about being in your body and living authentically through all the moments and emotions of life. Experiencing “it” means to allow yourself to be free to feel and embrace all that the world and your relationships can offer. It means giving yourself permission to step into the fullest expression of you.

 

Meditation
October 27, 2020

Truly Experience Life … A Body Loving Bucket List!

When we stop looking for proof outside of ourselves, we can do the only thing that is left, get to know ourselves and our bodies. To experience life and have some fun!!! Who are you? What do you enjoy? What do you do for fun? Do you allow yourself time to play? Do you experience life” Or do you sit on the sidelines and watch things happen for other people, wondering when things are going to shift for you?

Let’s talk about some specific ways you can begin to tune into your body so that you can not only experience more of life’s adventures, but that you can connect with your body, your spirit and your desires. When you are in your body you can make decisions that FEEL GOOD TO YOU. You are no longer making decisions from the voices outside of yourself, you are making the choice from WITHIN your soul.

A dear friend of mine once said to me, “Jen if it feels good, do it. If it doesn’t feel good, then don’t.” It was so simple, wasn’t it? So many of us are numb to our bodies and our desires, that we have a hard time deciphering what really feels good to us. We can’t tell which voice to listen to, but when you get present and learn to connect with your body and experience life, you are able to begin raising your vibration and manifesting what you desire in your life.

Let’s take a quick peak on some things that you can do to be IN YOUR BODY. This is just a small list, but it’s a place to get started. This activity is not about using your mind, it is about doing something where you can be in your body. This list is about being playful, enjoying life and having FUN, not because someone else wants to do it, but because it brings YOU joy and pleasure.

– Take a singing lesson, sing karaoke or sing in the kitchen
– Go dancing (you can take private lessons or just dance for fun at a local spot)
– Have your picture take or take your own pictures
– Go to a yoga, pilates or meditation class
– Working out
– Go on a roller coaster
– Traveling, go on a trip
– Walking in nature, especially by the trees, mountains or the ocean
– Outdoor adventures (hiking, ziplining, the list is endless…)
– Gardening, planting flowers or growing your own fruits or veggies
– Enjoying cooking in the kitchen (rather than see it as a chore, enjoy it)
– Participating in sports. Too many to name, but play a good ole friendly game of basketball, baseball, volleyball football, hockey etc.
– Go camping and enjoy the outdoors
– Rent a canoe or kayak and enjoy being on the river
– Create your own fun… Have a picnic, create a trivia night

Take some time to identify if there something on the list you have wanted to try? Or start your own pleasure bucket list.

Meditation
October 27, 2020

Stop Looking for Proof Outside Yourself

Last month we talked about how transformation begins in the body, and this month I want to dive deeper into how we can experience more of what life has to offer as well as understand what can get in the way of us experiencing our desires. Sometimes we sit on the sidelines and wait for the perfect timing or the perfect answer and end up letting life pass us by rather than experience it. Let me share with you a couple of stories that bring a new perspective to what stops us from really being in our body and experiencing life.

In the book Red Hot and Holy, author Sera Beak talks about her personal spiritual journey. She had a PHD in philosophy, studied a variety of religions, and was looking for the proof somewhere on who had “the right answer” when it came to spirituality. She researched, studied, took courses, interviewed people and what she ended up realizing was, there is NO PROOF! Yep. You can’t find the truth, the perfect solution or the answer written anywhere. You must experience spirituality for yourself she found. It proved to be a very personal journey for each individual.

So what does experience “it” even mean? Experiencing it isn’t about getting another degree or waiting for things to show up in your life. It is about being in your body and living authentically through all the moments and emotions of life. Experiencing “it” means to allow yourself to be free to feel and embrace all that the world and your relationships can offer.

How many of us spend our lives trying to prove a point or prove someone else wrong? Or we do not want to take a risk because we can’t prove it is going to work? We need to surrender the ego and the need to know, and allow ourselves to feel what our heart is guiding us to do. This is true of all aspects of our lives. We all have societal, cultural, religious and familial belief structures that have been passed down that define our value and belief systems. We are taught that if it’s not in alignment with our belief system, then it is WRONG. It is hard to think that some things your faith or family taught you, are not really the truth. In fact, it is downright terrifying for many to think that.

Let me use my personal story as an example. I was taught that I had to always go to the bible to find PROOF of God’s message. There was a point in my journey where I questioned whether things showing up were from God or the Devil. Trust me when I say, I can understand if you feel the same way. I was raised in a devout Catholic family and my faith was the foundation of everything. If I listened to outside voices, I would get confused. Others would chastise me and tell me how wrong I was to think or believe new ideas showing up for me. There is one day I remember meeting two very lovely women and could feel their positive energy. Another woman approached me and told me to stay away from “those people”. Some faiths believe God warns us to stay away from psychic mediums because they are from the devil or a negative source. I remember going to the chapel to pray and asked for guidance. My thinking mind went home to research this PROOF in the bible for myself. I didn’t want to make the WRONG choice. A couple hours later a different friend of mine recommended that I meet with someone. It happened to be one of those ladies. I thank God for answering my prayers and it was in that moment, I KNEW to trust my heart and to STOP LOOKING for proof outside of myself. I didn’t need to find written proof anywhere and that God could answer my prayers in many different ways. I like to say that my “faith” or (belief system) held me back and yet my “faith” and (belief in a higher power) pulled me through.

As you see from my story, there is conflict here for many women. But what is important for women to understand is the need to know, the need to control our relationships and outcomes, may be what holds many of us back from true connection. This mindset issues will impact your romantic relationships. Do you ever find yourself looking for proof if your partner is “the one”? Or have you ever started a fight because your partner did not meet your expectations? Ever you ever felt like your intuition told you one thing, but logic, friends or family told you to doubt? This back and forth, looking for proof and approval outside of ourselves, may be the exact reason why we find certain types of relationships challenging.

September 27, 2020

The “Look Good” Complex

Society has put so much focus on BEAUTY for women, that it is constantly in our faces to “LOOK GOOD” at any age. We take care of our skin, put on make-up, get our hair and nails done, buy classy and glamorous clothes, wear cool jewelry, get a bikini wax etc… so that we look and feel sexy.

Now don’t get me wrong, I believe that investing in yourself is a HUGE and important step in the self-love process, but this is only one component. The truth is that you can put all the “sexy beauty” products on money can buy and still feel like you don’t love and accept your body.

I saw a post the other day of a mom who said something like, “it is okay to hate my body because of the amazing child I conceived from it.” I was stunned. I felt the pain and trauma of this woman as well as all the other women who agreed with her post. I wished they could love and appreciate their body for the miracle it created. Rather than accept and love her body for who she was, she gave herself permission to dislike her body because it didn’t “LOOK GOOD” to her anymore.

If we ignore, don’t love or reject our bodies, we are abandoning the core essence of who we are and create resistance to closing the gap between where we are and where we want to be. What we don’t realize, is that when we think or say negative things about ourselves and our body, we are not in alignment with source. Whether the thoughts are conscious or not, the vibration we emanate the vibration that runs the show. If we stay at a lower level vibration we will continue to attract more of the same. Our body and our sensual intelligence are the keys to creating more of what we desire in life. The key to raising our vibration is being able to FEEL. Our body can help us release resistance and close the gap so that we can raise our vibration and manifest our desires.

Your body is your truth. It is also your home in this lifetime. While, there is so much emotional and spiritual healing which focuses on the mind and the psyche, many times the body is overlooked. The body is essential to our healing and transformation. When we are unable to connect with our body, we create a gap between where we are and what we desire. If you dislike your body, or ignore your body, you are manifesting resistance to creating more of what you actually desire.

How many of you have tried to look at yourself naked in the mirror and say things like: “I love my naked body.” “I love how beautiful I look.” “I love and accept my body just the way she is.” I encouraged a client to say positive affirmations to herself and her feedback was, “I CAN’T DO IT. IT FEELS FAKE.” She didn’t believe it. She shared that she knew the power of positive affirmations, but whenever she tried, it didn’t feel genuine. It felt forced. It was uncomfortable. She didn’t like it.

Can you relate to her?

September 27, 2020

Transformation Begins in the BODY Not the Mind

Have any of you tried manifestation practices, but got discouraged when things did not happen as you expected? You heard about the magic of the law of attraction and how you can create your own life and the relationship of your dreams. So, you dream big, set off rockets of desire hoping you will achieve your goals, attract the right partner, re-ignite the spark in your relationship, come into an abundance of money, but then it doesn’t happen. You get frustrated. You claimed what you want but are not physically seeing and experiencing things manifest like you desire. When this happens, there is a gap between WHAT you desire and how you FEEL about your desire.

Unfortunately, this experience happens to so many of us. We unintentionally create resistance that blocks us from manifesting what we truly desire. Like an emotional upper level limit problem. The hard truth is that you can’t just say affirmations and expect things to manifest.

The reason for this is simple…Most of us don’t really BELIEVE the statements we say. As a result, we are not able to raise our vibration to meet our desires.

Studies show our subconscious mind runs the show and drives 95% of what we create in our lives. Over the years, we have been programmed with a variety of beliefs. If those beliefs are running the show, no amount of positive affirmations alone will change those beliefs.

We must be open and ready to FEEL the vibration of our affirmations and beliefs not just THINK them. Thinking is in the MIND, but feeling is in the BODY. When we allow ourselves to be in tune with our body, we can shift our energy and begin to raise our vibration and FEEL into the belief of our desires. When you are connected to your body, you open the pathway to connect directly with source energy. If we are disconnected to our body, it becomes a struggle for us to FEEL that belief and conviction. This is where doubt sets in and gets in the way of what you truly desire. The challenge we have is that any sliver of doubt creates uncertainty and a lack mentality. This questioning disturbs our faith and belief that something will happen and keeps us in a resistance pattern.

So how can you raise your vibration so that you are in alignment with your desires?

You can’t THINK your way into it, you must FEEL your way into alignment. You can have faith and hope that something will happen, however the magic begins when you have the conviction of knowing something. You don’t need to prove it to anyone. It is a KNOWING deep in your core. You can feel it. Real transformation begins with the BODY, not the MIND. When you are tapped in, tuned in, turned on and connected with your body you
– FEEL the conviction and deep knowing
– Release resistance to shift your energy
– Raise your vibration to close the gap and meet your desire
– Experience the physical manifestation of your desire

April 26, 2017

Should I Spend Money on That?

How many of you find yourself struggling with “SHOULD I SPEND MONEY ON THAT?

What have you been taught about money?  Have you been taught the following?:

Money is the root of all evil
Money is not that important, its just money
Money doesn’t grow on trees, it is a limited resource
You need to save for a rainy day
It is selfish to want a lot of money

These are just a few of the top money and abundance blocks out there. I have personally struggled with my thoughts and beliefs about money.  It is never something that I really focused on.  However, as I created intentional focus on my thoughts and beliefs about money, I have seen some shifts in my life.

Money is a representation of the value that you provide to others.  It is an exchange for goods or services rendered.  It’s all about defining the VALUE that is created by the exchange.

How often do you make decisions based on a lack or scarcity mentality as opposed to an abundance and and prosperity mentality?  Many times we don’t invest in ourselves, because we are afraid to spend the money.  Which is the exact opposite of what we really want.  We allow ourselves to punish or sabotage ourselves unknowingly by not being true to ourselves and our desires.

KayakI remember last summer I was reintroduced to my love of kayaking.  One day I decided to take two of my boys for a surprise and went to the Naperville Riverwalk so that we could rent a kayak and go on the water,   When I got there, I looked at the price of the paddleboat vs. the price of the kayak.  While I REALLY wanted to rent the kayak, it was like $25 MORE than the paddleboat.  So I stood there, and questioned myself.  WHAT SHOULD I DO?  WHAT SHOULD I SPEND MY MONEY ON?

I almost rented the paddleboat and then something in me said NO.  You came here to kayak, so spend the extra money and get the kayak.  That is the REAL EXPERIENCE you want to have.   There is value behind the experience of having your boys experience a kayak vs. the paddleboat.  Don’t sell yourself short.   I did choose to rent the kayaks and we had an AMAZING experience.  I felt so good about my decision and the experience we had.  If I wouldn’t have spent the money, I would have felt bad that I didn’t listen to myself and would have wondered what we might have missed out on, however in the past I have deprived myself or chosen NOT to do something and ended staying in my comfort zone.  This felt SO MUCH BETTER and because I was true to myself and in alignment with what I wanted, I started to see shifts with my kids.  That was reason enough to say yes to my own desires.

How many of us, stop in our tracks and don’t spend money on what we REALLY want, thinking another option might save us money.  Each situation and person is unique on what they define as valuable, however, what I learned about myself was that when I saw VALUE in something, I would invest the money on it, however, if I saw it as wasteful or not worth it, then I wouldn’t spend the money.

I encourage you to think about WHERE YOU SPEND OR INVEST YOUR MONEY.  Do you invest in things for yourself?  If NOT, I would encourage you to reflect on why you are not valuing yourself enough to invest money in yourself.   Things shift for us when we are willing and open to shift our thinking. What could happen IF YOU INVESTED IN YOURSELF TODAY?

April 12, 2017

LiveYour Truth and Stop the Worry of What Others Think

Today I am doing something a little bit different, as I bring a video blog to you.

I have been writing a weekly blog for the past 4 1/2 years and I know how busy we can all get in the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, that I have decided to introduce some video message and inspiration for you.  You can still get the same inspiration and wisdom and in addition you will get the opportunity to listen while driving in the car or getting ready in the morning.  You will also get the chance to see me and get to know me by experiencing me and my message as opposed to just reading about it.

I hope you enjoy and are still feeling inspired to unlock your presence power and potential.